Tweet

Resist the Interpretation Addiction

Written by: Jamie Broughton

Article Overview: Sometimes we adopt a story and unknowingly our emotions get swept up in it. And 99% of the time we don’t really question or inquire into the story we create. We treat our story as what actually happened. The problem, of course, is that the story influences, in part, the action you take in subsequent events. This article is about identifying the stories you may have created, working around them and managing them.

Resist the Interpretation Addiction

“People only see what they are prepared to see.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882) philosopher, poet & lecturer

Imagine you’ve just been promoted to lead a new team of people. After working in the role for a few months, you spot a terrific business opportunity for the team (and the company).

You discuss the idea with your new boss. He thinks it has merit and encourages you to present it to the senior management team (whom you haven’t met before).

The time comes to make your presentation. You enter the room and introduce yourself. No one looks up from their laptops to greet you. You begin your presentation. Some people look up occasionally, but mostly their attention stays with their computers. You complete your presentation. No one says anything. You leave.

A friend calls you that evening. “How’d the big presentation go? What happened?” Take a moment right now and think about it, what would you tell him?

...


So, what would you tell your friend? It could be a variety of things:

“I can’t believe how rude they were.” or
“They completely ignored me. I don’t think I had credibility. I’m just too young,” or
“It was bad timing. They must have had some really important business going on.” or
“I must be such a brutal presenter.”

There would probably be as many variations in responses as there are people reading this. Yet, they would all share some element of “I thought they…” Each commentary would be an interpretation of the event, a “story” about what happened.

If you were to give an account of what happened without interpretation, it would sound something like this:

“I entered the room, said ‘Good morning, my name is X.’ No one looked up from their laptops. I gave my presentation. Some people looked up occasionally, but mostly they looked at their computers. I finished. No one said anything. I left.”

In day-to-day life, it’s rare to see this level of objectivity. The facts of the event and our interpretation of what happened are almost always collapsed and treated as the same thing.

Our interpretation, or story, of the event automatically becomes “what happened.”

“What happened with the presentation,” you ask?

“Well let me tell YOU! I couldn’t believe it, I got all prepared, gave it my all and they didn’t even have the respect to hear me out. They barely acknowledged I was in the room. I think I’m/they’re just too….”

We adopt the story and unknowingly our emotions get swept up in it. And 99% of the time we don’t really question or inquire into the story we create. We treat our story as what actually happened.

The problem, of course, is that the story influences, in part, the action you take in subsequent events, or presentations in this case.

Perhaps:
1. You’d refuse to present to this group again.
2. You’d wait a few years for more grey hairs and “credibility” to show up.
3. You would wear different clothing or sign up for Toastmasters.

Unchecked interpretation can set off a negative cycle: we may respond by limiting our behaviour (I won’t present to the management team), people see your new behaviour, make their own meanings of it (he’s not confident enough etc.), they respond to the new behaviour (fewer invitations to present), then I respond to THEIR response (stop bringing ideas forward etc).

The cycle continues to the point where the original event is long lost in a series of interpretations. Sound familiar?

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t give meaning to events, just that each event in and of itself DOESN’T mean anything. It’s simply good practice to check our stories.

Fieldwork:

Pick an area where you are stuck or resisting action and identify the stories you had created around it.

If you’ve picked something you have a lot of “history” with, chances are your story may be a long one or involve a bunch of stories. For the sake of this exercise, break it down to smaller pieces or separate out the stories.

For example, in the presentation situation above, we may have opinions about the management team AND my ability to present. Separate those stories and address them individually.

You’re looking for a simple sentence that captures the heart of your story. “I’m too young to be credible,” for example.

So, here’s what you want to do:

Write the statement out.
“I’m too young to be credible.”

Answer the following:

1. “Is this story the absolute truth?” Yes or no. No maybes.

2. “How do I respond to this story? (attitudes, feelings, behaviours)

3. “What are those responses costing me?” (negative results caused)

4. “What would my life be like if that story didn’t exist?”

