Tweet

Happy or Unhappy? It Depends on How You Think

Guest post by: Iris Barrow

Article Overview: We have the choice of being as happy as it is possible to be in life or basically unhappy. To a large extent this state is dependent on the way we think. True happiness must come from within. External factors are not, and can never be its true source. This article gives insights into the way we think, and how our thoughts and feelings interact to shape our mood. So often our ingrained ways of thinking can hold us back and cause us to feel dissatisfied and miserable. Here you will find advice on how we should be thinking to get the results we desire, to have the best quality of life possible.

Happy or Unhappy? It Depends on How You Think



Happy or Unhappy? It depends on how you think

Greta wondered why she always felt vaguely discontented and unhappy. Even when things were going well for her, she always felt slightly down. She had puzzled about this for years but couldn’t identify any reason why she felt ‘off the boil’ emotionally, as she put it.

She had no reason to feel the way she did. She had a loving husband, a nice home and was secure financially. She thought taking a part time job might improve her slightly down mood, but though she found her work interesting, it did not change her negative feelings.

The trouble was that Greta was a consistently negative thinker. She saw everything though dark glasses instead of clear ones.

Her communication was full of phrases like, “Can’t see that working” - “Why is he so nice? I wonder what he’s really like” – “Your bound to fall ill as you get older” – “Doubt that I would enjoy that, so I won’t go” – “I probably won’t cope, so I’m not getting involved”.

When her husband and teenage children pointed out to her that she was thinking negatively, she would deny it and state that she was just a realist.

There is a world of difference between being a realist and being a negative thinker. The latter way of thinking puts a dark spin on everything. The former faces facts and then adopts the stance, “Now what is the best option we’ve got to deal with this?” or “Let’s give it a go. It won’t be easy but we won’t know if we can do it, until we try”.

Learning to think constructively and positively

I want to quote a short passage from my book ‘Know Your Strengths And Be Confident’:

“When a person forms the habit of thinking positively and establishes a pattern for doing so, certain things begin to happen. They usually start to feel more confident and often find that they are handling stress-making situations in a better way. They develop a more optimistic outlook on life and begin to enjoy it more. They tend to adopt a more cheerful frame of mind and may also become more self-motivated. Things which they previously felt were beyond them, they now see as within their reach; because of this they are able to accomplish more. They begin to want to try their wings at new and unfamiliar things in the belief that they can succeed. It’s the old story of the right emotional response following the way they are thinking. Frequently their relationships with other people seem to improve. This is probably a reflection of their increased tolerance towards others due to their ‘happier’ feelings within (though it may well appear to them that the change for the better is coming from other people)”.

If you feed in the right message you’ll get the right response

Yes, it’s almost that simple. Every thought we think generates its own ‘echo-effect’ feelings. Feed in negative thoughts and you will feel slightly down on the feeling level. Continue to do so and you will be fortunate indeed if you do not experience depressed moods. A state of depression can eventually result from continual down moods. Some people have said to me “But I have no control over the way I think”. Oh, yes you have. For the simple reason that the conscious mind can only feed in one thought at a time. We think we are feeding in dozens of thoughts at once on this level, but we’re not. It’s just that thoughts can follow one upon the other in rapid succession. The reality is that we have more control over our thinking than we realise. We can choose how we are going to think for this moment, this second. Through the judicious use of that great tool – ‘Will’, we can largely control out thinking.

Once we consistently feed in positive (but realistic) thoughts, it follows that our feelings will change for the better too. In even a few weeks we usually notice that we are feeling more peaceful, contented, satisfied and so on. As we all know, happiness lies within.

There is a lot of truth in the old phrase “You are what you think”. We should all choose to work for and not against ourselves. Doing so reduces stress.

Related Articles
  I'll Be Happy When...
  Happiness or Fulfillment?
  Home Business Expert: How To Overcome Poverty Consciousness
  Here Is A Method That Is Helping New Managers To Delight Their Staff
  Personal Responsibility: Keep Yourself Happy
  Is My Happiness Where I Really Think It is?
  Dealing with customer complaints
  It's Never Too Late
  The Secrets Of Finding Your Perfect Career
  It's Never Too Late for A Happy Life
  Exercise Your Charisma Muscle
  Happiness every Day!
  How To Handle Disgruntled Customers
  Internet Marketing – 7 Main Ways To Achieve Trust Online & Increase Your Sales
  Top 5 Qualities in an Outsourcing Company
  Word-of-Mouth: The World's Best-Known Marketing Secret
  The Attitude of Gratitude
  Always Look on the Sunny Side
  Internal PR to Motivate Your Business Team
  You are destined to succeed and be joyous...just Think!

Article Tags: best quality, emotional responses, extent, external factors, happiness, insights, quality of life, true happiness, true source, unhappy



Related Forum Posts
Re: Should you hire ambitious workers or employees with no goals - Depends on the work you need done. Are there time limits, deadlines, etc.. Or is it like a security guard job where they have to sit and watch a monitor? If you giving them important tasks then I'd take ambitious employees any day of the week.
Re: Social media sites for link building? - Depends which ones you use. Some like Squidoo and hubpages are dofollow. Social bookmarking sites are sometimes dofollow right away while others are nofollow until they become popular.
I do wear a Tie...but - Depends on the occasion. If I am meeting clients I will always wear one and if we go out for drinks after I will mimic my clients. e.g. if they don't wear a tie after work and just a jacket I will do the same. If they just loosen their tie and unbutton the first button I will do the same. It relaxes the relationship and demonstrates we can communicate comfortably.
Re: How do you get your clients? - Depends on the type of business and whether online or offline Since we are online, I get my clients from Social business networks where relationships can be built and sale. When you think about it, and like it or not, social business network friends and members are LEADS After that comes blogs, articles, forums, etc
Re: The Boom In Social Media - I think social media pays for CERTAIn companies. Depends what industry they are in and whether or not they had a following to begin with. It can be much harder for other companies whose services are more traditional, like a laundromat or an insurance company. You really have to be willing to add some flair and personality to your business if you want to succeed in social media.


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

ROSI Return on SUNK Investment

Resolving A Conflict Between Two Sales Staffs

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.