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Difficult People – How to Deal with Them and Survive Them

Guest post by: Iris Barrow

Article Overview: It can be very stressful living or working with a ‘difficult person'. While we're unlikely to be able to change their behaviour, we can change the way we respond to them. We can develop some coping and self-protection skills. In this article you'll find three practical tips on how to better cope with that tricky family member, colleague or neighbour.

Difficult People – How to Deal with Them and Survive Them

What makes people difficult? Are we also difficult? When we find others difficult we have to ask whether we are simply failing to understand them.

No one is born ‘difficult'. We usually become that way through stressful circumstances during our upbringing. It could be that those in charge of us, the significant people in our lives at the time, mishandled us or betrayed our trust (often unwittingly). If we carry these hurts with us and don't deal with them, they can manifest themselves in ways that the people around us find difficult to cope with. For instance, the difficult person may be quick to anger, manipulative, judgemental, or controlling. They may even smother us by trying to get too involved in our lives. It can be very stressful living or working with a ‘difficult person'. While we're unlikely to be able to change their behaviour, we can change the way we respond to them. We can develop some coping and self-protection skills. Whether that difficult person is a family member, someone at work or a neighbour, you might find the following practical tips helpful. They are just a start, and remember, people can only affect as if we allow them to!

1. Develop a sense of humour. If you interact with your fellow human beings at all, you'll need it. Survivors carry a lot of laughter around in their kitbag. Laughter is one of the greatest stress breakers. You can find something funny in most situations. Keep your antennae up for it. The ability to laugh is a good sign of mental health.

2. Don't let other people's differences irritate you. Adopt the right mental stance towards other people's different ways of thinking and acting by refusing to let them upset and irritate you. It's mainly a matter of mental control. Adopting the right attitude saves us from stress and unnecessary suffering. You will feel calmer.

3. Only talk about others in a positive way. What goes around, comes around. We demean ourselves when we put others down. Of course, there are times when it's appropriate and necessary to discuss with a third party the negative impact a person is having on us, but we can do this with fairness and honesty. It's when we talk maliciously or negatively about them to others, that we lose a bit of respect for ourselves too.

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Article Tags: controlling, difference, difficult, humour, judgemental, manipulative, negative, positive, respect, stress, tricky



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