In my view, each day is an opportunity to make life anew. I often help people to create something new when I hear a story repeated again and again.
Even if I'm hearing a story for the first time, I can feel the resonance of an oft-repeated saga. I know as I hear or see the needle move along the groove of the recording. Truthfully, whether this is a wonderful story or a not-wonderful story, I can feel or hear or see the pattern. My awareness is heightened when the oft-repeated story recounts a situation the person doesn't wish to recreate.
Now, let me quickly say that I've experienced some incredibly engaging story tellers who don't bore me with their repeated stories. When the story teller is engaged with the creation of the story and sees it as new, the listener is more easily engaged. The master story teller lives a story as if it is being told for the very first time, created right now in this moment. Sometimes the master story teller plays with the listener or listeners in a magical in-the-moment way. Not all story telling is the same.
Perhaps it's risky to go on record saying that I am bored by the repetition of a story. Clients who work with me in one-on-one sessions know that I don't encourage their telling disempowering stories. Sometimes they just need to tell it one more time to someone who's able to listen deeply.
When a caring person listens deeply to a disempowering story, the pain can dissipate for the speaker. When I say "listens deeply" I refer to a skill that's rarely practiced. I mean that the listener is truly with the speaker, not sympathizing and not being reminded of another, similar situation. And certainly not giving advice or telling his or her own story! I mean the deep listener listens attentively in as many ways as possible, fully present, fully in the moment.
When the deep listener gets sucked into the drama, listening is no longer happening. The listener now colludes in creating more of the same rather than in helping the person to accept that life is created anew in each moment. The future is created by the present.
Whatever you give your attention to expands. Your focus of attention is your key to happiness. You may forget this dynamic from time to time. That's one of the values of having a listener who cares enough to interrupt a destructive pattern. You argue for limitations when you try to prove how "bad it is" by retelling a disempowering story. It's a pattern worthy of interrupting.
It's the rut-producing story-telling which creates more unwanted situations that inspires me to say: "Stop! Make it new!" Or, "Can you say that in a way you've not said that before?"
Every single moment of your life represents an opportunity for a new beginning. Every in-breath begins life anew; every out-breath releases the past. Every minute you're different from the minute before, with new cells, new energy, new life. Future experiences are not created by past experience, but by your current thoughts and feelings about those experiences.
To learn more about this author, visit Jeanie Marshall's Website.
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Jeanie Marshall
(Visit Jeanie's Website)
Jeanie has an M. S. in Human Resource
Development concentrating in Organization
Development. She consults by phone in the
areas of personal empowerment and
organization development. As an
Empowerment Consultant and Coach, Jeanie
helps people to find the power within
themselves. She uses traditional resources
and innovative approaches to help her
clients move from where they are to where
they want to be.
One of her greatest gifts as a consultant
and coach is to hold the vision of her
clients' true desires until they're able
to step into the vision. Her consultation
sessions are playful, inspiring, and
transformative. She says, "the most joyous
part of my professional life is working
one-on-one with clients, which is a
partnership of co-creative, empowering
ideas."
She's the author of multiple books, blogs,
web sites, and CD albums. She has been
actively involved in the human potential
movement and organizational development
for more than twenty years. She is a
mentor, coach, facilitator, organizational
development consultant, personal
development consultant, and a writer.
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