The Quickest Route to Success and Happiness
The Quickest Route to Success and Happiness
Cheryl Crow, Song Title “Soak up the Sun”
Recently a good friend of ours, Sue, came by for a visit. She brought with her two students she was hosting through the Canada World Youth Exchange Program – Gavin from Victoria, British Columbia, and Benali from Tanzania. Both teens were very nice, yet I was struck by the massive contrast between the two.
By fluke, Benali experienced his first taste of snow while he visiting our place! He was captivated!
Sue relayed a story: At one point in the teens stay Sue was going to the grocery store for the weekly shop. She asked them what type of bread they preferred.
Gavin’s response: “Asiago cheese and rosemary bread.”
Sounds yummy doesn’t it? Yet, can you imagine what Benali thought of this question? Most of his life, the Tanzanian boy has eaten little more than corn, rice and antelope. A choice of bread would have been a luxury.
I think this situation is an interesting reflection of our lives in North America. If you were to chat with a typical kid from Victoria (or an adult elsewhere in N.A. for that matter) about how fortunate he is to be able to choose the kind of bread he eats, it’d be like talking to a fish about water – he likely wouldn’t have a clue what you’re talking about.
Wealth and abundance surround us here. Our experience of prosperity is also relative to the people in our immediate lives. Without meaningful context, it’s natural to compare ourselves to our colleagues, our friends, our neighbors rather than the rest of the world. We can forget what we have to begin with. That “forgetting” lures us closer to the all-consuming “success trap”.
The Success Trap says: “when X happens (or I make it happen), THEN I can be happy or successful”.
In other words, when I get enough money, friends, time etc then it’ll be ok. That’s when I can relax. That’s when I will be satisfied, successful, and happy. Oh, and by the way, I’d like whatever I say I want, quickly. In fact, “yesterday” would be just super. Snap snap, lets go! [Hint: If this article title appealed to you, you may be in the “success trap”].
We make our experience of the world conditional on certain result.
Of course there’s nothing wrong with having or wanting more money, friends or even asiago cheese bread! And hey, it can feel great to reach the goal (who doesn’t like that). The problem of course is those feelings of elation are short lived, yet the road to them is often much, much longer.
In our efforts to “get there” it’s common to feel a “lack of” because we haven’t arrived YET. Our ‘lack of’ responses may vary from beating ourselves up (I should be there by now, darn it etc); to becoming overly driven (I’ll prove I can do it, darn it!). Many of these are limiting, unsustainable or not really a whole heck of a lot of fun (darn it!).
The quickest route to long-term happiness doesn’t involve doing or getting anything! It starts with choosing to be happy, then accepting and appreciating what you’ve got NOW.
From this place, you’re much more likely to enjoy the journey and reach your goals along the way.
And who knows? If you don’t already, perhaps it’ll involve actually starting to love snow.
Coaching Fieldwork:
Take inventory of your situation or life right now.
1. Ask yourself: what am I grateful for in my life now? What would be on your ‘success list’? Nothing fancy, just bullet a list.
2. Ask yourself: what am I NOT grateful for in my life now? Write it down
3. About #3, then ask yourself: how might I be grateful for it anyway? Everything has a silver lining, if you believe it does.
P.S. Want to make appreciation a daily practice? Consider having your family members share their “appreciation of the day” at dinner.
The Quickest Route to Success and Happiness - To learn more about this author, visit Jamie Broughton's Website.
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“…it’s not having what you want, but wanting what you have.”
Cheryl Crow, Song Title “Soak up the Sun”
Recently a good friend of ours, Sue, came by for a visit. She brought with her two students she was hosting through the Canada World Youth Exchange Program – Gavin from Victoria, British Columbia, and Benali from Tanzania. Both teens were very nice, yet I was struck by the massive contrast between the two.
By fluke, Benali experienced his first taste of snow while he visiting our place! He was captivated!
Sue relayed a story: At one point in the teens stay Sue was going to the grocery store for the weekly shop. She asked them what type of bread they preferred.
Gavin’s response: “Asiago cheese and rosemary bread.”
Sounds yummy doesn’t it? Yet, can you imagine what Benali thought of this question? Most of his life, the Tanzanian boy has eaten little more than corn, rice and antelope. A choice of bread would have been a luxury.
I think this situation is an interesting reflection of our lives in North America. If you were to chat with a typical kid from Victoria (or an adult elsewhere in N.A. for that matter) about how fortunate he is to be able to choose the kind of bread he eats, it’d be like talking to a fish about water – he likely wouldn’t have a clue what you’re talking about.
Wealth and abundance surround us here. Our experience of prosperity is also relative to the people in our immediate lives. Without meaningful context, it’s natural to compare ourselves to our colleagues, our friends, our neighbors rather than the rest of the world. We can forget what we have to begin with. That “forgetting” lures us closer to the all-consuming “success trap”.
The Success Trap says: “when X happens (or I make it happen), THEN I can be happy or successful”.
In other words, when I get enough money, friends, time etc then it’ll be ok. That’s when I can relax. That’s when I will be satisfied, successful, and happy. Oh, and by the way, I’d like whatever I say I want, quickly. In fact, “yesterday” would be just super. Snap snap, lets go! [Hint: If this article title appealed to you, you may be in the “success trap”].
We make our experience of the world conditional on certain result.
Of course there’s nothing wrong with having or wanting more money, friends or even asiago cheese bread! And hey, it can feel great to reach the goal (who doesn’t like that). The problem of course is those feelings of elation are short lived, yet the road to them is often much, much longer.
In our efforts to “get there” it’s common to feel a “lack of” because we haven’t arrived YET. Our ‘lack of’ responses may vary from beating ourselves up (I should be there by now, darn it etc); to becoming overly driven (I’ll prove I can do it, darn it!). Many of these are limiting, unsustainable or not really a whole heck of a lot of fun (darn it!).
The quickest route to long-term happiness doesn’t involve doing or getting anything! It starts with choosing to be happy, then accepting and appreciating what you’ve got NOW.
From this place, you’re much more likely to enjoy the journey and reach your goals along the way.
And who knows? If you don’t already, perhaps it’ll involve actually starting to love snow.
Coaching Fieldwork:
Take inventory of your situation or life right now.
1. Ask yourself: what am I grateful for in my life now? What would be on your ‘success list’? Nothing fancy, just bullet a list.
2. Ask yourself: what am I NOT grateful for in my life now? Write it down
3. About #3, then ask yourself: how might I be grateful for it anyway? Everything has a silver lining, if you believe it does.
P.S. Want to make appreciation a daily practice? Consider having your family members share their “appreciation of the day” at dinner.
The Quickest Route to Success and Happiness - To learn more about this author, visit Jamie Broughton's Website.
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Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team culture consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. Dianne's contribution to the 2010 Pfeiffer Consulting Journal (an imprint of John Wiley and Sons Publishers) entitled TIGERS Hearted Teams is available in November 2009. Her new book TIGERS Among Us: 5 Winning Business Team Cultures And Why, Three Creeks Publishing will release in March 2010. To receive publishing discounts, subscribe to the free TigerTracks Newsletter here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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