Losing Your Job Doesn't Make You a Loser!

Christian Schoyen, leading U.S. job expert, life architect, and best selling author

You were good at your job and loyal to your employer. But they let you go anyway. You're trying not to feel angry and betrayed; but the truth is, you didn't do anything wrong. You played the game according to “society's rules,” but instead of getting ahead, you're worse off than you were before. Now you feel afraid about not having enough money to pay your bills and feed your family; and honestly, you don't know how you're going to manage.

Whether they realize it or not, most Americans have been brainwashed to believe that  their value as a human being is determined by what kind of job they have, what kind of house they live in, what kind of car they drive, how they dress, and who they choose to marry. So they've spent their entire lives trying to live up to society's expectations.

The harsh truth: You've been brainwashed to feel like a failure.

Nobody told you that this mentality based on external values could only result in disappointment; that you would be only a shadow of what you are capable of being.

The solution: This is your wake-up call , your opportunity to reevaluate your life, claim your birthright and become the person God intended for you to be. By liberating yourself from society's expectations, you can discover what it takes for you to feel truly happy and fulfilled. Now you can be free!

You = A Robot

Most people have been trained beginning in childhood by a reward and punishment system, not unlike that used with the family dog. It creates a yearning for rewards given for being “good” and a fear of punishment or rejection if we do not comply with the desires of our authority figures.

Without intending to harm or deceive you, your parents, family members, schools, teachers, peers, organized religions, and the media trained you to be a mental slave. You were given incorrect information, and so you made wrong choices. As you attempted to meet the expectations of other people and gain their approval, you also gave up your own individuality and accepted less than what we truly wanted in life.

Still, there remains somewhere within each of us the spark of our own true desires, which cannot be extinguished. When that spark cannot ignite our true passions, we feel uninspired, unfulfilled, anxious, depressed or out of control. We lose the clear connection between God and our true selves that is called passion. We go through the motions each day like robots. Eventually we may be unaware of all the ways our lives could be different; we are unable to even see what we are missing. We feel like losers.

If you have been caught up in an endless cycle of meaningless activities on the road to nowhere, it's not your fault. You didn't know any better. You worked at a job you didn't like in order to make money to buy things you didn't need. You became a slave to financial institutions who tricked you and lied to you. Your physical and mental health suffered because of stress and pressure you felt to achieve goals set by someone else. Your relationships suffered because you focused too much on your job/career and your finances. As a result, you couldn't find time or energy to do something worthwhile with your life, to achieve a meaningful goal or make the world a better place. You may even feel that God has deserted you.

You are not alone.

If you're struggling in the job market or financially, you are part of the majority of Americans. These are the facts:

• There are 140 million people in the labor force of the United States.
• The official unemployment rate is around 10%--that's 14 million people out of work.
• But the real number is double that, more like 28 million people when you count those not officially included: part-time workers, temporary workers, those no longer qualified for unemployment benefits; and the dropouts (those who gave up on finding a job or returned to school).
• Studies show that 55% of working people (77 million) fear losing their jobs and feel out of control. They are afraid that without a paycheck, they'll also lose their cars, their homes, and won't be able to feed their families.
• So, more than 70% of Americans are experiencing difficulties and fear in the job market.

Why are you struggling to hold onto or regain something you never really wanted in the first place?

Recent studies conclude that at least 50% of working people in the United States are actually unhappy in their jobs. That's half. No one is polling the recently unemployed, the persistently unemployed, or those desperately trying to get back into the types of jobs they were working in before.

I contend that people are trying to secure new jobs that are similar to those they've done before only because they have been brainwashed to believe that's what they must do. Certainly everyone needs to work in order to make money to support themselves and their families, but if people truly had a choice, would the jobs they've lost (or left behind) really be the same jobs they'd want back if they had the opportunity to make a different choice? I believe the answer is, “No.”

When reviewing the larger picture of your life, what do you see?

Certainly the ups and downs of life present us with challenges. But many of our challenges are a result of the wrong thinking indoctrination we have been programmed to believe. We believe happiness is just around the corner if only we do this thing or that thing, that happiness will be found and the respect of others gained by achieving society's goals; that earning enough money will automatically eliminate all of our other problems. We have been programmed to believe that any sacrifices of our physical health, relationships and spiritual well being made while we seek career success are worth it. But most people are disappointed to realize after securing their respectable dream job that it does not result in the happiness they worked so hard to achieve. They realize that they were chasing goals that actually prevented them from living in the NOW—which is all there is.

If your obituary were written today, what would it say about your life? How would you want to be remembered? How would you like your accomplishments in life to be honored?

Sit down now and write the things that would be important to mention about the five key areas of life: your job/career, your financial stability, your marriage and family, your physical vitality, and the ways you give back to society.

I was at a funeral recently for a hard-working man who died in his eighties. For over an hour one person after another stood up and conveyed memories of their times spent with him. Each person presented a different observation of the man's admirable qualities, based on their personal interactions with him. No one spoke of his career accomplishments or his financial success. Finally, a little elderly woman slowly stood up. “In the end,” she said, “the best that can be said of him is: He was a good man!” Everyone in the room nodded in agreement.

Rewrite the story of your life to be more than your job/career.

Certainly facing a job/career or financial crisis is very scary and stressful. Not knowing when you'll get your next paycheck or if you'll be able to hang onto your job (if you still have one) can become an all-consuming worry. But look at the positive side of your situation: If you are struggling in the job market or financially—and perhaps you have nothing to lose—this is a great opportunity to reinvent your life to be exactly what you want it to be. By seeing that trying to live up to society's expectations did not guarantee your success, or happiness, but only resulted in disappointment and disillusionment, you are in the most powerful position of your entire life. Instead of being afraid, for one day, allow yourself to view your situation as having unlimited possibilities. Now is your chance to create the life you really want, a life that is truly meaningful. Now you can begin living your second life.

Playing the game of life to win.

Winning at the game of life requires achieving balance in all five key areas of life. This isn't always easy, particularly when we have been indoctrinated to believe that the dictates of society's rules are more important than honoring our life purpose by mastering our God-given gifts.

The ideal is that each of us is a sum total of all that God has given:

- Our job/career provides us the financial resources to support ourselves and loved ones materially while giving back to society.

- Our physical health is the vehicle that houses the soul and carries us through our every day endeavors.  

- Our relationships (with ourselves and others) are a reflection of our values, principles and beliefs.

- Our spirituality provides the consciousness of living in Oneness with all other living things by being of service to others in our every day lives while fulfilling our own life purpose using our God-given gifts.