Like this article? PLEASE +1 it! Evan Signature
Evan Carmichael Top Header about About Home Profiles articles Tools forums inspirational quotes About facebook Twitter YouTube Blog
Share for a Cause











Leadership Lessons and Emotional Pollution

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair

Article Overview: Did you ever throw a paper cup on the ground and walk away? The women who read this blog would not think to do that. The cup would find a home in a trash can. And, if you look down and there is a candy wrapper lying on the pavement do you pick it up and throw it in a waste basket? Most likely you would take the moment to help clean up the area.

Free Download - 3 Competencies of Leadership By Sylvia Lafair
Name: Email:

Leadership Lessons and Emotional Pollution

Did you ever throw a paper cup on the ground and walk away? The women who read this blog would not think to do that. The cup would find a home in a trash can. And, if you look down and there is a candy wrapper lying on the pavement do you pick it up and throw it in a waste basket? Most likely you would take the moment to help clean up the area.

So, why do we walk past unpleasant situations, unpleasant people and just keep going? And, sadly, there are also times we add to the difficulties with our comments and critiques and more "junk" is left in the room.

It's time to look emotional pollution in the eye and start a campaign against toxic patterned behavior spills.

Saying "no" to divisiveness, to gossip, to office politics is an important step to cleaning up this invisible environment that pollutes as much as leaving trash on the floor.

Think about it for a moment. When someone tells you a "juicy tidbit" about a colleague how do you respond? Do you simply say "uh huh" and walk on? Do you ask for details and add "I knew she couldn't be trusted?" Do you go to another colleague and say "Wait till you here this?"

There is old conditioning that had to do with safety and survival, handed from generation to generation, that is the plus side of gossip. We all want to be in the know. Okay, now the big question is what do you do with the information?

Emotional pattern spills happen in every office all the time. They can cause poor morale and lessened productivity; cleaning them up takes work and determination.

Here is the best way I have found to stop the "gotcha games" at work. When sour sentences come your way, simply ask "What is your intention by telling me this?" And then you must be quiet to give the other person ample time to answer.

If still not satisfied, another question "What do you want as an outcome?"

Again wait. And then "What do you expect me to do with this information?"

This is the foundation of the program "OUCH: Handling Conflict at Work" and I have seen positive changes occur quickly and effectively.

By irresponsibility, by ignorance, by inconsideration, we all pollute. By communicating, by questioning, by caring, we can keep our environments clean. It's about you, it's about me, and it's about time!

Related Articles
  Pollution Control Loans
  The Global Myth
  Thought leadership = emotional connections on steroids
  Integral Leadership - A Useful Model for Leadership Development
  Sales and Sales Leadership Lessons from Lou Piniella and the Umpire
  Ten More Important “Lessons Learned” For Leaders, According To Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach
  The essence of the soft stuff
  Hiring and Promoting Emotional Intelligence
  Learning at the Frank Sinatra School of Leadership
  Corporate consequence, trust and thought leadership
  Lessons of Leadership
  Emotional Intelligence and Performance
  Twelve Strategic Leadership Actions To Fire Up Your Employees During Change
  Leadership Resilience - The Art of Bouncing Back
  Leadership Styles - What is Most Effective in Leading Change?
  Learn from Golf... Create More Revenue
  Leadership = Accepting Failures
  How to Be an Inspiring Leader
  Mother is an Example of Six Sigma Leadership
  Green Biz Idea #32 - Certify Your Business as Green

Home > Leadership > Sylvia Lafair > Leadership Lessons and Emotional Pollution >
Article Tags: conflict, emotion, leadership lessons, pollution, productivity

About the Author: Sylvia Lafair
RSS for Sylvia's articles - Visit Sylvia's website

Developing leaders and transforming teams is my speciality. As a clinical psychologist I know that we bring the behaviors we learned in our original organization, the family, into our present work organization. The key to leadership is understanding how individuals form a system and how that system impacts the bottom line. I have worked globally and find that the core of relationships is much the same whether in California, China,or Chile. My book "Don't Bring It to Work (Jossey Bass) offers tools and strategies for developing collaborative work cultures and important core techniques for entrepreneurs to have motivated and fast moving teams. I am a speaker at national conferences, radio, and television. You can follow my blogs at  http://www.sylvialafair.com/blog/ . You may contact Sylvia Lafair, PhD, author of "Don't Bring It to Work" directly at, sylvia@ceoptions.com or 570-636-3858 for any questions or feedback you may have.

