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Guest post by: Robert Whipple Become an Author

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One of the telltale gestures in body language is one of openness. When someone is listening to you with hands facing, palms up, it usually means this person is open to the input. What does that look like in cyberspace? Any of the following expressions will supply the same meaning:

• "I am interested in your reaction."

• "Your advice on this would be helpful."

• "I am open to suggestions."

• "Your creative ideas are always welcome."

• "We value your opinion."

These expressions connote the opposite reaction:

• "We have studied this and come to the conclusion that..."

• "I am sure you agree that..."

• "I am moving forward with Plan B."

• "Nobody knows what's going on."

• "Your idea was interesting, but..."

Keeping an Open Mind

Good communication requires give and take, regardless of the mode. Your e-mail communications will be better in the long run if you keep in mind that your opinions are simply that. If you keep an open mind to the possibility that other opinions are equally valid, you will enjoy more candor and trust between you and your readers. It sounds obvious to say that, but many people write e-mails as if they are writing down the gospel. Here are two e-mails from the same person on the same issue. Notice how the first one assumes a command and control body language while the second one invites a more participative style.

Too much command and control language

• "We have been working on this new design for almost three months, and we are not getting anywhere. With all this effort, we should have some forward progress to show for it. I think we need to take an entirely different approach on the front section. It is best to scrap the current design and start with a clean piece of paper. This may seem like a step backward, but I have seen many times how a fresh start can actually save time in the long run."

A more participative approach

• "We have been working on this design for almost three months, and the progress is limited. We have had some victories, but the front section keeps failing. I am seeking your opinion on whether we should continue making incremental improvements or start anew. On the Mainline project, we started over in mid-stream, and it actually led to a faster completion. We were able to apply what we already knew about the process in a new way very quickly. Some of you may feel a big breakthrough in the current design is at hand, so I am testing the logic before advocating starting over."

Here is another example using a personnel issue.

Too much of a know-it-all

• "Frank should be recognized specifically for his work on the Bradford merger. Even though it was a team effort, Frank is the person who really made it happen. I suggest you have a meeting and give him an award for his excellent service."

Leaving some room for other opinions

• "I would like to find the appropriate way to reinforce Frank for his work on the Bradford merger. Because he was leading a team effort, it may be better to have a group celebration and thank him within that context. I will leave it up to your judgment."

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