The Art of Networking

According to a study in New York Times, being in a room full of strangers is the number one social fear, even above the number two fear - speaking in public. Being able to talk to people comfortably is highly correlated with success and affluence.

What I've learned about networking is that if you're prepared, you won't be scared.  These tips can help you get started:

Do your homework. The first step I take is to research the event I will be attending. Learn about the organization that is hosting the event and the key players who will be there. You can do this by reading the organization's newsletters, visiting their Web site, and getting a participant list.

Set goals. Do you want to meet a certain person?  Meet as many people as possible?  Determine, ahead of time, what you want to accomplish.

Circulate. Begin casual conversations during the gathering to both identify those targets you've chosen and to learn whom else might be there who could be of help. Talk with as many people as you can at a networking function. One way to feel comfortable doing this is to think of you as the host. Mingle. Introduce people to one another.

Treat everyone as equals. There is no real value in title or prestige alone. Value is in the information and support people can give, and that often comes from surprising sources.

Introduce yourself without describing anything about your work and simply listen. If in a group, which is likely, don't attempt your personal networking. Wait until you can find the person alone later, and approach one-on-one, preferably when you will have few minutes in private. That's all you need. Don't talk to someone while your eyes work the rest of the room, and talk only as much as required to get the other person talking. You want to hear about them, their views, and their preferences.

When you're able to spend a few minutes one-on-one, offer something of value, based on what you've heard. For example, if the person is a potential buyer who has mentioned the problem she's having with attracting and retaining good people, suggest a book that you would be happy to pass along or a web site that you'll send by e-mail which has articles on the subject. If the person is a graphic artist, ask permission to give his name to some people you know need literature designed. The key here is to provide value to the other person.

Give just to give. Don't give with the sole purpose of getting something back. Work hard for others and the rewards will come back to you ten times over.

In the event you're asked what you do, practice providing very succinct responses. Here's a dreadful response:

1.  
   • I'm a consultant who focuses on the interactions of teams, especially cross-functionally, raises sensitivity to synergies possible in greater collaboration, and implements processes to enhance team connectedness. I use instruments such as...

Here's a terrific response:

1.  
   • I assist clients in improving individual and organizational performance. (If the other person says, "That's a bit vague. How do you do that?" then you reply, "Well, if you tell me something about your organization and the issues you're facing, I'll show you how the approaches may apply specifically to you.")

Aim to make a lasting impression. When making your self-introduction, you will capture your listener's attention if you do the following:

• Headline something specific about your work upfront, leaving your name at the end so people hear it last
• Use a story, case example or tip to illustrate your work
• Isolate one or two unique skills or services that you offer

Ask powerful questions. After introducing yourself, ask others powerful questions to invite conversation. Powerful questions are open-ended and make people go inward and answer from their gut or heart. Here are some powerful questions I have asked:

• I am sure you get invitations to lots of events. What made you decide to come to this one?
• What do you know about...?  Oh, you don't know. Let me teach you something about...
• How has...impacted your life?
• What are the issues you are most passionate about?
• What do you think about...?

Exchange a card or somehow gather the other person's contact information so that you can send the promised material or information. At a minimum get a phone number and e-mail address. DO NOT provide brochures, materials, or any other gimmicks or "stuff." No one wants to lug around material at any kind of event, and this stuff usually winds up in the nearest garbage can.

Immediately, the next morning at the latest, deliver what you promised. If you're providing the other parties as a resource to someone else, then copy them on the e-mail or correspondence, or mention to them that you've given their name to the individuals you had mentioned.

In a week or so, follow up to see if the material was helpful, the reference worked out, the prospects called, etc. Ask if there is anything further along those lines that might be helpful. Then, summarize or reaffirm you offer of further help with a letter accompanied by your promotional material and literature. Suggest to the other person that you thought they might want to learn a little more about you and what you do.

In a few weeks, send still more value in the form of a contact, potential customer, article of interest, etc.

If the other party replies with a "thank you" for your latest offer of value, then get back to them and suggest a brief meeting, breakfast, lunch, or other opportunity to get together at their convenience. Simply say that you'd like to learn more about what they do and also get their advice about what you do. If they have not responded with a "thank you" of any kind, then wait one more week, call to see if they received the additional value you send, and then suggest the meeting as described above. (Their active response simply enables you to shorten the waiting time.)

Ask for referrals. Contrary to what you might think, the best time to get referrals is during the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship, when you are getting to know and like each other. Don't make the mistake of waiting until you have "proven" yourself to ask for referrals.

Networking is not about "how to work a room," but rather about how to establish your value with others.

Networking is an art, and like any artist, you need to constantly practice, refine and critique your work. Networking makes a huge contribution to your life and career, and it's a skill that anyone can acquire.