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E-Mail Tip #16 - The Online Power Struggle

Guest post by: Robert Whipple

Article Overview: We need to get good at reading between the lines in e-mail to extract the maximum information. This article is a case example where a power struggle is going on between two individuals.

E-Mail Tip #16 - The Online Power Struggle

Consider this note.

• Hi Ann, I was wondering if you could take the time to explain what was behind your note from this morning. You said that our group never told you about the Washington event until last week. I know for a fact that Jill brought it up in one of your staff meetings, and I sent you a personal e-mail asking if you had any volunteers for the committee. Is this just a memory lapse, or is there something going on between our two groups?

On the surface, this note seems straightforward. Mark is looking for clarification about Ann's note because his facts are different from hers. That is what the text says. What is the meaning between the lines, and what are the symptoms or clues to this meaning?

First, there is likely a power struggle going on between Mark and Ann. The first clue is in the words, "if you could take the time." While this sounds like a courteous invitation, it probably signals a defensiveness with Mark because he feels inferior to Ann. There is also more than a hint of disdain in the wording. Ann has control; Mark resents it and is trying to wrest some of it away from her. In a situation like this, if the two were equal in power, Mark would have worded the start of this note something like this: "Hi Ann - I was confused about your note this morning..."

What is the hidden meaning in the second sentence? Is Mark really trying to refresh Ann's memory? Probably not, since Ann's note was written just a few hours ago. He is playing a chess game here. He has hard evidence that Ann's statement is false. He wants to highlight her exact words before he accuses her of something insidious. This is equivalent to the "discovered check" in the game of chess. You advance one piece to attack an opponent's piece, but in doing so, you reveal that you have (seemingly inadvertently) put your opponent in check with a piece behind the one you moved. Now your opponent is forced to deal with the check and cannot defend against your original advance. Mark has set Ann up for the kill in the second sentence, which sounds like a gentle reminder.

Now Mark reveals his two bits of evidence. His preface before the first one is interesting. Why did he write, "I know for a fact"? It is understood that he knows or he wouldn't write it. Here he is cornering Ann. Unless she can somehow debunk his example with a counter point, he has proven her to be incorrect. The preface serves merely as a warning not to refute the accusation unless she has overwhelming evidence to the contrary. The second bit of evidence reveals a chink in Mark's armor. He writes, "...and I sent you a personal e-mail asking if you had any volunteers for the committee." This is probably accurate information. It shows that Mark did not inform Ann about the Washington event per se. Instead, his e-mail asked for volunteers to serve on the committee. Asking another manager to share resources is entirely different from informing her of an upcoming event. When Ann read Mark's original note asking for help, she probably saw this as a power play to steal resources away from her. She probably did not focus on this as an opportunity for her group to attend an event.

Now Mark challenges Ann. First, he belittles her with his statement, "...Is this just a memory lapse..." Mark is not really interested in her memory. He wants her to appear small and prone to mistakes. This snide, nearly sarcastic comment is intended to put Ann on the defensive as she ponders his final question, "...or is there something going on between our two groups?"

Mark's intention is to put Ann in a no-win position. It is like asking the question, "Do you still beat your wife?"

This note is not intended to clarify the situation or induce a courteous reply. Mark is playing politics here, and he thinks he has just backed Ann into a corner. Mark believes the note will help elevate the status of his group and embarrass Ann and her group. That objective is the real intent of his note.

What would be Ann's response? If she takes Mike's bait, it might read something like this:

• "I don't like the tone of your note, Mark. It sounds adversarial in nature, and we have been trying our best to work with you and your people. Getting into a shouting match over this little issue is hardly the way for professionals to act. The note you originally sent to me is attached. You clearly did not inform me of the Washington event as you stated in your note today.

Instead, you were trying to get my people to take the burden of planning an event, when that was the job of your group. Sorry, pal - no go. You were correct that Jill mentioned a future event in Washington at a staff meeting three months ago. She did not give any specifics or even a date. It was just an FYI comment. Mark, I would suggest that before you go accusing my group of hiding information, get your facts straight, and please refrain from using inflammatory language in interoffice e-mails."

ƒn Cc: President Watson

Of course, this email from Ann will only pour kerosene on the fire. It is ill advised. Actually, it makes Ann look worse than Mark. She is accusing him of using inflammatory language while using it herself. By sending a copy to the president, Ann has raised the stakes considerably. In the real world, these two notes might become the start of a long and bitter battle. In reality, the battle was going on well before these notes, but the existence of these e-mails will make the issues, and the pettiness, public forever.

Ann could have made a wiser reply to the original e-mail with something like:

• "Hi Mark. Thank you for your note. There are some misunderstandings, and they can be easily resolved. I will give you a call tomorrow morning to clarify the points. I hope this is helpful."

With this note, Ann looks classy. First, she is polite. Second, while not admitting blame, she is approaching Mark on a strong but equal footing. Third, she has volunteered to take the initiative for getting the matter resolved. If she had asked Mark to come and see her or call her, the note would have had an entirely different flavor. Finally, she ends the note with a classy statement indicating her desire to help. This note gives Mark no way to escalate the acrimony. Notice also that Ann has elected to take this potential squabble offline. The matter will be resolved between these two managers on the phone or face to face. Any rancor or cheap shots will not be recorded for posterity. In this exchange, Mark looks like a hot head because his manipulative note is there for all to see, and Ann is the calm peacemaker. By not taking the bait, Ann comes out on top.

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Article Tags: email, leadership, Online, Power Struggle, trust



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