Feeling the Positive Opposite
Feeling the Positive Opposite
I work with clients who get themselves into a variety of situations that evoke negative feelings. When I ask them how they feel, they answer with the name of one of many possible not-good feelings. When I ask how they want to feel, they usually give an answer that is what you might think of as the exact opposite of the not-good feeling; and if not exactly the opposite, close to it.
To illustrate this: if the not-good feeling is "confused," the good feeling is likely to be "clear"; if the not-good feeling is "sad," the good feeling is usually "happy"; if the not-good feeling is "trapped," the good feeling is usually "free"; if the not-good feeling is "stressful," the good feeling is likely to be "peaceful" or "relaxed" or "calm." And on and on, so that the feeling chosen to identify the positive opposite is close to the meaning of the opposite of the not-wanted feeling.
When I am guiding a client to find the positive opposite of a feeling, I am certainly not looking for a dictionary-approved antonym. The chosen word matters very little; what matters is how it feels. My intention with this empowering practice, first and foremost, is to help the client to recognize the not-good feeling and be accepting of it. This is the starting place. The next part of the practice is to help the client to identify a place to move from the not-wanted feeling to the wanted feeling. I'm a guide in this process, so I am not trying to direct a person to a place of my choosing. I ask for an articulation of the wanted feeling so that we both know where the person desires to move, which allows me to provide greater assistance.
Similar to the friend I mentioned above, I am one who chooses the same wanted good feeling to essentially every not-good feeling I feel. My positive opposite is "happy." Sometimes I answer a different feeling, but the feeling I most want to feel is happy. This is a happiness that comes from inside me, which has little to do with anything external. After much practice with this positive opposite process, I can usually move from any not-good feeling to happiness in a matter of seconds. Not always, but usually.
What is a not-good feeling that you often encounter, and what, for you, is its positive opposite? As you view certain situations in your life, can you feel when your feelings change?
Feeling the Positive Opposite - To learn more about this author, visit Jeanie Marshall's Website.
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I have a friend who often gets herself into various situations that are troublesome to her. When I ask her how she feels when she is giving her attention to the particular situation, she gives me one of a number of possible negative feelings. When I ask her how she wants to feel, she always answers with the same feeling: "free."
I work with clients who get themselves into a variety of situations that evoke negative feelings. When I ask them how they feel, they answer with the name of one of many possible not-good feelings. When I ask how they want to feel, they usually give an answer that is what you might think of as the exact opposite of the not-good feeling; and if not exactly the opposite, close to it.
To illustrate this: if the not-good feeling is "confused," the good feeling is likely to be "clear"; if the not-good feeling is "sad," the good feeling is usually "happy"; if the not-good feeling is "trapped," the good feeling is usually "free"; if the not-good feeling is "stressful," the good feeling is likely to be "peaceful" or "relaxed" or "calm." And on and on, so that the feeling chosen to identify the positive opposite is close to the meaning of the opposite of the not-wanted feeling.
When I am guiding a client to find the positive opposite of a feeling, I am certainly not looking for a dictionary-approved antonym. The chosen word matters very little; what matters is how it feels. My intention with this empowering practice, first and foremost, is to help the client to recognize the not-good feeling and be accepting of it. This is the starting place. The next part of the practice is to help the client to identify a place to move from the not-wanted feeling to the wanted feeling. I'm a guide in this process, so I am not trying to direct a person to a place of my choosing. I ask for an articulation of the wanted feeling so that we both know where the person desires to move, which allows me to provide greater assistance.
Similar to the friend I mentioned above, I am one who chooses the same wanted good feeling to essentially every not-good feeling I feel. My positive opposite is "happy." Sometimes I answer a different feeling, but the feeling I most want to feel is happy. This is a happiness that comes from inside me, which has little to do with anything external. After much practice with this positive opposite process, I can usually move from any not-good feeling to happiness in a matter of seconds. Not always, but usually.
What is a not-good feeling that you often encounter, and what, for you, is its positive opposite? As you view certain situations in your life, can you feel when your feelings change?
Feeling the Positive Opposite - To learn more about this author, visit Jeanie Marshall's Website.
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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