The Good Part of Conflict in the Workplace

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair
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The real meaning of leadership - By Sylvia Lafair

You have two choices: one is to smile into the face of conflict and say "Welcome to my world, let's get ot know each other better" OR you can run and think that by running you can hide. You can't; at least not for long.

Why do so many of us cringe in the face of conflict? It's because the little kid part of us that looked up at those giants in our world (that means any adult) and knew they were big and we were small and they would win and we would lose when it came to decision time makes us feel....and that means all of us....inadequate.

It is up to you, the entrepreneurs and leaders in your businesses to handle workplace conflict with grace and presence. Otherwise, and this is absolutely true, you can unknowingly create a toxic work environment and then, yikes, it gets really ugly because all the upsets go underground and well, the pollution then runs rampant.

So here are some ways to stay above the fray and yet, still be available to solve the issues as they show up:

1. Clarity: Acknowledge the stress that comes with conflict and keep going. Let everyone know you are willing to let the conflict turn into an opportunity for creative thinking and growth.
2. Stay neutral: Let the team handle the tensions by setting time aside to discuss and chew on the disagreements. Everyone will want to get you engaged. Be like the parent who says "I'm here if you start punching, otherwise figure it out yourselves"
3. Have a stop watch: Give some guidelines and expect a decision within a matter of days. conflict left to its own device will feater and grow into something bigger than the original upset was ever meant to be
4. Listen and translate: When the opposing parties are ready to talk give everyone the respect and room to say their part. Then respond by saying "I just want to be clear this is what you are saying" and then paraphrase what was just said.
5. Flexibility: Let the new ideas that come from conflict resolution be instituted. it may not be exactly how you would do things; yet, the key is to help others find their sea-legs so next time and then the next time conflict comes knocking they are ready.

Now is the time for rewards. Make a public acknowledgement about how well your employees have handled a difficult situation. Praise and appreciation after a tough stint goes a long way in helping others really feel great about what they have done and will be ready for what is next with less trepidation.

Stopping Workplace Drama: Changing the Pattern (Tip #28)

5 Unique Ways to Stop Workplace Drama (Tip #19)

Stop Workplace Drama: Tips for Dealing with Conflict (Tip #36)

Workplace Motivation: Building Bridges as a Leader (Tip #43)

How to Deal with a Difficult Boss: Bosses who Don’t Resolve Conflict (Tip #29)

Stop Workplace Drama: How You Can Help Your Team Become Successful (Tip #20)

Stopping Workplace Drama: Navigating Tough Conversations (Tip #70)

Stop Workplace Drama: Dealing with Conflict (Tip #42)

Stop Workplace Drama – Start Understanding Conflict (Tip #7)

Stopping Workplace Drama: How Blaming Yourself Could Make a Difference (Tip #63)

Boot Camp Training for Conflict Resolution Skills

Workplace Drama (Tip #57)

Leaving the Workplace Drama and Moving On: Your Exit Interview (Tip #4)

Managing Conflict

Nonverbal Communication in the Workplace: Get What You Want (Tip #54)

5 Ways to Stop Workplace Drama (Tip #55)

4 Ways to Deal with Bad Co Workers (Tip #16)

Dealing with Bad Co-Workers and Difficult People (Tip #11)

3 Ways to Keep the Change

6 Tips To Turn Workplace Conflict Into A Strategic Asset!

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The real meaning of leadership - By Sylvia Lafair

About the Author: Sylvia Lafair

RSS for Sylvia's articles - Visit Sylvia's website
Developing leaders and transforming teams is my speciality. As a clinical psychologist I know that we bring the behaviors we learned in our original organization, the family, into our present work organization. The key to leadership is understanding how individuals form a system and how that system impacts the bottom line. I have worked globally and find that the core of relationships is much the same whether in California, China,or Chile. My book "Don't Bring It to Work (Jossey Bass) offers tools and strategies for developing collaborative work cultures and important core techniques for entrepreneurs to have motivated and fast moving teams. I am a speaker at national conferences, radio, and television. You can follow my blogs at http://www.sylvialafair.com/blog/ . You may contact Sylvia Lafair, PhD, author of "Don't Bring It to Work" directly at, sylvia@ceoptions.com or 570-636-3858 for any questions or feedback you may have.
Click here to visit Sylvia's website.

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The Good Part of Conflict in the Workplace

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