Leadership Lessons: Automatic Happiness

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair
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The real meaning of leadership - By Sylvia Lafair

The push for us to be happy is at an all-time high. It may well be because we are still dealing with an economic downturn that causes people to feel anxiety and sadness and often depression.

So, the big question is "Can we be trained to be happy?"

Some research says "Yup, it can be done". Other research says "You've got to be kidding! Not possible!!"

I say we are asking the wrong question. It is really stupid and very immature to put so much focus on that elusive quality called happiness. For one it means a big, shiny new car; for another it is a trip to Cabos, someone else is happy just losing five pounds.

Now when the guy or gal with the shiny car hits that tree in back that honestly wasn't there a minute ago, the happiness evaporates into upset. When the hotel in Cabos is dingy, not like those glossy photos on the web, it is hand wringing time. And damn that scale, it is showing not just the same five pounds back, it is even higher than ever before, it's time to bag the whole thing and have a hot fudge sundae!

Happiness is big business, just ask any advertising agency. It sells the promise of happiness. How about if we rethink the whole idea and see "aliveness" as a more attainable goal? Aliveness, the feeling of being open to what is happening in the moment; aliveness, the ability to feel a variety of emotions and simply know it is like riding a roller coaster with heights and dips and excitement.

One of my favorite quotes is from Helen Keller who had few sensory resources at her beck and call. Yet, she made a life for herself and helped all of us who learned by osmosis about what it feels to be alive. Keep this quote front and center, especially on the days when your "happiness barometer starts to drop.

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The real meaning of leadership - By Sylvia Lafair

About the Author: Sylvia Lafair

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Developing leaders and transforming teams is my speciality. As a clinical psychologist I know that we bring the behaviors we learned in our original organization, the family, into our present work organization. The key to leadership is understanding how individuals form a system and how that system impacts the bottom line. I have worked globally and find that the core of relationships is much the same whether in California, China,or Chile. My book "Don't Bring It to Work (Jossey Bass) offers tools and strategies for developing collaborative work cultures and important core techniques for entrepreneurs to have motivated and fast moving teams. I am a speaker at national conferences, radio, and television. You can follow my blogs at http://www.sylvialafair.com/blog/ . You may contact Sylvia Lafair, PhD, author of "Don't Bring It to Work" directly at, sylvia@ceoptions.com or 570-636-3858 for any questions or feedback you may have.
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