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Reinforce People Who Challenge

Guest post by: Robert Whipple

Article Overview: A key leadership skill is to be able to reinforce people who challenge you. This is prticularly hard to do if the challenge is made in public. This article will provide some interesting dimensions on this issue and offer some advice.

Reinforce People Who Challenge

Punishing people when they bring up inconsistencies creates a trust withdrawal. This is particularly damaging because it diminishes the potential for future trust-building dialog. Stephen Covey describes it this way in his book, "Principle-Centered Leadership": "Too often we punish honest, open expressions or questions. We upbraid, judge, belittle, embarrass. Others learn to cover up, to protect themselves, to not ask. The greatest single barrier to rich, honest communication is the tendency to criticize and judge."

Reinforcing people who point out problems builds trust. It is the heart of my model on building trust. I call it "reinforcing candor." Once it starts, you have more opportunities for additional growth of trust. If an associate points out an inconsistency, this is a teachable moment where you have an opportunity to demonstrate the art of building trust.

This is one of the most difficult thingsfor any leader to do consistently. It is only natural to become defensive when someone is poking at your actions. You need a mechanism to allow reinforcement of open dialog on difficult subjects.

Try to develop a reflex reaction to hearing things that are upsetting. When a person tells you something hard to swallow (especially if it's about you), human nature causes you to go into "fight or flight" thinking. Instead, train yourself to resist the temptation to lash back when someone points out a problem. They are giving you a golden opportunity to build trust, and besides, their analysis is often right! Internalize the point and let it sink in while remaining calm. As you "count to 10", identify how you can respond in a way that makes the person glad they brought it up. This is an extremely difficult skill to develop but the extent you do it will determine your expertise as a true leader. In fact, I believe it is the most important concept in the whole arena of leadership.



Noel Tichy described how employees speak out in no uncertain terms only when a leader has created an open and honest shop. More often, people simply become demoralized and ignore the values if the leader does, so getting "nailed to the wall" by people on occasion is a sign of things actually going right in the organization. It shows there is some level of trust.

Not getting enough pushback is a telltale sign that trust is compromised. It is a very sensitive barometer of trust. When things get quiet, do not assume everything is okay. Usually it's the opposite. Find out what is wrong and deal with it immediately. The analogy in nature is how the crickets stop chirping when danger is near.

As you reinforce people for being open, do it in ways that enhance individual self-esteem. When people speak out, they are going out on a limb emotionally. Reinforce them for taking that risk. Good leaders imagine themselves on the receiving end of these exchanges and try to follow the golden rule. If you are wrong, don't be too proud or let your ego block you from a humble apology.

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Article Tags: challenge, Leadership, put down, success, trust



Related Forum Posts
Rockin'! - I think the posts on here are really stimulating with a wide range of topics that will suit most people. Personally, I can't comment on all the topics as, well, to be truthful, I don't know much about some of the things. What I have found is that the group is generative with ideas and solutions and above all - and this is vital in a forum - supportive of each other without being negative about the actions of others. Challenge is one thing, the comments you sometimes read on some forums to tear the guts out of people is unhelpful. The community here makes it a good place. Thank you.
Re: Kevin's Case Study #3 - Promoting something you can't try - I agree with ltrahan. People generally have to see it to believe it these days. I know I would want to.
Re: What's in a Name? - First of all your brand name should be short and speaking. People should remember your name and associate it with your services.
Re: How can I use this forum to market my company? - Indeed this forum is a great place for your business promotion. People are looking into it seriously and i have been getting a lot of positive response.
Re: new at this and need to get moving - Hi Glenn, This is a good place to come for ideas. People are very open and willing to share. What is the product you sell?


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