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E-Mail Tip #17 - Matching Words with Body Language

Guest post by: Robert Whipple

Article Overview: E-mail has a kind of Body Language, and if the words do not match the body language there is going to be confusion at best and open warfare at worst. This article shares an example of a mismatch between Body Language and words and gives an antidote.

E-Mail Tip #17 - Matching Words with Body Language

We can pick apart an example where the body language is different from the words used. Here is a note from a product manager (Sam) to one of the members of the sales force (Jules).

• "Hi Jules, I noticed that, even with your efforts with the McKenzie account, the quota for shavers in February was not met. I would like to highlight your story in an upcoming staff meeting if you are agreeable."

Notice the words and situation in this note sound negative, but the tone is actually neutral to slightly positive. The result is an ambiguous message. First, Sam acknowledges the effort put forth by Jules. When the statement about making quota is made, the wording focuses on the "quota not being met," rather than "Jules missing his quota." Notice the difference in tone if Sam had written,

• "...even with your efforts with the McKenzie account, you failed to make the quota for shavers in February."

By making the focus "quota" rather than "Jules," it changes the body language from a certain negative to a potentially positive note.

The final sentence could actually be a positive invitation for Jules, especially with the last phrase, "if you are agreeable." Jules could share how effort with a particular account can build up equity, even if a quota is not reached in a particular month. Perhaps Sam believes the problem is that the quota has been set too high. With a slightly different wording, this sentence would have guaranteed negative body language. Sam could have written,

• "Please come to the next staff meeting to explain your story."

There is no invitation here; it is a command performance. Substituting the word "explain" for the word "highlight," changes the entire flavor of the note. To "explain" in this context means to "defend," while the word "highlight" could easily mean to "brag."

Here is how the original note could have been phrased to have positive body language and less ambiguity. Notice how similar this message is to the original note. Only a few words were changed.

• "Hi Jules, I noticed that, even with your extra effort with the McKenzie account, the quota for shavers in February was not met. Our quota may have been too optimistic. I would like to highlight your excellent work in an upcoming staff meeting if you are agreeable."

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Article Tags: body language, Email, leadership, trust



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