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Bilateral Trust

Guest post by: Robert Whipple

Article Overview: Many leaders tend to forget that trust needs to be bilateral to really work. They need to trust people if people are going to trust them. This article puts some perspective on this idea and offers some concrete suggestions.

Bilateral Trust

Trust has to work both ways. People need to trust you and you need to trust them. If you really trust people, it shows. There are hundreds of ways you demonstrate faith in people to do the right thing. This is something you cannot fake. Be willing to experience the negative consequences of a mistake made by someone you trust. That is a hard lesson but, if you can do it, the rewards far outweigh the penalties.

Occasionally you will have to eat crow because someone was late with a submission, but most of the time people will be giving extra effort because you have faith in them. When people describe why they go the extra mile for an outstanding leader, they often say, "She believes in me. I would do anything to keep from disappointing her." When you put your faith in people, 95% of the time they will go way beyond normal effort and 5% of the time they will drop the ball. Those are very good odds.

You will be amazed at the creativity and initiative people exhibit when you trust them. Self-esteem will be high, and they will enjoy the work even while pushing themselves to the limit. Occasionally, they may over-commit and fall short of expectations. Handle this with empathy and it will be a learning opportunity, a chance to enhance the relationship rather than a time of remorse. Nobody feels good when they fail. As a leader, you have the opportunity to help people through that letdown with grace and class.

Allow People to Fail

We grow more by trying and failing than by taking the safe course. Leaders who protect people from failure are holding the reigns too tightly. People need to pursue their own path sometimes, even if it's not one you would have chosen. It is a delicate balance. You don't want people to fail, but they must be free to innovate. Let people do their job and don't "micromanage." Usually things will work out for the best. You will also be getting the maximum energy available. People work twice as hard to make their own ideas work.

If people run into problems, become a coach and help them learn from the experience. This is a good opportunity to reinforce their initiative. You do need to be forthright that an error occurred. Don't sugarcoat the situation, but manage the discussion to maintain self-esteem.

When people try but fail, the best advice is to follow the Golden Rule. Simple kindness is often overlooked in the rush of critical work. If you reverse roles and treat the employee the way you would want to be treated, little damage will be done. In addition, you can help adjust their workload or working conditions to enhance their chances for success in the future.

Tell the Truth

Never try to snow people, individually or in groups. When leaders watch their words so they are not technically lying, but also not telling the truth, people know it instinctively. Recall when former President Bill Clinton answered a question with "That depends on what the meaning of the word, 'is', is." Everyone in the country saw through that smokescreen and his reputation was damaged even more.

Here is another example. Let's suppose there is a rumor going around that your plant will be closing soon. You have a meeting and someone asks you point-blank if the plant will close. Rather than say "I don't know about any final decision", try: "I am privy to discussions that could affect us, but I cannot share them yet because they are confidential. I do know they have not made a decision yet. I can tell you we expect a decision by next Tuesday, and you can count on a report from me on or before that time." With either statement, people will be on edge (you really can't prevent that), but with the second one you have accomplished 3 things. First, you are telling them the truth and they know it. Second, you are giving them the best information you can, along with a time frame for further information. Third, you are assuring them that they will hear from you personally as soon as you can reveal a decision.

Dealing with the issue of truth is a study in itself. There are numerous perspectives, from being consistent with your values to not hiding facts from people. The key pointis to realize your integrity with people is directly coupled to the trust level you achieve. Leaders who place the highest value on truth will attain and sustain higher levels of trust than leaders who attempt to finesse things. Realize that people are more perceptive at picking up lies or half-truths than you think. As you seek to model integrity in your own arena, it models the way for others. Another way to emphasize integrity is to reinforce people when you observe them making the hard choice to do the right thing despite the consequences.

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Article Tags: bilateral, Leadership, success, trust



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