Listening is rarely if ever taught in schools because educators (along with almost everyone else) assume listening is automatic - it’s like breathing. But effective listening is a skill, which like any other skill is achieved through learning and practice.
Listening takes time or, more accurately, you have to take time to listen. Listening requires the temporary suspension of all unrelated thoughts. In order to become an effective listener, you have to learn to manage what goes on in your own mind. You must in fact learn to listen, so you can listen and learn.
Ten Steps to Effective Listening 1. Listen to learn 2. Face the speaker and maintain eye contact and be attentive.
3. Truly listen to the speaker’s words and try to picture what he/she is saying.
4. Keep an open mind.
5. Don't interrupt.
6. Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions.
7. Ask questions only to ensure understanding of something that has been said.
8. Try to walk in the speakers shoes and feel what the speaker is feeling.
9. Give the speaker regular feedback by showing your interest.
Step Ten - Listen to learn!
This is the most important step of all!
Listening helps build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding, resolve conflicts, and improve accuracy. At work, effective listening means fewer errors and less wasted time. At home, it helps develop resourceful, self-reliant kids who can solve their own problems. Listening builds friendships and careers. It saves money and marriages.
A good mantra to take is found in the words "Where ever you are - be there." It is very easy to get into the mode of multitasking and not taking the time to listen. When at the supper table, be there, not at work. When at work, be there, not at home or on the golf course. When someone is speaking with you a home or at work, be fully engaged in the process. Listen to learn! You will become more effective in your relationships and your career.
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Roger M. Ingbretsen, Author, Speaker, Leadership Coach, Organizational and career developer For more information, visit www.ingbretsen.com or call 509 999 7008.
The Art of Effective Listening - To learn more about this author, visit Roger Ingbretsen's Website.
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