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The Diamond That Didn't Shine

Guest post by: Jeff Evans

Article Overview: A fledgling climber learns the hard way how to deal with fear and adversity.

The Diamond That Didn't Shine

The Diamond is a 1,500 foot glistening rock face on the east side of Long’s Peak, in Rocky Mountain National Park. To me, every mountain is a magical place, but the Diamond especially so. With a granite face infused with composite metals, it gleams red, green, yellow, and black, as if God cut a perfectly sharpened flat surface into the side of an already beautiful mountain and left the exposed jewels to shine in the sun. Besides its natural beauty, climbers love the Diamond because it offers a unique technical challenge. Its face extends more than five-hundred yards at a magnificent angle, making it more like scaling the Sears tower than the side of a mountain.

All of this came to mind when a friend, Lou, asked me if I’d be interested in taking a crack at it. Lou was a lot like me at the time, except maybe that he had dirt bag seniority. I was still fairly new to climbing, living in a basement somewhere and washing dishes a couple times a week to earn the small amount of money I needed for gear and meals. Lou had taken this philosophy even further, forgoing the basement and menial labor. Some people might have thought twice about looking up to a homeless person as a role model, but he had been climbing a year or so longer than I had so, in my eyes, he was a hero.

Besides, I was eager to give the Diamond a go, and was a bit embarrassed not to have tried it before. It was, as I remember reading once, ‘something any serious mountaineer must attempt.’ I knew I was serious, and this one was in my back yard. Thinking of the climb itself left a pit in my stomach, but I could no longer bear to hear my friends talk about their adventures on the face. While he didn’t say so, I’m sure Lou felt the same way. Neither of us had so much as hiked up to the base before. Our pride was on the line, and we were going to go and set things right.

A three-hour hike took us through an alpine trail dotted with robust pines and sun soaked aspens that led to the area where we would begin our ascent in earnest. Breaking through the last section of dense forest, we were deposited into the valley where we’d get our first look at the Diamond up close. It’s hard to describe what I felt, but I could tell my stomach was already against the idea. The immediate stabbing pain in my gut was accompanied by a lightheaded sensation. My pulse jumped and my mouth numbed. Put another way, I was terrified. This was not going to be as easy as I’d imagined. Staring up at the steep face, the words bad idea came to mind again and again. I glanced over at Lou. He wore the thin, forced smile of a man overcome with dread. He turned to face me, and we shared an uncomfortable moment where neither of us could find the words to rescue ourselves from our conundrum.

We had come to salvage our pride, and neither of us wanted to be the one to back down. We were in way over our heads, and we both knew it, but our self-respect wasn’t going to allow us to save ourselves. We didn’t find much conversation as we set up camp for a short night of listless sleep, neither of us speaking about the elephant in the room. We didn’t have to – it was staring us down from a hundred yards away.

Throughout the short night I had writhed listlessly in my sleeping bag, and could hear Lou doing the same. As the hours wore on, I cursed the calm weather. I wished for a spot of wind or rain, anything to cover the silence of our sleeplessness, interrupted only by our tossing and turning. Our fear of what to come was making us writhe and squirm like children in a dentist’s waiting room. When the alarm went off at 3 a.m., I was relieved. We gathered our gear by the moonlight, double and triple- checking each piece in our collection. I stayed quiet, afraid that my voice would betray me and crack with fear. Finally, there was nothing to do but begin.

Lou took the first pitch, a section of vertical climbing one rope-length long, about two-hundred feet. We roped into each other and our gear, taking special care with the knots we were relying upon to save us if we fell. Then, Lou made his first reaches upward. He went slowly, each movement tentative, a stark contrast to the brisk pace we were used to making together. I led the next section, following Lou’s deliberate, hesitant example. We continued on, one pitch after another, trying not to look down at the earth slowly sinking below us, or the more menacing areas still waiting above. The hours passed and we crawled our way a bit further up, one rope length at a time. These approach pitches took us through to the base of the route, setting us up for the challenge ahead. Finally, near day break, we had come to the section of the Diamond that set it apart – the vertical cliff that extends upward for hundreds of feet.