Click here to visit Sylvia's website
Dashed Line

More from Sylvia Lafair
What Does My Family Have to Do With My Work
5 Ways to Get Engaged at Work
5 Ways to Stay Cool Under Pressure
3 Ways to Keep the Change
4 Leadership Tips for Happy Employees


Related Forum Posts
Re: LEADERS Re: LEADERS - Nice post, i like the Doers and the listeners comments from my handbook 8.5 HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LEADERSHIP? Planning Problem Solving Vision Innovation Leadership Emotional Intelligence Delegation Communication Self-Development Relationship Building Commercial Financial skills Personal Energy Ethics Transparency Even there I see that we are missing "PASSION"
Re: Business Women Peer Mentoring Spotlight Re: Business Women Peer Mentoring Spotlight - Hi Everyone, Gosh, I REALLY appreciate your concrete feedback. This was far more than I expected and I'm glad you said what you thought straight out. Each of you have shared something of value and I want to take some more time to think and really go over what each of you have said. However, I can see there are some things I need to change right away. What an interesting point about a NEW program perhaps making people think they are guinea pigs! This is NOT what I want to convey! It's funny how we can see some things so clearly in others while not always seeing it for ourselves! I must admit there are a few things I've been meaning to change (like my bio which is very outdated). Obviously, these things need to be higher on my priority list. You caught me like the plumber who puts his clients first and doesn't get around to fixing his own tap! As far as my target market, I do feel quite strongly about working with Women Leaders and doing Leadership Coaching with them. It's non-negotiable in my books. In my Executive Coaching training, the terms "Leaders" and "Executives" are interchangable. To me, an Executive is a Leader and so is the Business Woman or Entrepreneur who is CEO of her own business. I love working with decision makers! What I did learn is that I need to avoid opening up the Leadership term beyond what I described above. I'm also wondering if there is a misunderstanding with the general public as to what Leadership Coaching really is. Leadership Coaching is all about developing your leadership skills, both as a people manager and in more effectively running and growing the business. There is ALWAYS room for growth in some way. As well, sometimes, we just need a sounding board to clarify what our next BEST step is. In fact, if a woman thinks she has nothing to work on, then we aren't a good Client/Coach fit anyway. How can she grow if she doesn't see the value of expressing ALL of the great ability within her? How can her company grow if she doesn't see the value of strategic planning for the next best level? Thanks again to you all! I will go back to my website and really question whether I am conveying the right message. I got more than I bargained for in this Spotlight... you generously offered way more than I was asking. I think we could be on to something great for the Forum. Now it's time to let someone else have the spotlight. It would be great if everyone took a turn! In gratitude, Tami
300 rules! 300 rules! - 300 was my favorite movie of 2007 and Kevin you did a great job in highlighting the Business Lessons from the Movie.
Re: 3 Ways I Used Twitter To Grow My Business This Week Re: 3 Ways I Used Twitter To Grow My Business This Week - Hi Olivia, It seems you are working in the area of leadership area. Is Leadership = Learning? I am looking for some good books on strategy? Which one do you recommend? Thanks, Robert
Napoleon on Project Management Napoleon on Project Management - Why do I include this in a list of books aimed at female entrepreneurs? Well...in the expectation that there are as many female history buffs as male ones, and in the belief that anyone interested in history will find this book fascinating, while those interested in project management will learn a thing or two. I think this was the first "gimmick" book - an author using a historical figure (usually a male, military figure, it must be admitted) to talk about modern day business management. I refuse to read any of the kind that advocates - even obliquely - the techniques of the Sopranos or the Mossad - but these military ones are pretty fun. Anyway: Only in the understanding of history, Napoleon might say, do we gain an understanding of strategy in the present. In the same spirit, Napoleon on Project Management offers the recipe for successfully managing your commitments using the strategies, tactics and priorities that propelled Napoleon himself to victory. [The book doesn't gloss over how Napolean eventually fell in defeat, of course, and there's lessons to be learned there as well. TOC Foreword by Douglas James Allan (Napoleanic Society of America) 1. The Rise to Power -The Skills to Succeed -A Compelling Vision -Diplomacy and Networking -Lessons from the Great Campaigns 2. Napoleon's 6 Winning Principles -Introduction -Exactitude -Speed -Flexibility -Simplicity -Character -Moral Force 3. The Downfall -What Went Wrong -Lessons from the Russian Invasion and Waterloo -The Four Critical Warning Signs -Napoleon's Legacy


Recommended Article for You close

  Pollution Control Loans

Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.



Featured Article

Bottom Footer



Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!
Name:
Email:
Popular Articles

What Makes an Extraordinary Business Consultant?

Word of Mouth Marketing Tips Fuel Success

Creating a Better Place to Work

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.