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E-mail Tip #13 - Don't Take Cheap Shots

Guest post by: Robert Whipple

Article Overview: Because people exchanging e-mails are usually not in the same room (we cannot say this about texting!) often it seems safer to take a "cheap shot" that we would not take if the person was facing us. This is usually a big mistake. Recoginze this and avoid it in your e-mail communications.

E-mail Tip #13 - Don't Take Cheap Shots

Some e-mails are laced with acerbic statements that tend to inflame the reader. Be alert for parenthetical expressions that reveal the mood of the writer. For example, here is a note that would be no problem, but the writer had to add a little barb that changes the entire tone of the note.

• "Jacob has come through again with another stellar quarter. It is amazing to witness his consistent skill at bringing in volume just when we need it. His methods (although viewed by some as too aggressive) should be studied and understood by all of our sales team."

Without the parenthetical expression, this note would be highly complimentary and reinforcing. Instead, it has the feel of a complete put-down. Jacob will not be reinforced at all by this note, and other sales people will get the message to refrain from following his lead. The additional comment is an incongruent "cheap shot" that does not belong in a note for public consumption.

Here is another e-mail that contains a throwaway line that should have been deleted.

• "It is wonderful to see the entire team hard at work long after the normal quitting time, although their start time is sometimes a little late."

Notice the qualifying conjunction "although," which tends to devalue the preceding thought. This kind of note does a lot of damage and should be avoided. The message after the word "although" is all that will be remembered. The "cheap shot" is quickly taken, but the damage can last for years. This is especially true with online communications because the evidence lasts forever. Every cheap shot is a trust withdrawal. Avoid doing this damage even though the temptation is sometimes almost overwhelming. This goes for humor as well. Avoid making a joke that puts down other people. They will get even somehow.

Some people are so defensive or aggressive that they are beyond reason. It is extremely difficult to maintain trust in an organization if there is even one of these people in the group.

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Article Tags: cheap shot, email, leadership, sarcasm, trust



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