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Lead People, Manage Money

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair

Article Overview: The idea of patterns at play in the workplace is beginning to create some lively discussions. You can take the quiz to observe the personal patterns you bring to work by taking the quiz on my website. If you choose, you can then have a free half hour consultation to give you pointers on what to do to make positive changes and increase your career success quotient. Not bad for less than an hour to be able to say "Oh, now I get it!!" George White took the test and here is his response:

Lead People, Manage Money

The idea of patterns at play in the workplace is beginning to create some lively discussions. You can take the quiz to observe the personal patterns you bring to work by taking the quiz on my website. If you choose, you can then have a free half hour consultation to give you pointers on what to do to make positive changes and increase your career success quotient. Not bad for less than an hour to be able to say "Oh, now I get it!!"

George White took the test and here is his response:

I read your column and participated in your quiz and found the results very interesting. As a retired Non Commissioned Officer in the United States Army I can see we have very different views on what leadership is as opposed to management. The results of your quiz indicated that I was the "martyr" type and I would agree with that to some extent, however, that is the bedrock of military leadership. We are willing to sacrifice a great deal for our country and fellow soldiers. I would submit the difference is that as a military leader, I would do this, and have done so, without the "look at what I did" mentality, whereas in a civilian work place the leader (or manager) would attempt to point out his or her sacrifices in order to garner some attention. In my mind, people must be led. Time, material, and money can be managed. A leader does so by setting the example and will not ask of his or her people anything they would not be willing to do. That is the difference." George has helped to make the distinction between a martyr and a servant leader. This is an important point and I value the fact that he has used a great example. When there is a life or death situation the servant leader will take all the risks and lead without needing to be acknowledgment. They just do the right thing!

The martyr, on the other hand is usually someone who is deeply in need of personal recognition, often someone who is insecure and has a poor self image. They are the ones who do want something in return for all the help they give and will make sure you know it. I often joke and say the martyr will ask for your first born child or your bright, shiny new car, which ever they would prefer. The martyr most often learned this behavior by watching family members who sacrificed and let everyone know they were overwhelmed and burdened. They saw this as the right way to be and this type of conditioning becomes so deeply embedded that responding in this manner is not even thought about.

Servant leaders, on the other hand, have a strong sense of right and wrong and will do what is difficult and often unpopular. They are willing to sacrifice their own personal gain for the good of the collective and do not brag or focus attention on themselves. Often they grew up in families that valued altruism and appropriate risk taking. Studies have been done about the children of freedom fighters in the Second World War and how they also have grown up willing to stand for justice. Sadly, servant leaders are few and far between while martyrs are in large supply.

In my book "Don't Bring It to Work" I state clearly that it is possible to change the old, outmoded behavior of behavior patterns learned as children for survival and security. The way OUT is to Observe, Understand and Transform the patterns to their healthy opposites.

The martyr becomes an integrator who learns to share the load (and that means also to share the kudos). Thus, the martyr no longer carries the very heavy rock up the very steep hill alone. They become masters at doing their fair share and requesting help when needed. This is a burden reducer on all who are part of the team. The martyr gets help and everyone else has an opportunity to join in also.

So here is the good news: with some effort and a willingness to become a more helpful leader there are tools to help the martyr become an initiator and stand in the ranks of the servant leader.

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Article Tags: career success, consultation, leaders, personal patterns, quiz



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