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Feeling the Positive Opposite

Written by: Jeanie Marshall

Article Overview: Do you ever feel a feeling you do not like to feel? This empowering practice encourages you to identify a not-good feeling and then identify its positive opposite. The positive opposite feeling is a place to move when feeling a not-wanted feeling.

Feeling the Positive Opposite

I have a friend who often gets herself into various situations that are troublesome to her. When I ask her how she feels when she is giving her attention to the particular situation, she gives me one of a number of possible negative feelings. When I ask her how she wants to feel, she always answers with the same feeling: "free."

I work with clients who get themselves into a variety of situations that evoke negative feelings. When I ask them how they feel, they answer with the name of one of many possible not-good feelings. When I ask how they want to feel, they usually give an answer that is what you might think of as the exact opposite of the not-good feeling; and if not exactly the opposite, close to it.

To illustrate this: if the not-good feeling is "confused," the good feeling is likely to be "clear"; if the not-good feeling is "sad," the good feeling is usually "happy"; if the not-good feeling is "trapped," the good feeling is usually "free"; if the not-good feeling is "stressful," the good feeling is likely to be "peaceful" or "relaxed" or "calm." And on and on, so that the feeling chosen to identify the positive opposite is close to the meaning of the opposite of the not-wanted feeling.

When I am guiding a client to find the positive opposite of a feeling, I am certainly not looking for a dictionary-approved antonym. The chosen word matters very little; what matters is how it feels. My intention with this empowering practice, first and foremost, is to help the client to recognize the not-good feeling and be accepting of it. This is the starting place. The next part of the practice is to help the client to identify a place to move from the not-wanted feeling to the wanted feeling. I'm a guide in this process, so I am not trying to direct a person to a place of my choosing. I ask for an articulation of the wanted feeling so that we both know where the person desires to move, which allows me to provide greater assistance.

Similar to the friend I mentioned above, I am one who chooses the same wanted good feeling to essentially every not-good feeling I feel. My positive opposite is "happy." Sometimes I answer a different feeling, but the feeling I most want to feel is happy. This is a happiness that comes from inside me, which has little to do with anything external. After much practice with this positive opposite process, I can usually move from any not-good feeling to happiness in a matter of seconds. Not always, but usually.

What is a not-good feeling that you often encounter, and what, for you, is its positive opposite? As you view certain situations in your life, can you feel when your feelings change?

Related Articles
  Keep Calm and Carry On
  Law of Attraction: The Importance of Feeling Good
  The Powers of a Positive Attitude
  Flip the Feeling!
  Chill Out guide to positive thinking

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