The focus of your attention determines your life experiences. Where you put your attention, you put your energy. Where you put your attention, you put your consciousness. You draw into your life the things to which you give your attention, whether you want them or not. You seed the thing or idea that has your attention. That seed grows into the experiences of everyday life. If you have put your attention mainly on happy things, you will lead a mostly happy life; if you have put your attention mainly on unhappy things, you will lead a mostly unhappy life.
Light and Dark; Positive and Negative
There is a light side and a dark side in every part of life. Or you might say that everything has both a positive and a negative side or aspect. Without the light and the dark (or positive and negative), life could not exist as you know it, just as you could not see images in a photograph without light and dark qualities. It is your personal choice whether you focus on either the positive or the negative. You can choose to see and expand the darkness or the lightness of each situation, each relationship, each moment. You can choose to focus on the negative or the positive in each person — both exist.
You can choose to illuminate the bad or the good in every situation. It is an individual choice, constantly evoked by your focus of attention. A little flaw becomes a big one as you talk about it. The flaw gains greater momentum with each telling, drawing to you others who are fascinated by the flaw. As the fascination grows, you see the same or similar flaws in others. So, too, a good point becomes an enormous asset as you focus on it and give it attention through your observations, thoughts, and conversations.
Attention: A Matter of Choice
Every decision is a choice. Where you put your attention constantly changes and creates your life. Your attention steers your path and directs your thoughts. Sometimes it appears that you do not have a choice about where you place your attention, but that is because of habit or familiarity. Sometimes you need a reminder. I remind you and encourage you to remind yourself and others: "you have a choice." Choose to place your attention on what you want. Give your attention to what you appreciate. Fill your thoughts with what you want to expand. View your world through the same eyes of the person you want to be.
One of my regular clients — an organization consultant — called me, frustrated and angry about the overwhelming number of demands on his time. Six projects were due in the same week. I allowed him a few minutes of panicky explanations. Then I asked him to take a few deep breaths and assisted him to become centered. I knew in his accelerated frenetic state the only way for him to complete all his responsibilities on time was to slow down. We breathed together. As he focused on his breathing, he released his panic and resistance. We joined our consciousness to create a solution rather than to empower the crisis.
As soon as he was out of the crisis mode and emitting a smoother vibration, he was able to see clearly his path out of the mess. As he gave his full attention to the clarity he was seeking, he energized clear thinking. He knew what to do. I offered several suggestions related to order, sequence, delegation, and self-care strategies. However, he freed himself from the panic when he gave his full attention to calming himself down by turning inside himself to become centered and clear.
He refocused his attention from the outer to the inner, which lifted his mood, changed the way he was resonating, and strengthened him to respond more effectively to his current situation. He called me two days later to report that he completed five of his projects on time and got a three-day extension on the sixth one, with no inconvenience to his client.
Attention Expands the Thing
The thing which has your attention grows and attracts additional similar experiences. The thing grows in your awareness and in your reality. The resonance of your energy field harmonizes with the resonance of the focus of your attention.
When I was in my early twenties, I purchased my first car. Before I decided to buy a car, I was aware that there were Fords and Chevrolets and Chryslers and Saabs and a few other makes and models. My knowledge was general and shallow; my interest was mild. A car provided transportation.
I considered that I would buy a Chevrolet. Suddenly, I could see Chevrolets everywhere! Based on what I saw, I identified what I wanted and what I did not want. Cars — most specifically Chevrolets — had my attention. I was resonating with Chevrolets and they came out to meet me on the road.
Many times since then, I experienced this phenomenon in even more profound ways. That is, I am unaware or only generally aware of a thing, then I become aware, and then I notice aspects of the thing that were unavailable to me before. Or I notice that the thing has many nuances I had not considered. When I began to apply this realization to other parts of my life, I began to recognize that manifestation is a direct result of the focus of my attention. Before that, I believed that life was a series of random occurrences.
