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Workplace Conflict and Being True to Yourself

Guest post by: Sylvia Lafair

Article Overview: Stress, tension, anxiety, anger, upset, depression, frustration, annoyance, and wasted time. They all go with the package called being human. They all show up at home, at work, and even at the supermarket. One of the biggest questions I get when folks ask about their own personal situations at work is how to cut the time wasted in attempting to resolve conflicts that don't want to just go away. They are able to see the patterns and even the parts they play in the office dramas. However, I am told that unless they apologize or just let the conflict go, it sits, like a well made snowman on a freezing winter day.

Workplace Conflict and Being True to Yourself

Stress, tension, anxiety, anger, upset, depression, frustration, annoyance, and wasted time. They all go with the package called being human. They all show up at home, at work, and even at the supermarket.

One of the biggest questions I get when folks ask about their own personal situations at work is how to cut the time wasted in attempting to resolve conflicts that don't want to just go away. They are able to see the patterns and even the parts they play in the office dramas. However, I am told that unless they apologize or just let the conflict go, it sits, like a well made snowman on a freezing winter day.

Some issues are really not worth the time to dig into. They really do waste time and effort. The big money goes to those who can figure out which are worth the fight. And the biggest winners are those who know what it means to be true to themselves and not sell out, no matter what it costs both physically, emotionally, and financially.

Here is a unique way to get to the heart of the matter. You can get council from so many people, yet as the boss everything really does stop at your desk. So, take a few minutes, go to a quiet place and ask yourself the following question.

If the upset became a movie what would you title it?

Have a title and a subtitle. It only takes a few minutes and you can gain real clarity into how much effort it deserves. Example: I recently had to fire a woman who was an impossible gossip and pot stirrer. Here is how I made the final decision she had to go: the title of my play was "Going Down with the Ship". I was actually surprised at how much anger came forward as soon as I put the title in place. The woman was not that high up in the organization and I was counseled to 'just let it go'. However, once the title was set I could see all three acts and I knew I had to take action.

Now, of course most of us are not playwrights. That's not the issue. The issue is we are a visual and verbal society and we learn early on to see ourselves through films and television programs. Once you take the time, actually most people tell me they get a great title in less than five minutes, it helps to solidify the level of the concern.

You see, all of us have patterns of behavior that repeat and repeat and unless we do what I call a pattern interrupt we keep doing what we have always done, sadly expecting different results. So, become a Shakespeare, just for a few minutes and you will see where you need to get going to resolve workplace conflicts.

Here is another title that came to me when I was stuck in the process of writing "Don't Bring It to Work". I was ready to give up the project, it just seemed too difficult. So, I sat and suddenly saw myself with my sneakers on, running into a stadium filled with cheering people and feeling the endorphin rush as I completed the marathon. My title, thanks to Nike was "Just Do It: Only Wimps Give Up"! And I'll take some bragging rights; the book just won a best business book of 2010 award.

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Article Tags: Conflict, Pattern Interrupt, Patterns, Stress, Workplace Conflict



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