Love and leadership the love that dare not speak its name
Love and leadership the love that dare not speak its name
“…Whether it is better to be loved or feared? The answer is that one would like to be both; but because it is difficult to combine them, it is far better to be feared than loved.” – Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince
“It might sound slightly bizarre,” says Ken Blanchard, co-author of The One Minute Manager, “but one of the key beliefs for effective leadership is to be madly in love with all the people you are leading.” Well, you are right Ken. It does sound slightly bizarre. For many managers, leadership is the love that dare not speak its name.
Having said that, a surprising number of hard-nosed leaders are unafraid to talk about love as being fundamental to leadership. Rudy Giuliani, the former Mayor of New York, tells us there are three keys to leadership:
1. If you are going to lead, be optimistic. If you're not, you're followers can hardly be expected to be.
2. If you don't love people, do something else.
3. Be absolutely clear what you stand for. (1)
A definition would help ease any discomfort you might be feeling. Tim Collins, a career soldier, rose to prominence when an impromptu speech he gave to the Irish regiment he commanded in Iraq ended up in newspapers all over the world. Collins says, like Kelleher, Giuliani and Blanchard, that “to lead effectively, you have to love people”. Collins goes on to explain ‘love’ as knowing and caring about what motivates people and what is important to them, and helping them fulfil those aspirations at work. This, he says, is a foundation of leadership. (2)
Fear constrains behaviour. Love liberates it. So, if all you need is compliance, fear will probably do. But fear freezes initiative, stifles creativity, and provides no incentive to stretch and grow. Love is about wanting and allowing people to be at their best, and engaging with them to help them achieve that. “Love is the selfless promotion of the growth of the other,” is Milton Mayeroff’s definition. (3)
Sharing knowledge, looking after employees’ wellbeing, giving people your time and attention, respecting and acknowledging the contribution of others, all are incontrovertible aspects of good leadership. It only becomes controversial when the ‘L’ word is applied.
Jim Clemmer, a Canadian leadership thinker I admire, gets to the heart of the matter with this insight: "Leadership is emotional. Leadership deals with feelings. Leadership is made up of dreams, inspiration, excitement, desire, pride, care, passion, and love. The areas of our lives where we show the strongest leadership - including our communities, families, organizations, products, services, hobbies, and customers - are where we're most in love." (4)
I think even the most emotionally reserved leader can, at a push, understand the definition of love put forward by Colonel Collins, above. But, being ‘in love’ or even ‘madly in love’ as Clemmer and Blanchard put it, is still a step too far for many managers.
If you include yourself among those who find ‘love’ a hard word to link with ‘leadership’, because ‘love’ is personal, soft, emotional and gets in the way of hard-nosed high performance, then remember this: Herb Kelleher’s Southwest Airlines, the company he declared from the start to be ‘led by love’, whose headquarters is called ‘Love Airfield’ and whose stock market listing is ‘Luv’ is the most profitable airline in US commercial aviation history and its stock market valuation is higher than that of every other US airline put together.
USEFUL CONCEPT: Transformational vs Transactional Leadership: “I ask people all the time, ‘Would you rather be magnificent or ordinary at work?’ Everyone chooses magnificent. I don't get anyone choosing ordinary. And yet, do we regularly get magnificent behaviour at work? No we don’t. I think that's because of the way we treat people.’” In that quote, Ken Blanchard is explaining how a transformational leader works, and that requires love. If you are purely a transactional leader – negotiating performance in return for a material reward – love is not necessary, some would argue. Equally, however, ordinary people are unlikely to be inspired to extraordinary performance levels by transactional leadership alone.
SOURCES & FURTHER READING
(1) Leadership, Rudy Giuliani
(2) My notes from a speech given by Tim Collins at the end of November, 2006.
(3) Love is the Killer App, Tim Sanders
(4) www.clemmer.net
See also: Primal Leadership, Daniel Goleman et al, and Goleman’s other books on Emotional Intelligence.
Article copyright (c) Phil Dourado www.PhilDourado.com
Love and leadership the love that dare not speak its name - To learn more about this author, visit Phil Dourado's Website.
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“I would far rather have a business led by love than by fear”. – Herb Kelleher, Southwest Airlines
“…Whether it is better to be loved or feared? The answer is that one would like to be both; but because it is difficult to combine them, it is far better to be feared than loved.” – Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince
“It might sound slightly bizarre,” says Ken Blanchard, co-author of The One Minute Manager, “but one of the key beliefs for effective leadership is to be madly in love with all the people you are leading.” Well, you are right Ken. It does sound slightly bizarre. For many managers, leadership is the love that dare not speak its name.
