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Leadership Stereotypes: Playing the Victim

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair

Article Overview: How to identify the bully, but also have the victim take responsibility.

Leadership Stereotypes: Playing the Victim

Did you ever hear someone complain and complain "My Fill in the blank (boss, coworker, mother-in-law, or whoever), is a bully"? When you hear that happen do you ever hear their side? Usually they go on and on saying "But....but... they have mistreated me"

Do you ever ask "What about your part in this?" The response is usually to defend, explain and justify.

That is so much the nature of our general society. Bullies are bad, victims are good people at the effect of the bad bully. We have created a nation of whiners. We have created a nation of people who are polarized and mostly do not have the skills to stay in a difficult situation and resolve it so both parties win.

What is fascinating is that when you look at the bully/persecutor and the victim there is a third person who jumps in to save, yes, you guessed it, the victim. Bullies are big, strong; they throw sand in your face, rocks at your head, or words that are so intense there is no way to respond.

At least, that is the culture we have created both in and outside the workplace. Most workplace conflict can be handled if there is a willingness to talk it through. However, when the victim screams "bully" the rescuer shows up to defend the poor, slighted soul.

Now, big question: who is the power in that triangle? If you answered it is the victim, give yourself a prize. The victim gets the rescuer to do his or her work. The bully is left to be the bad one. The rescuer then has to keep spending time rescuing instead of getting creative work done.

What a waste of resources. If you, Mr. or Ms. Entrepreneur have this kind of triangle in your organization make sure you get the victim to take responsibility for his or her part of the issue. That would be a major breakthrough and positive change is then in the air.

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Article Tags: Bully, Entrepreneur, Victim, Work Environment



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