Reinforce People Who Challenge

Guest post by: Robert Whipple
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Situational Transparency - By Robert Whipple

Punishing people when they bring up inconsistencies creates a trust withdrawal. This is particularly damaging because it diminishes the potential for future trust-building dialog. Stephen Covey describes it this way in his book, "Principle-Centered Leadership": "Too often we punish honest, open expressions or questions. We upbraid, judge, belittle, embarrass. Others learn to cover up, to protect themselves, to not ask. The greatest single barrier to rich, honest communication is the tendency to criticize and judge."

Reinforcing people who point out problems builds trust. It is the heart of my model on building trust. I call it "reinforcing candor." Once it starts, you have more opportunities for additional growth of trust. If an associate points out an inconsistency, this is a teachable moment where you have an opportunity to demonstrate the art of building trust.

This is one of the most difficult thingsfor any leader to do consistently. It is only natural to become defensive when someone is poking at your actions. You need a mechanism to allow reinforcement of open dialog on difficult subjects.

Try to develop a reflex reaction to hearing things that are upsetting. When a person tells you something hard to swallow (especially if it's about you), human nature causes you to go into "fight or flight" thinking. Instead, train yourself to resist the temptation to lash back when someone points out a problem. They are giving you a golden opportunity to build trust, and besides, their analysis is often right! Internalize the point and let it sink in while remaining calm. As you "count to 10", identify how you can respond in a way that makes the person glad they brought it up. This is an extremely difficult skill to develop but the extent you do it will determine your expertise as a true leader. In fact, I believe it is the most important concept in the whole arena of leadership.

Noel Tichy described how employees speak out in no uncertain terms only when a leader has created an open and honest shop. More often, people simply become demoralized and ignore the values if the leader does, so getting "nailed to the wall" by people on occasion is a sign of things actually going right in the organization. It shows there is some level of trust.

Not getting enough pushback is a telltale sign that trust is compromised. It is a very sensitive barometer of trust. When things get quiet, do not assume everything is okay. Usually it's the opposite. Find out what is wrong and deal with it immediately. The analogy in nature is how the crickets stop chirping when danger is near.

As you reinforce people for being open, do it in ways that enhance individual self-esteem. When people speak out, they are going out on a limb emotionally. Reinforce them for taking that risk. Good leaders imagine themselves on the receiving end of these exchanges and try to follow the golden rule. If you are wrong, don't be too proud or let your ego block you from a humble apology.

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Situational Transparency - By Robert Whipple

About the Author: Robert Whipple

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Robert Whipple is CEO of Leadergrow Incorporated, an organization dedicated to development of leaders. He has spoken on leadership topics and the development of trust in numerous venues across the country. He is author of three leadership books: The Trust Factor: Advanced Leadership for Professionals, Understanding E-Body Language: Building Trust Online, and Leading with Trust is Like Sailing Downwind. His ability to communicate pragmatic approaches to building Trust in an entertaining and motivational format has won him top ranking wherever he speaks. Audiences relate to his material enthusiastically because it is simple, yet profound. His work has earned him the popular title of The TRUST Ambassador. Mr. Whipple has been published in several Leadership and Training journals including Leadership Excellence Magazine and T+D Training + Development Journal. He is a frequent contributor to The Rochester Business Journal. He has been named one of the top 50 thought leaders on the topic of leadership development by Leadership Excellence Magazine and one of the top 100 Thought Leaders on Trustworthy Business Practices by Trust Across America. Mr. Whipple has a BSME, MSChE, MBA and is a Certified Professional in Learning and Performance (CPLP). Contact at www.leadergrow.com or 585-392-7763
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