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Management and Mentoring with Congruence
Written by: Nicholas FraserArticle Overview: This article is the third of a series of three covering the core conditions model developed by Carl Rogers and its application to Management and Mentoring. These core conditions were developed for use in Person Centred Counselling Psychotherapy and from my experience have great relevance to Management in general and my Mentoring practice in particular. The first two articles dealt with two of the core conditions in Roger’s model, namely Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) and Empathy.The third condition is however slightly more complex. In direct terms the word Congruence implies “Harmony” and in other definitions it is called “being Genuine”. However neither of these is fully descriptive of the concept being discussed here.
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Management and Mentoring with Congruence
Management and Mentoring
with Congruence
This article is the third of a
series of three covering the core conditions model developed by Carl Rogers and
its application to Management and Mentoring. These core conditions were
developed for use in Person Centred Counselling Psychotherapy and from my experience
have great relevance to Management in general and my Mentoring practice in
particular.
The first two articles dealt with
two of the core conditions in Roger’s model, namely Unconditional Positive
Regard (UPR) and Empathy; conditions/words that most of us from a non-technical
sense can understand. UPR we can see is an attitude of mind supporting the
client or team member in whatever the situation and Empathy is more of a
process, focusing our understanding of the situation from the other person’s
point of view. The third condition is however slightly more complex. In direct
terms the word Congruence implies “Harmony” and in other definitions it is
called “being Genuine”. However neither of these is fully descriptive of the
concept being discussed here.
Mentoring is a challenging
discipline and the previous articles mentioned the dangers implicit in working
with clients and using external professional supervision to ensure that
personal issues are not being applied in the work done. The condition of Congruence
addresses this critically. One of the values in a good Mentor that is
appreciated by the client (and I have found it to be the most highly valued
area) is one of trust in your independence of view. In other words the client
reviews a situation and can trust that I will honestly respond from a place of
perspective to give alternatives for consideration.
So how does that apply to
Management? Leading a team is fraught with issues and trust is a key one. If a
team member does not trust that you come from an open place then problems
arise. If I can quote from my trusted Mentor Robert Townsend
True leadership must be for
the benefit of the followers, not the enrichment of the leaders
Congruence as a condition focuses
on the ability to be honest (genuine) with the person being dealt with but more
importantly being honest with yourself. In mentoring terms what is it that I am
feeling or thinking when the client is discussing an issue? Am I focused on
their requirement and not biased to give options that are inappropriate? I
would say that the condition of Congruence was initially developed in the
Counselling frame and to restate that a Mentor is not a Counsellor. The
interaction and responses are not necessarily required to be the same. However
the genuineness is comparable. For example I had one client who was proposing
something completely inappropriate as a resolution and I expressed strong
disapproval of it. Was this right? Well in this case yes. The client was
averting their responsibility for a task and I could see this. I therefore felt
on reflection that it was the right thing to do (both at the time and in supervision)
being honest with them and myself. How honest are you with yourself in
reviewing your activity with you and your team.
Another issue with regard to
Congruence in relation to Management and Mentoring is a propensity to show one’s
expertise. A Mentor is chosen because in part they have appropriate experience
but in reality that is not always relevant. A Manager similarly is in a
position of power and seeming better experience. The temptation is though to
use (and possibly abuse) the power implicit in this expertise and give a façade
of all knowingness. This should be tempered with humility. Managers and Mentors
should be clear as I am in revealing just where they got it wrong. Showing
their frailties to ensure their team member or client is similarly honest with
themselves. Can I quote from Townsend again
“Admit your own mistakes
openly, maybe even joyfully. Encourage your associates to do likewise by
commiserating with them. Never castigate. Babies learn to walk by falling down.
If you beat a baby every time he falls down, he’ll never much care for
walking.”
By being honest about one’s mistakes will encourage the team
member or client to be reflective and honest about making the necessary changes
to achieve their objectives.
One thing I am clear on though is that I can always improve
and use my Supervisor to ensure that I maintain a clear space between me and my
clients and that I approach them with the three core conditions in mind.
Article Tags: carl rogers, compatibility, congruence, core conditions, div, endif, fareast, footer, gte, mentoring, mso, nbsp, orphan, paper source, span style, style definitions, style font, style name, style text, times new roman
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About the Author: Nicholas Fraser RSS for Nicholas's articles - Visit Nicholas's website Nicholas Fraser is seasoned Sales and Marketing professional who has worked with Multi Nationals including IBM as well as Medium and Small businesses. He has been an MD of a number of businesses and has been practising as a professionally supervised Business Mentor for the past 5 years. He is currently splitting his time with running a new software startup Newera Controls - an exciting Energy Management and Control application and is in the process of raising Venture Capital to launch it worldwide. Click here to visit Nicholas's website Mentoring to hear what you say to know what you think Passionate but not Persuasive Understanding the market Mentoring Management Commandments Customers and Competition Love them or Hate them |
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