Having said that, a surprising number of hard-nosed leaders are unafraid to talk about love as being fundamental to leadership. Rudy Giuliani, the former Mayor of New York, tells us there are three keys to leadership:
1. If you are going to lead, be optimistic. If you're not, you're followers can hardly be expected to be.
2. If you don't love people, do something else.
3. Be absolutely clear what you stand for. (1)
A definition would help ease any discomfort you might be feeling. Tim Collins, a career soldier, rose to prominence when an impromptu speech he gave to the Irish regiment he commanded in Iraq ended up in newspapers all over the world. Collins says, like Kelleher, Giuliani and Blanchard, that “to lead effectively, you have to love people”. Collins goes on to explain ‘love’ as knowing and caring about what motivates people and what is important to them, and helping them fulfil those aspirations at work. This, he says, is a foundation of leadership. (2)
Fear constrains behaviour. Love liberates it. So, if all you need is compliance, fear will probably do. But fear freezes initiative, stifles creativity, and provides no incentive to stretch and grow. Love is about wanting and allowing people to be at their best, and engaging with them to help them achieve that. “Love is the selfless promotion of the growth of the other,” is Milton Mayeroff’s definition. (3)
Sharing knowledge, looking after employees’ wellbeing, giving people your time and attention, respecting and acknowledging the contribution of others, all are incontrovertible aspects of good leadership. It only becomes controversial when the ‘L’ word is applied.
Jim Clemmer, a Canadian leadership thinker I admire, gets to the heart of the matter with this insight: "Leadership is emotional. Leadership deals with feelings. Leadership is made up of dreams, inspiration, excitement, desire, pride, care, passion, and love. The areas of our lives where we show the strongest leadership - including our communities, families, organizations, products, services, hobbies, and customers - are where we're most in love." (4)
I think even the most emotionally reserved leader can, at a push, understand the definition of love put forward by Colonel Collins, above. But, being ‘in love’ or even ‘madly in love’ as Clemmer and Blanchard put it, is still a step too far for many managers.
If you include yourself among those who find ‘love’ a hard word to link with ‘leadership’, because ‘love’ is personal, soft, emotional and gets in the way of hard-nosed high performance, then remember this: Herb Kelleher’s Southwest Airlines, the company he declared from the start to be ‘led by love’, whose headquarters is called ‘Love Airfield’ and whose stock market listing is ‘Luv’ is the most profitable airline in US commercial aviation history and its stock market valuation is higher than that of every other US airline put together.
USEFUL CONCEPT: Transformational vs Transactional Leadership: “I ask people all the time, ‘Would you rather be magnificent or ordinary at work?’ Everyone chooses magnificent. I don't get anyone choosing ordinary. And yet, do we regularly get magnificent behaviour at work? No we don’t. I think that's because of the way we treat people.’” In that quote, Ken Blanchard is explaining how a transformational leader works, and that requires love. If you are purely a transactional leader – negotiating performance in return for a material reward – love is not necessary, some would argue. Equally, however, ordinary people are unlikely to be inspired to extraordinary performance levels by transactional leadership alone.
SOURCES & FURTHER READING
(1) Leadership, Rudy Giuliani
(2) My notes from a speech given by Tim Collins at the end of November, 2006.
(3) Love is the Killer App, Tim Sanders
(4) www.clemmer.net
See also: Primal Leadership, Daniel Goleman et al, and Goleman’s other books on Emotional Intelligence.
Article copyright (c) Phil Dourado www.PhilDourado.com
Love and leadership the love that dare not speak its name - To learn more about this author, visit Phil Dourado's Website.
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Michel NerayMichel Neray has over 25 years of experience as an award-winning copywriter, an Internet pioneer, a tradeshow pitchman and a senior sales and marketing executive. An online pioneer, he was one of the first marketing professionals to embrace the Internet by building websites as early as 1993. In 1994, Michel co-authored a book entitled "The Great Crossover: Personal Confidence in the Age of the Microchip", which made it to Jack Canfield's Achiever's Recommended Reading List. Michel founded Portfolios.com in 1995, the world's first online source directory for creative professionals and one of the first websites based on community generated content. Since creating The Essential Message in 2003, Michel has helped thousands of independent professionals and entrepreneurs as well as growing corporations find a better way to differentiate, position and brand themselves. In 2005, his chapter "Everything Starts With A Conversation" was selected as the lead for the book, "Sales Gurus Speak Out" and re-published in 2008 for 'Awakening The Workplace Volume 3'. He is also a co-author of "In the Company of Leaders" (2008) with 40 top North American leadership experts. - Visit Michel Neray's Website |
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Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
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Dr. John OdaJohn Oda Ph.D NLP is a business peak performance expert, an author, and speaker frequently called upon to provide corporate training, workshops and seminars for many companies in the United States. He is an expert in coaching sales and business professionals in overcoming the behaviors and obstacles that may impede their sales results and affect their bottom line. Since 1995, John has created a speaking bureau such topics, which include: time management, sales training, human diversity, leadership programs and etc. He provides companies with a strategic plan to increase their bottom line by over 25 percent yearly. - Visit Dr. John Oda's Website |
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