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Management and Mentoring with Unconditional Positive Regard



Management and Mentoring

with Unconditional Positive Regard


This article is the first of a

series of three covering the core conditions model developed by Carl Rogers and

its application to Management and Mentoring. These core conditions were

developed for use in Person Centred Counselling Psychotherapy and from my

experience have great relevance to Management in general and my Mentoring practice

in particular.

I was stimulated to write this

particular article following a discussion at a Networking breakfast e were

discussing how at times people tend to view those they deal with negatively

looking for the other person to “prove” themselves to be worthy of

consideration. To his credit the guy I was talking to stated that he had come

to the conclusion it was better to view everyone positively from the start,

scoring them 10/10 unless and until they show that they are worthy of a lesser

score. A very creditable view in my opinion and said so at the time.

Carl Rogers’ view was that everyone

should be judged positively no matter what (and I mean no matter who they are

or what they have done). Rogers

described it as “Unconditional Positive Regard” or UPR for short. The Rogerian

view is that everyone is born with a positive approach but held back by

externally imposed “Conditions of Worth”. The key as he saw it was to approach

the client with

v A

non judgemental UPR

v Empathy

- an ability to look at life as though you were in their shoes

v Congruence

- an ability to understand the effect of the person on you and to be truly yourself

and thus allowing the client to be them self too

So how does having UPR apply in management

and mentoring? In management we see many examples where teams seem to be

underperforming and everyone says how bad the teams are, yet the teams are

transformed by a new boss or management regime. I am reminded of my own “Mentor” Robert Townsend

who I have written about before. As you may remember he wrote the seminal book

“Up The Organisation” based on his experiences as head of Avis (he came up with

the slogan “We try harder”). Let me quote

“When I became head of Avis I was

assured that no one at HQ was any good and that my first job was to recruit a

whole new team. Three years later a visiting President of the owning group

stated “I’ve never seen such depth of management”. You guessed it, same people;

I only brought in two new people, a lawyer and an accountant.”

Townsend demonstrates that on the

whole everyone can; we just create our own barriers that stop others from doing

things. He approached his team unconditionally positive and gave them the

chance to make things happen.

And in my mentoring practice

having UPR for my clients or potential clients is critical. My initial

no-obligation meeting is designed to see where the client lies in satisfaction

with their current situation and in their ability/desire to move from one state

to another. My experience is that most people become engaged with me when they

feel they are in one place, stuck for whatever reason and really want to be in

another. The underlying level of dissatisfaction with the situation or “the

pain they are feeling” as I sometimes describe it is the driver for my

retention as a Business Mentor.

Whatever results from this

initial meeting, I as the Mentor

have to accept the situation unconditionally and be fully positive in giving

assistance. If I harbour doubts or more worryingly am judgemental about the

client and so tempted to impose my own ways of doing things on the client then

the process will fail.

It is important to understand

that I am professionally supervised, meeting with my Supervisor once a month. Part

of the requirement for this professional supervision is to ensure that I am not

trying to live my objectives and desires through someone else. Approaching it

with UPR is a process that reminds me that it is always the client’s choice in

terms of direction. Empowering the client to make the decision that is right

for them and trusting the client to do that for their reasons not

externally imposed ones. That is not to say that I am always in full agreement

with the client’s direction but as long as the alternatives have been

considered then it is always the client’s choice.

Mentors like me and Managers like

the guy I was talking to are in accord in always scoring people as 10/10. What

I endeavour to do as a Mentor is to focus with the client on the issues that

may lead others to reduce that score and also affect the results they are

endeavouring to achieve. But I can only do that by being Empathic and truly

Congruent. I will write more about those conditions in subsequent articles.

Author:.

Nicholas Fraser is seasoned Sales and Marketing professional who has worked with Multi Nationals including IBM as well as Medium and Small businesses. He has been an MD of a number of businesses and has been practising as a professionally supervised Business Mentor for the past 5 years.

He is currently splitting his time with running a new software startup Newera Controls - an exciting Energy Management and Control application and is in the process of raising Venture Capital to launc...

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