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Leadership Lessons from Charlie Sheen, John Edwards and Tiger Woods

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair

Article Overview: What constitutes character? Who's your hero? Are you a hero in someone else's eyes? Are you a person of good character? How do you recognize one? Read on to see how you can change your behavior patterns to forever change and enrich your life.

Leadership Lessons from Charlie Sheen, John Edwards and Tiger Woods

Did you ever wonder why there are so many males in the media being profiled for bad boy stuff? I believe the reason is we are all searching for answers to a mysterious question: how do boys become men? An even bigger question is: how do we know a man when we see him? And yet another, larger question is: what constitutes character in a human being?

As a leadership educator, and previously as a family therapist, I have had many opportunities to be behind closed doors with many CEO's, as well as well-known families, throughout my career. I have seen the same behaviors in the workplace and at home. I have observed patterns of behavior that have left individuals scared and filled with scars.

One of the reasons we are so obsessed with those whose transgressions are food for the media is that we want our superstars, our actors, our bosses to behave in ways we all wish our parents had behaved. We are looking for the ideals, the idols we can point to and say "Be like that".

So, what constitutes character? What do we wish to see that is so illusive in the world today? Here are a few of the qualities that constitute a higher level of success that extraordinary people exhibit:

• Self discipline

• Self reliance

• Desire for a higher purpose

• Willingness to put that purpose before selfish wants

• Assuming responsibility for all personal actions

• Ability to listen to criticism and not be defensive

• Dependability

• Capacity to consider all aspects of a situation

• Strength to tell the truth without blaming others

I do not want to judge the men who become the food for the media. Some have great talents in their specific areas. All are searching for something illusive they cannot seem to find. None of them have learned to consider the consequences of their actions in a broader sense.

The question each of us, male and female alike need to ask is: how are we helping each other grow to the best of our abilities? Who are the role models we look to so we can become the best we can be? Why are patterns of "hungry babies", who do not think beyond the moment of need, so prevalent in our present society? And most importantly: what can I do to make changes so I can become extraordinary and become someone to emulate?

First, it is critical to look inside at your own patterns of behavior. You can take the pattern aware test which is part of the book "Don't Bring It to Work". You can even get a half-hour free consultation with a CEO, Inc. facilitator who will help you understand your patterns in a more constructive manner.

Charlie Sheen was known for his abusive behavior prior to this latest episode. John Edwards has been a denier of unethical behavior for years, and Tiger has been hiding behind his handlers who have protected him for a long time. Maybe these men could be helped by observing, understanding, and transforming the behavior patterns that led to front page headlines. Then they, and their families, would benefit and everyone could grow. And then we would have some exemplary role models for young boys growing into men who could say: THEY changed from selfish to being of service and THEY exhibit a better way for themselves, their families and for the world and I can be like that too.

It's about you, it's about me, and it's about time!

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Article Tags: Character, Charlie Sheen, Family Patterns, Heros, John Edwards, Pattern Aware, Tiger Woods



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