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Etiquette and Teen Texting

Guest post by: Aviva Shiff

Article Overview: There seems to be some confusion about our role as parents and educators regarding our children's use of technology. In other words how do we teach technology etiquette to Gen Y-ers who are characterized as "knowing it all" especially when it comes to technology? After all, they aren't called the Net Generation for nothing! Discover the benefits and pitfalls of teen texting and 3 easy rules we can teach our teens to use technology responsibly and respectfully.

Etiquette and Teen Texting

Recently I was interviewed for CHCH news about our role as parents and educators regarding our children’s use of technology. In other words how do we teach technology etiquette to Gen Y-ers who are characterized as “knowing it all” especially when it comes to technology? After all, they aren’t called the Net Generation for nothing!

Let me start by start by saying that yes, most definitely, we as parents and educators have a responsibility to teach our kids how to use technology responsibly and respectfully.

Messaging is probably the most frequently used method of communication among the Net Generation. It’s easy, cheap, simple and portable. Probably the number one reason why it is so popular is that "everyone does it". It is virtually impossible to underestimate the importance of peer acceptance in the pre-teen and teenage years.

There are, however many pitfalls to using messaging for communication.

It is very easy for harmful miscommunication to occur when you don’t have the benefit of facial expressions or tone of voice to help you interpret the intent. A way around that is to only use messaging to communicate unemotional data. It’s a great tool for making plans… not so much for expressing your feelings. Emoticons just don’t cut it.

Messaging can be very addictive. Research conducted at the University of Queensland in Australia determined that text messaging is equivalent in addictiveness to cigarette smoking. It feeds on a person’s need to feel connected.

Constant messaging can be disrespectful to others. Even if everyone does do it, it’s best to keep your extensive texting to when you are alone. Your friend or family member that is physically present may be made to feel less valued than the “virtual friend”. No one likes to be interrupted; it makes him or her feel unimportant.

Lastly, constant interruptions make it harder to focus on present task or live conversations. A 2006 Liberty Mutual Insurance Group study of more than 900 teens from over 26 high schools nation wide reported that 37% of students found texting to be “very” or “extremely” distracting. Even more disturbing is that an AAA nationwide survey of 1000 16 & 17 year old teen drivers revealed that 46% admitted text message while driving.

These pitfalls do not mean that teens should not be texting. On the contrary, here are three easy Rules of Etiquette for Messaging that parents and educators can easily teach the net generation so that they can get enjoy the benefits of texting while avoiding the pitfalls.

3 Easy Etiquette Rules for Texting

1. Establish Family Phone-Free Times.

Protect the time that is most conducive for live communication such as dinner time or time together in the car. No exceptions.

2. Respect the Hierarchy.

There is a hierarchy of communication. The rule of thumb is the greater the number of senses involved in the communication, the more important the interaction. First is in person, then video chat, then telephone and lastly text. If you feel you must attend to the message, ask permission of the one you’re with to respond to your device. Then tell the person on the device that you are in the middle of something, or busy and that you’ll get back to them.

3. Be mindful of what you are modeling.

This is the most important rule. Parents and educators teach by example. If you don’t want your kids to obsessively check their devices or to text during dinner or conversations, than you need to refrain from those behaviours as well. Practice what you preach.

When you live by the Top 3 Etiquette Rules for Texting, you’ll find that you will no longer view technology as an interruption or an addiction. Texting, when practiced responsibly and with respect is a very convenient mode of communication that can be enjoyed by all generations.

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