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Business and Relationships: Change Your Words, Change Your World

Guest post by: Lynda-Ross Vega

Article Overview: Almost everyone has had the experience of saying one thing and having someone else interpret something completely different – to the detriment of a project or relationship. In this article, I discuss the ways that people with different Perceptual Styles use language differently.

Business and Relationships: Change Your Words, Change Your World

I have several friends who send me interesting emails. You know the type, You Tube videos, jokes, stories – you probably get a few of these, too. Recently, I received one that got me to thinking about its message, which was “Change your words. Change your world.” It’s a message that really hit home for me, especially within the context of human Perceptual Styles.

How you perceive the world – how you make meaning out of what your senses experience – really does determine your world. This means that the words you choose to create meaning and share your experiences with others have a powerful impact on your life.

We’ve all experienced the positive effect of a few well-chosen words – the smile you get in return for a simple “Thank You”… the glow that accompanies a compliment.

But we’ve all also experienced a complete disconnect with one or more people over words that seem out of context, harsh, or “unnecessary.” The fascinating thing to me is that the value and impact of a word changes based on our view of the world, not just on our understanding of the word itself.

For example, I know what the words ‘always’ and ‘never’ actually mean – in fact, I doubt there’s much argument out there over the meanings of these two words. But I rarely use either of them and neither do most other people with the Vision Perceptual Style.

Why? Because to us, those words feel limiting, and people of the Vision style experience the world as a series of endless possibilities. In fact, Vision folks tend to find comments like “you never….” or “you always……” insulting or challenging when applied to them. That’s because they know that they don’t “never” or “always” anything – they respond to life as it unfolds before them, improvising as necessary to take advantage of opportunities.

But for people with the Methods Perceptual Style, “always” and “never” are simple statements of fact based on what is known from an individual’s past behavior – no future application is considered or implied. So from a Methods perspective, Vision people really overreact to a simple fact!

There are a million other examples of differences between Perceptual Styles when it comes to the ways we use language. Those differences have a profound impact on many aspects of our daily lives – such as what marketing appeals to us and what kind turns us away, and which leaders motivate us and which leave us shaking our heads- not to mention our relationships. As a coach with 30+ years of experience, let me assure you that a key source of conflict in our personal and work relationships is the disconnections that result from the words we use (in guidelines or memos, for example, or at home, during conflicts and arguments) and what they mean to all parties involved.

So the next time you get a reaction from someone over something you’ve said that surprises you, stop to ask what it might mean to them before you react. You’ll be amazed at the differences you’ll uncover and the conflicts you’ll avoid! When you change your words you really can you change your world.

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Article Tags: business, Perceptual Styles, relationship
Referred by: http://www.MichelePW.com



Related Forum Posts
Re: Spellcheck? - [quote="TheAnonymousMan":2f894q6j]When discussing the majority of people I would definitely say that most people hit the "Change" or "Ignore" button without thinking too much about the correct spelling of a word. All bosses are concerned about is getting the report to the Directors meeting on time.[/quote:2f894q6j] That probably depends on what the "majority" are trying to accomplish. I have word set to alert me about misspellings and grammatical problems, so I fix most as I go. But I also add names etc to the dictionary because I get tired of seeing the red and green squiggles when I know the info is right. If you're only going to click "Change" or "Ignore" then why bother to take the time to use spell check????? Business people that I work for want the info compiled in a timely manner and they want it right - which is fine because that's the way I strive to do any project. Sending out a memo, letter, report etc with obvious spelling and grammatical mistakes makes the person and the company look bad as far as I'm concerned. Shri
Ad words - And I forgot... you could give Google Ad Words a try. I've used that in the past and was never able to get my click rate below 20 cents, but perhaps you'll have better luck. With Google Ad Words, your ad (which you must make sure you write properly) will send people to your website, so it's a must have.
Re: e-Commerce and e-Payment providers - Hi GT It is only fairly recently that people in South Africa have been able to get full use of Paypal as we were only able at one time to make payments but not receive them. Fortunately this has now changed. I have received money through Global X Change for one of the affiliate programs that I promote and have found them pretty good as the money is normally transferred directly into my bank account within 2-3 days and I have not had any problems with them. MichelleJ
Re: Obama Wants Social Security for Illegals - [quote="Alan Mater":3kaa8sg4] Obama WILL make changes... but they're not the changes we as a country need or should look forward to.[/quote:3kaa8sg4] Sad but this is exactly how I feel about it. Change is coming - but unless I'm really wrong, it is not a change this country needs. Amazing how much a good speaker with a good speech writer can do. If you paid attention to the things he said "off script" - much of it is frightening. Chris
Name for website - Hmmmm Authors World Authors Network Authors World Wide Weblog World Wide Authors Arboretum (or some other alliterative word) WritertoWriter Writer to Reader WritersWorld WritersConnect AuthorsandtheirReadersBlog


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