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“Blue Zone” Leaders grow others

Written by: Douglas Long

Article Overview: The brain of a leader is one that accepts today's reality but knows that the future can be better. Key to bringing about this better future is the facilitation of growth in other people. Working from his experience of helping those who have been abused and disadvantaged, Doug Long provides some simple behaviours that leaders can use in order to bring about the future we desire for individuals as well as for society at large.

“Blue Zone” Leaders grow others

She was absolutely beautiful. She was slim with long golden-red hair, beautiful brown eyes, and an exquisitely chiselled nose. These were the features that first attracted your attention. Everyone who saw her took a second look. It was love at first sight. The hair determined the name: she had to be "Honey".

But at 2 years old her life so far had been far from what she deserved. This gorgeous Belgian Shepherd had been beaten with brooms or any other instruments to hand - by the women who owned her. Her jaw had been broken and some of her teeth had been knocked out. She had been badly abused. Now she had been rescued by the RSPCA and given short term shelter by a Belgian Shepherd breeder friend of ours; but she needed a new home. When we met, Honey was cowering away from the others and her eyes held a look of apprehension. Winning her trust was never going to be easy: helping her grow into a mature, well adjusted dog was a task worth taking on but with no guarantees of success.

Honey turns 10 this year. Yes, she has arthritis and now she walks slowly and with a limp - but she loves her walks and is a wonderful companion who soaks up love and gives love and affection to the family - but, at times, there are still hints of apprehension in her eyes and in her demeanour even though for 8 years she has never been struck, shouted at, or experienced any other punitive action. Deep down the experiences of those first 2 years have caused a scar that even a long time with a loving, caring family cannot fully heal.

Honey is not dissimilar from some people with whom I have worked over the past 40 years. Back in 1970 I started involvement with foster children - a young boy from a dysfunctional family who was given the chance of a life in new surroundings rather than being sent to a correctional facility. He lived with us for 2 years before starting an apprenticeship. Today he is a successful tradesman who employs others - especially young people who are having problems of their own - and who gets great satisfaction from seeing these people grow and develop. The scars of his early life are still there: but operating from 'the blue zone' (see "The Brain of the Leader") has enabled him to put things in perspective - something a person can do but a dog cannot.

There have been many others - not all of them success stories - and there are times when it's easy to despair about the chance of development occurring. But I still see some of them around and the one thing I find rewarding is that invariably they come up to me and express appreciation for the security, stability and encouragement that we provided - even if it was only for very short periods. Young people who had been thrown out of home or who were in trouble with the law; people who considered themselves unemployable for whom I have provided jobs or have assisted with job hunting; people who have been badly hurt and who will never totally recover from the mental and physical damage they have experienced. In my value set these are people with whom leaders should devote time and effort - failure to do so will mean today's societal problems continue unabated.

I believe true leaders grow others.

So what are the steps to facilitating growth in others?

• First, recognise that this will take time. The hurt and damage may have been done in a very short period: repairing that damage may take many years - and may never actually happen despite your best efforts. Have high expectations that the other will grow and develop - but be prepared to accept disappointment: and be willing to persevere even when the going gets really tough.
• Second, demonstrate absolute and total acceptance of the "other" as they are - everyone needs to know that he or she as a person is always totally accepted even if their behaviour isn't. Develop the ability to make clear the distinction between "the person" and "the behaviour" - and show "the person" that you genuinely care.
• Third, provide a place of total safety where they can feel secure and wanted - away from any form of violence including sarcasm, ridicule, and 'being shouted at' or being 'talked down'. This is especially important when the other drops back into past behaviour and again acts inappropriately.
• Fourth, start from where he or she is now - not from where you would like them to be: and move at his or her pace - not yours. Your respect of the other needs to be total and immediate: earning their respect and trust for yourself is a drawn-out and gradual process.
• Fifth, celebrate small successes. When we first met Honey, an initial success was for her to come to us and allow my wife and daughters to pet her - she was especially terrified of women because of the treatment she had received. Small successes when celebrated and reinforced tend to cascade.
• Sixth, be authentic. Let the other know when you are happy and/or unhappy with your life in general as well as with them. Be a role model that shows how to cope with life's various issues and problems - even if you feel you should cope with them differently. Let the other see that its "ok" to fail - the important thing is how you deal with "failure" and disappointment and with life in general.

In my experience, for this to be possible a leader needs to shift his or her brain's area of control from the 'red zone' to the 'blue zone'. I have discussed this in another article - The Brain of the Leader - and it is also discussed in The Success Zone (2009, Mowat, Corrigan & Long, Global Publishing Group, Australia)

And it also requires that we recognise "leadership" as being a life skill that is available to everyone - not just the "leaders" of government, business, religious bodies, society, etc.

In today's world there is an emphasis on immediacy. Services are measured by what they cost rather than by what they achieve. People are seen as "resources" that are capable of being changed when they reach their 'use by date'. Short term expediency trumps long term investment. Economic rationalism is still king - even if it has been exposed as an emperor without clothes.

Today there is an urgent need for true leaders and good leadership. And good leadership is focused on the future and centred on other people. The leaders we need are those who seek to create a better future for everyone - and that requires that we help everyone grow and develop.

I believe the future - including our economic future - belongs to those who recognise this and act on it.

Related Articles
  One of the Greatest Enemies to Leadership and Human Potential Is The Comfort Zone
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  Are You Working in the Red Zone, or Just Working?
  Third Generation Leadership - Developing 3G Leaders (I)
  The Brain of a Leader

Article Tags: blue zone, brain, good leadership, people development



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