Shed Your Leadership Identity
Shed Your Leadership Identity
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”
~Woody Allen (1935– ) US comedian, actor.
I was 13 years old when Brian Epp, the school bully, stole MY bicycle.
The bike was a beautiful thing, my pride and joy. It looked like a motorbike. It had shocks at the front AND back, one gear, tires with huge knobbies and the best part was the great long seat I could “double” my friends on.
At 13, I was a scrawny “late bloomer” puberty-wise and Brian was huge. He had already been shaving for a couple of years and took much delight in taunting me on a regular basis.
“Which bike should I steal today?” he bellowed one day walking up and down the rows of locked bikes. I just knew which one he was going to pick.
“Hmmmm maybe THIS one,” he said as he looked at me.
Smiling his evil smile, he kneeled down next to my pride and joy and began cracking the combination lock.
I stood there feeling completely powerless. There was NOTHING I could do. I just PRAYED and PRAYED and PRAYED he wouldn’t figure out the combination.
He did.
The last tumbler “clicked” into place. He grinned at me, popped the lock and in a flash was pedaling around the school yard.
“Please, please, please give me my bike back Brian!” I pleaded gasping for air as I chased him around the yard. Finally, laughing at me, he threw my bike down and strutted away.
At THAT moment I unconsciously decided:
“If I’m ‘nice,’ I’ll get the results I want in life.”
I spent the rest of my life being “nice” and living my life consistent with that. I avoided conflict like the plague. I wouldn’t really speak my mind in awkward situations I certainly wouldn’t want to offend anyone (gag). Asking for real help was difficult for me because “nice people” aren’t a burden (gag again).
The decision of a 13-year old formed the foundation of my identity for life.
Fieldwork:
Our identity is usually formed and adopted when we’re younger in response to an event or experience that didn’t turn out the way it “should” have. The identity gets reinforced over and over again because it produces results for us.
Being “nice” got me my bike back. It got me jobs when I interviewed. It allowed me to become very skilled at building relationships.
So what’s wrong with identities if they’re producing good results?
The problem with our identity is three-fold:
1. Our identity isn’t “who we are.” It’s merely who we have grown to IDENTIFY OURSELVES WITH based on PAST experience(s) - how we viewed the experiences and our relationship to them.
2. The identity severely limits what IS possible in who you can be and do. If you’re really “up to something” big in your life, it’s only a matter of time before your identity gets in the way.
3. The identity is slimy. It has IT’s interests in mind, not YOURS. It wants to protect its own existence. It’s your identity that chatters away in your head saying things like “you can’t do X” or “it’ll never work out” or “I’m too Y to have it work…”
If you continually listen to your identity, you’ll always sell your potential short.
Mini Exercise:
1. Take a look at your life, particularly the memorable and unfavorable experiences earlier in life.
2. What memories stand out in your mind as significant (the younger you are the better)?
3. Consider you made a decision about yourself about what’s possible as a result of that experience.
4. What decisions do you see you could have made?
5. How have those decisions shown up in your life since?
Shed Your Leadership Identity - To learn more about this author, visit Jamie Broughton's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”
~Woody Allen (1935– ) US comedian, actor.
I was 13 years old when Brian Epp, the school bully, stole MY bicycle.
The bike was a beautiful thing, my pride and joy. It looked like a motorbike. It had shocks at the front AND back, one gear, tires with huge knobbies and the best part was the great long seat I could “double” my friends on.
At 13, I was a scrawny “late bloomer” puberty-wise and Brian was huge. He had already been shaving for a couple of years and took much delight in taunting me on a regular basis.
“Which bike should I steal today?” he bellowed one day walking up and down the rows of locked bikes. I just knew which one he was going to pick.
“Hmmmm maybe THIS one,” he said as he looked at me.
Smiling his evil smile, he kneeled down next to my pride and joy and began cracking the combination lock.
I stood there feeling completely powerless. There was NOTHING I could do. I just PRAYED and PRAYED and PRAYED he wouldn’t figure out the combination.
He did.