When I give my attention to the light or positive side of a thing, it becomes more a part of my world. When I give my attention to the negative or lack of that thing, the negative or lack becomes part of my world. My attention is an act of creation. My attention creates and attracts my experiences.
Right or Wrong; Good or Bad
Many people debate the classic question: "Is there an absolute right and wrong?" Or, "Is there an absolute good and bad?" However, I think it is more empowering to rephrase the question: "Is my attention on what makes me feel good or what makes me feel bad?" Or, "Is this right or wrong for me right now?" Since both sides of every duality exist for every part of life, you make a choice as you are faced with each part of life, hundreds of times a day. The variety helps you to choose.
Keep in mind that you exchange energy with the thing or idea that has your attention. If your attention is on what is right or good, or what you consider is right or good, or what feels right or good, you energize that. So too, if your attention is on what is wrong or bad, or what you consider is wrong or bad, or what feels wrong or bad, you energize that. The thing or aspect to which you give your attention expands. Its resonance and essence expand in your energy field. Where is your attention?
Appreciating the Whole Thing
A long-time client reported a significant experience as a result of discussing this concept. She had repeatedly been reprimanded by her boss, which had led to an uncomfortable dynamic in their relationship. She described several things he had done and said the day before. Ordinarily, she would have reacted negatively to him, possibly creating an argument.
This time, she decided not to dissect the events by calling them right or wrong, good or bad. She made a choice to give her attention to the whole. She said, "I just appreciated the whole thing." She stepped back and appreciated the experience. Wholeness and appreciation had her attention.
Wow! What a profound shift she had made: she moved her attention away from the fragmented parts she had judged negatively and moved her attention to the whole, without judgment. Her shift created good feelings in her, which she named "appreciation." Stepping from specific aspects that are annoying to a more general idea or broader view often assists in experiencing a good or positive feeling.
You can open your consciousness greatly by simply appreciating an experience. To this I apply the current cliche "being in the flow." To me, "being in the flow" is more than a mere excuse for doing or not doing something. I mean that life is flowing, energy is moving, and you are empowered. You have given your attention to the whole. Where is your attention?
Where is Your Attention?
Identify a specific event or condition that has challenged you this week. With that situation in mind, ask yourself, "Where is/was my attention?" Is that place or thing or idea worthy of your attention? You have a choice.
Is your attention on the inner or the outer? On the seen or the unseen? On the good or the bad? On what is right or what is wrong? On the frustration or the opportunity? On worry or joy? On satisfaction or lack of satisfaction? On what you desire or the lack of it? On the light or the dark side? You have a choice. What do you want to seed with your attention?
Be gentle with yourself as you answer these questions. If you do not like your answer, laugh at yourself with loving appreciation and make a new choice. Where is your attention?
Copyright © 2006 Marshall House, http://www.mhmail.com. Jeanie Marshall, Empowerment Consultant and Coach with Marshall House writes extensively on subjects related to personal development and empowerment. Discover her guided meditations at the Voice of Jeanie Marshall, http://www.jmvoice.com
Your Focus of Attention is Your Key to Happiness - To learn more about this author, visit Jeanie Marshall's Website.
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Jeanie Marshall
(Visit Jeanie's Website)
Jeanie has an M. S. in Human Resource
Development concentrating in Organization
Development. She consults by phone in the
areas of personal empowerment and
organization development. As an
Empowerment Consultant and Coach, Jeanie
helps people to find the power within
themselves. She uses traditional resources
and innovative approaches to help her
clients move from where they are to where
they want to be.
One of her greatest gifts as a consultant
and coach is to hold the vision of her
clients' true desires until they're able
to step into the vision. Her consultation
sessions are playful, inspiring, and
transformative. She says, "the most joyous
part of my professional life is working
one-on-one with clients, which is a
partnership of co-creative, empowering
ideas."
She's the author of multiple books, blogs,
web sites, and CD albums. She has been
actively involved in the human potential
movement and organizational development
for more than twenty years. She is a
mentor, coach, facilitator, organizational
development consultant, personal
development consultant, and a writer.
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