Are You a Flourisher or Languisher?

Positive psychology has given a new way to look at behavior. The focus is on what is working rather than on the dark side. The focus is on how to flourish rather than sit on the sidelines and languish. 

Yet, it is hard to stay happy and optimistic all the time.  So, ask yourself if you are a half full or half empty type? Guess what? We all have both the better and the bitter in us. The question is how to accentuate the positive and minimize the negative.

Entrepreneurs mostly tend toward the half full since it takes incredible determination and perspective to grow your own business. What about when the burden feels too heavy? What about your staff? What do you do with your half empty employees? Is it your job to fill them up? This is when workplace conflict escalates and workplace collaboration goes down the drain. Many entrepreneurs tell me their concern is this can become a full time job!

So, here is the big question: why can some people pick up the pieces, especially during tough economic times and others fall by the wayside? The answer, drum roll please....behavior patterns from the past. Yes, what separates us is not so much ability, creativity, determination, finances, staff support or wanting to be positive. It is that when stress hits the hot button we all tend to revert to patterns we learned as children for survival and security.

Let me unpeel this artichoke for you (artichoke rather than onion because an artichoke has a heart). The original organization we all signed onto was the family. It is where we learned to see the sun through the rain, or not. Since we mimic our parents or caretakers, if they think it is a miserable day, well then so do we.

Lucky if you come from a line of ancestors who see the rainbow even before the rain stops. That would put you in the top tier of flourishers at work. So, what do the rest of us do? We have to break through the old beliefs and create a new map for ourselves.

If you want to get a better handle on how your patterns play out at work take the pattern aware quiz at my website. This will help you observe and begin the journey to understanding your patterns and what you can do to change these very old ways of thinking.

Now here is some other good news. Finding balance in your present life will help diminish the old behavior patterns enough to get through the down days. This is good for you and good for your employees. Corey Keyes, PhD a professor of sociology at Emory University did research on longevity. The people on the planet who live the longest are in Sardinia and Okinawa. Not ready to move there to improve your actuarial table? Okay, then here is the advice for a longer and happier life, one where you can flourish rather than languish; one where your leadership skills and entrepreneurial talents can shine even when you are an octogenarian. In these two countries hard work is highly valued (so far so good), that goes along with spending time with family, helping others, and having a spiritual connection.

First, find where you are stuck in behavior patterns from the past and then make a commitment to do like the Sardinians and Okinawans do; carve out time for family, give the gift of giving, and look up to the heaven and offer thanks in whatever manner suits you best. Here is to you as you flourish!