Management and Mentoring with Congruence

Management and Mentoring with Congruence

This article is the third of a series of three covering the core conditions model developed by Carl Rogers and its application to Management and Mentoring. These core conditions were developed for use in Person Centred Counselling Psychotherapy and from my experience have great relevance to Management in general and my Mentoring practice in particular.

The first two articles dealt with two of the core conditions in Roger’s model, namely Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) and Empathy; conditions/words that most of us from a non-technical sense can understand. UPR we can see is an attitude of mind supporting the client or team member in whatever the situation and Empathy is more of a process, focusing our understanding of the situation from the other person’s point of view. The third condition is however slightly more complex. In direct terms the word Congruence implies “Harmony” and in other definitions it is called “being Genuine”. However neither of these is fully descriptive of the concept being discussed here.

Mentoring is a challenging discipline and the previous articles mentioned the dangers implicit in working with clients and using external professional supervision to ensure that personal issues are not being applied in the work done. The condition of Congruence addresses this critically. One of the values in a good Mentor that is appreciated by the client (and I have found it to be the most highly valued area) is one of trust in your independence of view. In other words the client reviews a situation and can trust that I will honestly respond from a place of perspective to give alternatives for consideration.

So how does that apply to Management? Leading a team is fraught with issues and trust is a key one. If a team member does not trust that you come from an open place then problems arise. If I can quote from my trusted Mentor Robert Townsend

True leadership must be for the benefit of the followers, not the enrichment of the leaders

Congruence as a condition focuses on the ability to be honest (genuine) with the person being dealt with but more importantly being honest with yourself. In mentoring terms what is it that I am feeling or thinking when the client is discussing an issue? Am I focused on their requirement and not biased to give options that are inappropriate? I would say that the condition of Congruence was initially developed in the Counselling frame and to restate that a Mentor is not a Counsellor. The interaction and responses are not necessarily required to be the same. However the genuineness is comparable. For example I had one client who was proposing something completely inappropriate as a resolution and I expressed strong disapproval of it. Was this right? Well in this case yes. The client was averting their responsibility for a task and I could see this. I therefore felt on reflection that it was the right thing to do (both at the time and in supervision) being honest with them and myself. How honest are you with yourself in reviewing your activity with you and your team.

Another issue with regard to Congruence in relation to Management and Mentoring is a propensity to show one’s expertise. A Mentor is chosen because in part they have appropriate experience but in reality that is not always relevant. A Manager similarly is in a position of power and seeming better experience. The temptation is though to use (and possibly abuse) the power implicit in this expertise and give a façade of all knowingness. This should be tempered with humility. Managers and Mentors should be clear as I am in revealing just where they got it wrong. Showing their frailties to ensure their team member or client is similarly honest with themselves. Can I quote from Townsend again

“Admit your own mistakes openly, maybe even joyfully. Encourage your associates to do likewise by commiserating with them. Never castigate. Babies learn to walk by falling down. If you beat a baby every time he falls down, he’ll never much care for walking.”

By being honest about one’s mistakes will encourage the team member or client to be reflective and honest about making the necessary changes to achieve their objectives.

One thing I am clear on though is that I can always improve and use my Supervisor to ensure that I maintain a clear space between me and my clients and that I approach them with the three core conditions in mind.