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Charismatic Leadership and a Piece of Cake

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair

Article Overview: Think about when you have met someone who you have described later as "spectacular" or "electric" or "amazing". What do you think the one special thing was about him or her? Most of us think charisma belongs to someone who is an extrovert, who has a strong handshake, who tells a great joke. That may well be. Yet, if that is all that is there the attraction will become dull and boring after the second or third encounter.

Charismatic Leadership and a Piece of Cake

Think about when you have met someone who you have described later as "spectacular" or "electric" or "amazing". What do you think the one special thing was about him or her?

Most of us think charisma belongs to someone who is an extrovert, who has a strong handshake, who tells a great joke. That may well be. Yet, if that is all that is there the attraction will become dull and boring after the second or third encounter.

There has to be something more enduring for any of us to want to meet with "charismatic" people again and again.

I recently spoke at a national conference. Actually I was a workshop presenter. The keynote speaker was a man who has written several really excellent business books. His stage presentation was bright and informative. He was polished and you could tell had exemplary media training.

So when I was introduced to him at lunch I was ready for a meaningful and profound encounter. I was positioned perfectly, sitting at his left. The man who was to sit next to him on the right was called away for much of the meal. So, there we were chatting through the caesar salad and both waiting for the vegetarian meals to be set in front of us.

I was bored. The conversation was stale. I decided I must just be a dull seat mate and so I dug deeply into my bag of conversational skills. The only time things brightened up was when we returned to his travel schedule for the rest of the year and possible connections I might have for him.

I couldn't wait for the rich looking chocolate cake to be served. I had not had carbs for months and cake was an absolute no-no. Yet, it signified the end of lunch and I could graciously leave and get to my workshop on conflict resolution in the workplace.

On my way to the room where I would present I bumped into an old friend who said "Aren't you the lucky one. So, how was sitting there with _____? "

I fished for words and finally came up with "It was okay, well actually it was like crossing a desert in the midday sun" then embarrassed by my honest revelation I said," the rich chocolate cake was super, hope you had some too."

Charisma, more than writing a book, more than a graduate degree, more than owns a business; it has to do with caring about people and being present to everyone who comes into your life. That afternoon was an important time for me and I hope you can also take away the lesson about being real is more important that being important!

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Article Tags: Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Leadership, Workplace Relationship



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