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Management and Mentoring with Empathy

Guest post by: Nicholas Fraser

Article Overview: This article is the second of a series of three covering the core conditions model developed by Carl Rogers and its application to Management and Mentoring. These core conditions were developed for use in Person Centred Counselling Psychotherapy and from my experience have great relevance to Management in general and my Mentoring practice in particular. The first article dealt with Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) where I as a Mentor approach the client or a Manager approaches their team member with a totally positive view and look to assist to remove the externally put barriers to growth that are in the way of the team member or client in achieving their objectives. But there is more to the requirement than just approaching the client in a positive frame. One has to understand their position, truly. This is where Empathy comes in.

Management and Mentoring with Empathy

Management and Mentoring with Empathy



This article is the second of a series of three covering the core conditions model developed by Carl Rogers and its application to Management and Mentoring. These core conditions were developed for use in Person Centred Counselling Psychotherapy and from my experience have great relevance to Management in general and my Mentoring practice in particular.

The first article dealt with Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) where I as a Mentor approach the client or a Manager approaches their team member with a totally positive view and look to assist to remove the externally put barriers to growth that are in the way of the team member or client in achieving their objectives. But there is more to the requirement than just approaching the client in a positive frame. One has to understand their position, truly. This is where Empathy comes in. Empathy is sometimes described as being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. However there is a danger that one can delude oneself in thinking you understand just because you have been there before.

Now of course one of the attractions of a Business Mentor or an experienced Manager for that matter is that they have this sage experience to benefit from. But and this is a big but, the client or team member is not in the same position as the Manager or Mentor was when they went through the seemingly similar experience. It is a dangerous assumption to think that you have seen it all and so can “advise” the best course. The key here is to detach oneself and understand the other’s personal and business position so that the various options can be highlighted and reviewed. For I have to remind myself constantly it is always the client who should make the decision not mine as the Mentor.

I mentioned in the first article the requirement of professional supervision for a Mentor. I definitely concur with that on this point in particular. As I said it can be very seductive to think that I “know it all”. Reviewing situations with my Supervisor alerts me to that danger and ensures that I remain detached. But of course having had similar experiences does enable me to appreciate the issues, the emotions, the stresses of being the Director who has to lead. In other words I can be empathic to the situation and there to help.

Now of course just because I am an experienced Mentor does not necessarily mean I can Mentor everyone. The objective of the initial no obligation meeting is as much to assess my ability to understand the client’s requirements from a personal and business point of view. Sometimes that means having a full understanding of the particular market sector the client is in. Now this is not a prerequisite in my opinion but may be one from the client’s. And to be honest we all get along with different people differently; I have my style which may be helpful to some but not to others. The objective of the first meeting is to see whether I can build up an empathic relationship with the client to enable them to achieve their objectives.

My final article will deal with a more difficult and complex issue; that of Congruence of the Mentor – my ability to understand the affect of the client on me and to be truly myself in dealings with the client.

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