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5 Steps to Become Conflict Competent

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair

Article Overview: Conflict is a drain on all of us, emotionally, physically, and financially. There are always new, annoying problems that lead to conflict.

5 Steps to Become Conflict Competent

Conflict is a drain on all of us, emotionally, physically, and financially. There are always new, annoying problems that lead to conflict. However, it is the ones that repeat and repeat and repeat....well you get the idea. It is the ones that feel like you are constantly pulling the scab from a sore that muddy the waters at work most of the time.

1. Just like every business concern, the best thing to do is start with a targeted outcome. Take a few minutes and write down what you hope will happen if you get the tension and anxiety to diminish enough to have a sensible conversation.

2. Identify the individuals you need to talk with. Don't limit yourself to just one or two. Often, it is best to have a whole team (up to maximum of ten people) who can help with the issue and solution.

3. Think about the cultural components of how conflict is usually handled at work. Is there an H.R specialist or an ombudsman who oversees things when tensions occur.

4. Consider the physical elements: is stress over the top because of deadlines, or extreme weather conditions, or staff limitations.

5. Pick a time and place to talk together. Have a facilitator who can moderate and mediate; someone who is not "part of the problem".

Once you see the end point as a smoother, well-functioning team and talk about that right at the beginning of the session, it sets the standard and everyone can hold that idea. Please remember, most of us are visual and when we can see the goal in our mind's eye it is more likely to happen in a positive way.

In "Don't Bring It to Work" there is, in chapter 4 the basic behavior patterns that we all bring with us to work. Once we are able to describe the patterns (as in rebel, procrastinator, martyr, etc) and they are obvious to all of us we can start the exciting venture to change them to their positive opposites and conflicts are then handled more effectively and faster. GO for it!

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Article Tags: Conflict Resolution, Patterns, Workplace Conflict



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