As dangerous and awe-inspiring as the geometry of the face is, the truly terrifying thing about the Diamond is that it’s on the East side. That would be a trivial fact, except weather typically comes in from the West, hidden by the mountain itself. The side of a mountain, or a rock face, is the last place you want to be when a storm moves in. Wind, snow, hail, and lightning are all extremely dangerous at altitude. Worst of all, high alpine conditions can change very rapidly, sometimes in minutes. Like an alcoholic uncle, these storms can show up at any time, but tend to avoid the mornings. Afternoons tend to be particularly treacherous; the sun has had time to heat up the earth, throw some moisture in the air and start causing trouble. That’s why most climbers start out for the summit in the middle of the night or early morning hours. To summit at dawn isn’t only beautiful, it could also save your life.

We had gotten an early start, but were progressing slowly. The sun had crawled over the horizon hours before, and we were only now ready to begin the more demanding work ahead. The forecast had been clear, and I knew we were fortunate for the calm winds and bright morning. However, as we paused for a momentary rest, I looked up and noticed the faintest shred of white moving in over the summit, directly above us. It didn’t look to be so much a cloud as it did a spray of mist in the air, but I pointed it out to Lou. He took it in with a look of deep concern as both of us stared, unspeaking, at the minute whisper of water floating by above us. As much of a concern as weather is on a mountain, we knew it was nothing. Nonetheless, it was an excuse that could get us out of a place we didn’t want to be. I didn’t want to appear too eager to give up. We sat in an awkward hush for several moments. Finally, Lou broke the silence. “Well, what do you think?” “Hmm,” I answered, pretending to think on it deeply. I frowned and shook my head a bit. “Could get nasty. We don’t want to get caught up here in that. Might not be safe.” And then the clincher, “I couldn’t live with myself if I pushed this and something happened to you.” Lou paused, as if greatly pained. “It doesn’t look like much,” he nearly whispered. What? How could he say that? I was struck again with fear. He was holding too tightly to his dignity, and if he kept it up, we just might have to climb this thing. Luckily, whatever part of my brain generates excuses went into overdrive. “I think I see some gray,” I volunteered. Gray? Had I really just said that? “Well, perhaps we should call it a day and give it a try some other time.” He tried to sound sorry, but the relief in his voice was palpable. I played along, adding that we’d made a good run at it, but the conditions just weren’t right. The conversation continued on and on as we sped our way down to the base. We’d love to finish this, we told ourselves and each other, but the weather!

Two hours later, after we’d reached the safety of flat ground in record time, Lou and I admired the perfectly clear crystal- blue sky. We patted ourselves on the back for being such careful climbers, and for being so concerned with each other’s safety. Of course, we each knew we were lying. The truth was, we were out of our league, and so stricken with fear we could barely move. There’s nothing wrong with that, but, we were also both too proud to admit it, which had forced us into a bad situation and left us feeling worse. Months later, after we’d both had a good deal more practice and preparation, we went back to the Diamond and climbed it successfully. We knew what we were doing and didn’t have to invent excuses for our lack of progress. The ascent itself was pretty unremarkable. The route was even tougher than we’d imagined at the top, but this time we were ready for the challenge. The sensation of completing a tough climb was good. Beating back my fears was even better. Retreat is not surrender. If you find yourself in over your head, it’s better to face up to that and come back when you’re ready. The first time I’d gone to the Diamond I was looking for a way out. The second time, I was looking for a way to get it done.

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Article Tags: alpine trail, aspens, beautiful mountain, climbers, couple times, flat surface, friend lou, granite face, homeless person, magical place, menial labor, mountaineer, rock face, rocky mountain national park, rsquo, sears tower, seniority, side of a mountain, technical challenge, washing dishes



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