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Leadership and Reaching the Boiling Point

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair

Article Overview: Leadership lesson, actually RELATIONSHIP LESSON for all of us: Learn to tell the truth without blame, judgment, or attack at the right time or be ready for the boil over, for it will come when you least expect it!!!

Leadership and Reaching the Boiling Point

Tom was telling me how he continually gets "hot under the collar" and then before he says something he might regret he walks away. He makes an excuse that he has another call to take or has to....(fill in the blank).

What he is saying is that when stress hits the hot button he becomes an avoider. Now, often getting to the boiling point is good. It means that there is a next level of action and reaction.

At 211 degrees water is super-hot (careful not to plunge your hand in). At 212 degrees water boils. Then comes the steam. Steam can power many things, think locomotive.

Yet, there is another side to reaching the boiling point without safe guards. Envision a pressure cooker with a top not securely fastened. That can be an ugly mess. In most leadership development programs it is advised to be careful about demeanor; not to boil over, to show your true emotions. Be cool, stay calm.

Yet, if you have a tendency to be an avoider of tough situations and you shove what is really going on under the carpet, sooner or later the emotions will burst forward, often when you least want them to.

That is what happened to Tom. They were at a team dinner. The boss and Tom were at odds about how much product could be sold in the first quarter. The boss was adamant and kept telling his employee he could do better.

They were at that boiling point. At dinner they were sitting across from each other at a round table filled with others on the team. The boss was talking about the wine he had just ordered that was being poured. He was romancing the bouquet, the price, the packaging. He shot a look across the table and said "What do you think Tom?"

Tom told me he could not take the condescending manner he saw with his boss and he "lost it". He could barely get the words out "You don't know what you're talking about. This is the worst wine you could have ordered. It has a terrible rating, only for those who have no idea about wine would have ordered it."

Everyone froze (the water that had boiled now turned to ice).

What Tom was actually saying was "You have no idea what is right to do first quarter and you're really messing up what the team has to do".

Leadership lesson, actually RELATIONSHIP LESSON for all of us: Learn to tell the truth without blame, judgment, or attack at the right time or be ready for the boil over, for it will come when you least expect it!!!

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Article Tags: Blame, Leadership Lessons, Pressure, Relationship Lessons, truth



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