The last tumbler “clicked” into place. He grinned at me, popped the lock and in a flash was pedaling around the school yard.
“Please, please, please give me my bike back Brian!” I pleaded gasping for air as I chased him around the yard. Finally, laughing at me, he threw my bike down and strutted away.
At THAT moment I unconsciously decided:
“If I’m ‘nice,’ I’ll get the results I want in life.”
I spent the rest of my life being “nice” and living my life consistent with that. I avoided conflict like the plague. I wouldn’t really speak my mind in awkward situations I certainly wouldn’t want to offend anyone (gag). Asking for real help was difficult for me because “nice people” aren’t a burden (gag again).
The decision of a 13-year old formed the foundation of my identity for life.
Fieldwork:
Our identity is usually formed and adopted when we’re younger in response to an event or experience that didn’t turn out the way it “should” have. The identity gets reinforced over and over again because it produces results for us.
Being “nice” got me my bike back. It got me jobs when I interviewed. It allowed me to become very skilled at building relationships.
So what’s wrong with identities if they’re producing good results?
The problem with our identity is three-fold:
1. Our identity isn’t “who we are.” It’s merely who we have grown to IDENTIFY OURSELVES WITH based on PAST experience(s) - how we viewed the experiences and our relationship to them.
2. The identity severely limits what IS possible in who you can be and do. If you’re really “up to something” big in your life, it’s only a matter of time before your identity gets in the way.
3. The identity is slimy. It has IT’s interests in mind, not YOURS. It wants to protect its own existence. It’s your identity that chatters away in your head saying things like “you can’t do X” or “it’ll never work out” or “I’m too Y to have it work…”
If you continually listen to your identity, you’ll always sell your potential short.
Mini Exercise:
1. Take a look at your life, particularly the memorable and unfavorable experiences earlier in life.
2. What memories stand out in your mind as significant (the younger you are the better)?
3. Consider you made a decision about yourself about what’s possible as a result of that experience.
4. What decisions do you see you could have made?
5. How have those decisions shown up in your life since?
Shed Your Leadership Identity - To learn more about this author, visit Jamie Broughton's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
 | |
 |
No article feedback found. |
| |
Leave Your Feedback |
 | |
| |||
Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team culture consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. Dianne's contribution to the 2010 Pfeiffer Consulting Journal (an imprint of John Wiley and Sons Publishers) entitled TIGERS Hearted Teams is available in November 2009. Her new book TIGERS Among Us: 5 Winning Business Team Cultures And Why, Three Creeks Publishing will release in March 2010. To receive publishing discounts, subscribe to the free TigerTracks Newsletter here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
|||
|
To learn more about the Evan Elite Author Program please contact us. | |||
 | |
|  |
Subscribe to Jamie's articles
 | |
|
|  |
 | |
|
| |
 | |||||||
|
 | ||
 |
||
 |
||
 |
||
|
| ||
 |
| Have you written articles that would be of value to entrepreneurs? Become an expert on our site by publishing them! Expose yourself to a wide audience, drive more traffic to your website and get more sales! Click Here for details. |
|
|
 |
| Modeling the Masters: Learn the true secrets behind Walt Disney's business success factors & grow your company! Video produced by Phanta Media |
|
|
 |
"Learn straight from Evan how you can Make a Full Time Income (And More) from a Website"
Click Here To Learn More |
|
|
|
|
Get advice & tips from famous business owners, new articles by entrepreneur experts, my latest website updates, & special sneak peaks at what's to come!
|
|
|
 Lifestyle and Leadership Goal Setting Woman business success Attract Desired Careers Why New Businesses Fail |
|
 | ||
 |
Top 50 Social Media Blogs
Top 50 Social Media Blogs | |
 |
The Top 10 GTD Times Posts
Best Posts for Productivity | |
| ||
 | ||||
| ||||
|
| ||||
| ||||
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||
|
Email us your ideas on how to make our website more valuable! Thank you Sharon from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for your suggestions to make the newsletter look like the website and profile younger entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez and Sean Combs!
|
|
|
