New Eyes Transform Results
New Eyes Transform Results
One of the impacts of the injury was a partial paralysis on the right side of her body. Over time and through a LOT of hard work on her part, she was able to minimize the impact this had on her. In her right hand, all that remained was a slight loss of dexterity.
This change in dexterity affected how she loaded the dishwasher (of all things). It was a challenge to slip the dishes smoothly into their slots. Often they would clang and clink quite loudly. Sometimes I’d be in the other room listening and flinching as each collision occurred.
It didn’t take long before many of our dishes were chipped.
At that time we were just starting out financially. My career was young, we’d just got married, and money was tight. The idea of spending more money on dishes (in the face of all our other expenses) didn’t appeal.
Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I had grown a little resentful at our “dishes situation.” Each time I’d use a dish that had a chip in it, I’d get that tight little “groan“feeling in my stomach.
One morning April was out and I was alone, making breakfast. I picked a chipped bowl out of the cupboard and poured my cereal and milk in it. The house was quiet. I stood in silence with my thoughts as I ate my cereal and looked at the chip.
The familiar feeling of frustration and negative chatter started to emerge when I stopped and realized…
These chips weren’t about April being clumsy and not caring about the dishes (or the money to replace them).
In actuality, perhaps she WAS trying to be a productive, contributing member of our family. She wasn’t going to sit around, NOT do anything and let her circumstances rule HER. Darn it, she was doing her best to help out with the chores DESPITE her situation.
Somewhere along the line, I’d unknowingly come to the conclusion she just didn’t care and was behaving like that was the truth. It wasn’t!
In the blink of an eye, the chipped dishes meant something COMPLETELY different to me. They shifted from “clumsiness and lack of care” to “courage and determination to contribute.”
Guess what? Ten years later, we still have our chipped dishes.
Why would I replace them?
Fieldwork:
In the above article, my “story” was:
“April doesn’t take care with the dishes.”
I now ask you to consider other questions about YOUR story (or thought) last issue. Ask yourself:
1. “Is this story the absolute truth?” Yes or no. No maybes.
2. “How do I respond to this story?” (Attitudes, feelings, behaviours)
3. “What are those responses costing me?”
4. “What would my life be like if that story didn’t exist?”
In this article, we’re going to turn your story on its head. We’re going to create dramatically different CONTEXT for your “problem.”
5. Take your story and turn it around to its opposite. In essence, create an opposite belief. You may wish to create two or three of them.
For example: “April doesn’t take care with the dishes” could turn into:
a. “April DOES take care with the dishes.”
b. “April actually IS trying her best to contribute to the household.”
c. “April really doesn’t want to chip the dishes either.”
6. Look for real live examples that illustrate the new opposing belief. Be honest with yourself. Take a moment. I bet you’ll find them. For each of the above, some examples that come to mind are:
a. She doesn’t rush when she loads the dishwasher.
b. She hasn’t tried to make the dishwasher loading “Jamie’s job.” She’s definitely not sitting on the couch eating Twinkies while I do housework.
c. April gets really frustrated and down on herself when she chips the dishes.
7. Stop for a moment and really ask yourself: are your new opposing beliefs (in #5 above) just as true or truer than the original story you created? Yes or no.
I bet you answered ‘yes.’ In most, if not all, cases, the opposing belief is just as “provable” as the initial story.
If the old belief is costing you (see your #3 answer) and there is so much more available to you with another belief (your #4 answer), why not choose the new belief?
New Eyes Transform Results - To learn more about this author, visit Jamie Broughton's Website.
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Over 10 years ago now April, my wife, had quite a serious accident. Without getting into the details here, let me just say it was quite a difficult time.
One of the impacts of the injury was a partial paralysis on the right side of her body. Over time and through a LOT of hard work on her part, she was able to minimize the impact this had on her. In her right hand, all that remained was a slight loss of dexterity.
This change in dexterity affected how she loaded the dishwasher (of all things). It was a challenge to slip the dishes smoothly into their slots. Often they would clang and clink quite loudly. Sometimes I’d be in the other room listening and flinching as each collision occurred.
It didn’t take long before many of our dishes were chipped.
At that time we were just starting out financially. My career was young, we’d just got married, and money was tight. The idea of spending more money on dishes (in the face of all our other expenses) didn’t appeal.
Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I had grown a little resentful at our “dishes situation.” Each time I’d use a dish that had a chip in it, I’d get that tight little “groan“feeling in my stomach.
One morning April was out and I was alone, making breakfast. I picked a chipped bowl out of the cupboard and poured my cereal and milk in it. The house was quiet. I stood in silence with my thoughts as I ate my cereal and looked at the chip.
The familiar feeling of frustration and negative chatter started to emerge when I stopped and realized…
These chips weren’t about April being clumsy and not caring about the dishes (or the money to replace them).
In actuality, perhaps she WAS trying to be a productive, contributing member of our family. She wasn’t going to sit around, NOT do anything and let her circumstances rule HER. Darn it, she was doing her best to help out with the chores DESPITE her situation.
Somewhere along the line, I’d unknowingly come to the conclusion she just didn’t care and was behaving like that was the truth. It wasn’t!
In the blink of an eye, the chipped dishes meant something COMPLETELY different to me. They shifted from “clumsiness and lack of care” to “courage and determination to contribute.”
Guess what? Ten years later, we still have our chipped dishes.
Why would I replace them?
Fieldwork:
In the above article, my “story” was:
“April doesn’t take care with the dishes.”
I now ask you to consider other questions about YOUR story (or thought) last issue. Ask yourself:
1. “Is this story the absolute truth?” Yes or no. No maybes.
2. “How do I respond to this story?” (Attitudes, feelings, behaviours)
3. “What are those responses costing me?”
4. “What would my life be like if that story didn’t exist?”
In this article, we’re going to turn your story on its head. We’re going to create dramatically different CONTEXT for your “problem.”
5. Take your story and turn it around to its opposite. In essence, create an opposite belief. You may wish to create two or three of them.
For example: “April doesn’t take care with the dishes” could turn into:
a. “April DOES take care with the dishes.”
b. “April actually IS trying her best to contribute to the household.”
c. “April really doesn’t want to chip the dishes either.”
6. Look for real live examples that illustrate the new opposing belief. Be honest with yourself. Take a moment. I bet you’ll find them. For each of the above, some examples that come to mind are:
a. She doesn’t rush when she loads the dishwasher.
b. She hasn’t tried to make the dishwasher loading “Jamie’s job.” She’s definitely not sitting on the couch eating Twinkies while I do housework.
c. April gets really frustrated and down on herself when she chips the dishes.
7. Stop for a moment and really ask yourself: are your new opposing beliefs (in #5 above) just as true or truer than the original story you created? Yes or no.
I bet you answered ‘yes.’ In most, if not all, cases, the opposing belief is just as “provable” as the initial story.
If the old belief is costing you (see your #3 answer) and there is so much more available to you with another belief (your #4 answer), why not choose the new belief?
New Eyes Transform Results - To learn more about this author, visit Jamie Broughton's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
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