Sit with the questions. Let the costs sink in. Let what a life without this thought, emerge.

Related Articles
  Lessons that Ones Learn at Drug Rehab Center
  DRUG REHABILITATION & SUPPORT FOR ALL: Now A Reality
  Study Links Depression to Heavy Internet Use
  Look for Help from Drug Rehab Centers
  Authentic Capitalism

Article Tags: credibility, element, laptops, lecturer, new boss, objectivity, philosopher, poet, ralph waldo emerson, senior management team, terrific business opportunity, variations



Related Forum Posts
Boosting Confidence - Wow! There has been so much response, it's hard to know where to start responding... I goes to show that confidence is a hot topic! If you’ve ever heard of “Executive’s Disease”, you’ve heard that even the most successful people in business have moments where they feel stressed over something that needs to be done. It sounds so much nicer to call it stress, but stress is strongly linked to FEAR on some level or another. [u:16vd1x1j]We’re all human after all. [/u:16vd1x1j] (Perhaps this is why executives have much higher rates of heart disease. They appear to be 100% confident to everyone else, but they still feel it on some level inside.) Jude, thanks for sharing your journey to great confidence. I can relate to your dog story, by the way. I’m the person my neighbors and friends call when they have a pet problem. When I was working with the Pet Rescue Group, someone called me the Cat Whisperer! :0) I also believe that confidence is tied to self worth and competence. Boosting our self esteem and gaining confidence through experience really does help. The question is, what does a person do to boost her confidence when she comes up against those times where she’s facing big issues that are new to her? For example, if you were going to be on Oprah with millions of people watching you for the very first time, what would you tell yourself to chase away the butterflies that might set in? In a perfect world, we would all be walking around stress free and not have any doubts or fears. However, life is full of challenges, especially as entrepreneurs forging new paths. The key is in finding ways to really boost our courage to forge on when the going gets tricky and unfamiliar. Yes, I believe when we have a strong purpose behind what we do, it gives us confidence to move forward in spite of any misgivings or naysayers. When we add passion to that purpose, we seem unstoppable! It also boosts our confidence to surround ourselves with people who support us in our journey. Of course, we believe we can create a great life and business. They just give us the added benefit when they cheer us on. We are social creatures, after all. I can do well on my own, but I have a coach and am part of a mentor group because I find I accomplish even more with a strong support system. (Coaching isn’t about weakness, it’s about doing everything I can to reach my potential in the best possible way.) Support systems certainly help to keep the scales balanced when we find ourselves around people who don’t understand our vision. We need to lay down very strong boundaries for the people who are not supportive. That’s a whole other discussion. One of our weapons is keeping ourselves convinced of our plan and our purpose, even if someone else is threatened by our success (or plans for success). Sometimes, we can be tempted to make ourselves small around those we love so that it doesn’t cause discord. When we do that, we jeopardize our own integrity and undermine our confidence. This is your life to live and your business to run. It is you who must hold the reigns and you who must succeed at your own life. Let them succeed at their own life. Having said this, I think we must at least examine what they challenge us with to see if there is any truth in what they are saying. The key is in finding out the truth [u:16vd1x1j]before you let it in[/u:16vd1x1j]. Otherwise, something that is simply not true (and may be THEIR issue) could throw you off track. If it is true, you can make the necessary changes and perhaps avoid some huge pitfalls down the road. Beat mentioned the books, Approval Addiction and Battlefield of the Mind. I’ve read quite a bit of them and it’s little wonder they are best sellers because of their subject matter. I’ve heard many people comment on the titles themselves. There’s the old saying, “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.” There’s even a scripture verse on it for those of you who’ve brought that aspect into this thread: “Everything is possible for him who believes.” (Mark 9:23) No wonder true success comes from the inside out. OK, it’s time to stop. I feel like I’ve written a book here! Warm regards, Tami


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Convening a focus group for a niche product

Ways to Improve Your Landing Page Conversions

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.