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Yelling Telling and Selling

Guest post by: Robert Whipple

Article Overview: I saw an employee survey the other day where several employees referred to their supervisor’s style of giving instructions as “yelling.” It started me thinking about that word. This article compares the yelling style with telling and selling.

Yelling Telling and Selling

Sometimes my wife complains that I am "yelling" at her. Perhaps sometimes I actually do raise my voice, but most times when she says that, I have been talking rationally with a normal tone of voice only the topic was some kind of disagreement or complaint on my part.

Why would she identify this behavior as yelling? I think when someone is hearing something unpleasant, it often comes across as far more menacing than was intended. Probably in the listener's mind the decibel level is truly elevated even if it objectively is not. I do admit there are rare occasions where I will lose self control and raise my voice. My wife does that to me as well. I think there is an element of human nature in an occasional outburst.

The issue at work is that often there are many witnesses so a raised voice is noticed by many people simultaneously. Of course, there are the bull-in-a-china-shop supervisors who rule by intimidation. They actually do "yell" at people to get their attention and feel it is a good technique for managing people. The problem is that the bull really does not realize there is china around at all. The bull is just being a bull, but the china gets broken anyway.

The obvious antidote is to turn down the volume from yelling to telling. This means softening the voice to take the accusatory edge off the tone and make the communication more matter of fact. It is a good idea to pause and take a deep breath when tempted to yell and just think about the impact. It is often enough time to reframe the information in a more positive way. Taking a deep breath is also a calming influence on the body, so it really helps prevent an unfortunate outburst.

A further improvement is to move from telling to selling. This is where you look for a win-win solution that makes all parties glad of the compromise. Then you are in the envious position of convincing the employee that it is in his or her best interest to modify the behavior. Now you are both on the same side, and can have a rational and helpful discussion. Employees who are approached by this technique are far more willing to listen and really hear the message.

When an employee does not have to be defensive, he or she can think clearly and absorb information more accurately, so the supervisor who practices "WOO" which stands for Winning Others Over has the advantage of people more willingly following critical instructions. Try the selling approach to communication more often. Usually it works wonders.

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Article Tags: communications, leadership, selling, telling, Yelling



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Re: Kevin's Case Study #10 - When to become an entrepreneur? - When the bug bite you. A lot of successful entrepreneurs started in their teens or at school. Selling sweets to fellow students or lemonade to firends in the neighbourhood.
Re: This is Marketing Warfare! - Hey GT, I guess this was from a while back, and it'll test your memory a bit but could you possibly elaborate on Unique Selling Proposition? Can you give us some examples of good USPs?
Re: Social Media Marketing - Corporate Vs. Small Business - [quote="WebBizIdeas.com":y4tmwxf6]Telling your dorky friends at school you are having a big party does nothing...having the coolest kid in school tell some people about your party is all it takes...that is Social Media Marketing. Jeff[/quote:y4tmwxf6] Hi Jeff, So what recommendations do you have for influencing the most popular "kid in school" (i.e. the person with the most influence in your related industry) to promote your products/services?
Blog pinging - Thanks Martin - yes, I do ping and it has been very effective. I'm currently on the first page of Google for Mastermind Group and on the second page for Selling to Small Business.
Business magazines - Fast Company is pretty good if you're into technology although it can be very on the edge. Entrepreneur has become one giant advertisement and I cancelled my subscription. Selling Power also has some useful content if you're looking at improving your sales skills / presentations.


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