Tweet

Dealing with Difficult Discussions

Guest post by: Anne Warfield

Article Overview: Where are you when your best ideas come to you? If you are like 90% of all people you get your best ideas when driving, in the shower, in the morning, when falling to sleep or when working out. Notice what is absent… the office. Your best ideas don’t come to you at work!

Dealing with Difficult Discussions

Where are you when your best ideas come to you? If you are like 90% of all people you get your best ideas when driving, in the shower, in the morning, when falling to sleep or when working out. Notice what is absent... the office. Your best ideas don't come to you at work!

They come to you when your mind is most open, free from clutter and your subconscious voice can be heard. Yet when we think about negotiations and difficult discussions we usually tackle solving them at the office where our communication skills can be the most limited. We, in effect, limit our solutions by limiting our thinking.

So what how can you use this to help you when you have to a difficult discussion?

First, take time to separate your self from the person, problem and the situation. You will find at work your mind will remain cluttered with all that surrounds it and you will have a hard time being fair and just.

Second, take a walk, listen to music, work out or just write out the problem and then take a break from it. What you are really doing is letting your subconscious mind take over and try to solve the problem.

Third, look at the problem ONLY from the other person's perspective. Try to think about what they may be trying to protect and why. Try to help them POSITIVELY reach their goal while getting to a resolution you both can live with.

Fourth, realize that in order to have a healthy discussion with a person you need to create a safe environment for them. Now by safe, I don't mean a conference room that is private and tucked away. By safe, I mean an atmosphere between the two of you that allows for candid yet nonjudgmental discussion. In our Outcome Focus ProGOtiations we teach you exactly how to create that space in how you THINK, LISTEN and SPEAK so the other person wants to listen to you.

If you know that you do not have that environment with the other person you need to admit that or you will come off as self-serving, condescending or patronizing during the discussion and you will do more damage and good.

Saying something like, "I know we don't see eye to eye and it may seem that I don't support your approach to our project. As I look at it I realized that I need to know the thinking behind the approach in order to support it. When I question you on your approach I must do it in a way that feels attacking or judgmental as I can sense you becoming defensive. So share with me how I can better ask questions, interact with me and probe together so we ensure the direction we are going is the correct one."

Now you have created a safe environment for candid discussion.

Related Articles
  Ten Key Facts About Dealing With Difficult People You Must Know
  Impact and Influence in Negotiation – See How They Plan and Organise
  Difficult People - General Principles
  Improve Qualitative Posts Through a Web Forum Software
  Ten Ways To Be Better At Dealing With Difficult People
  CAN TWO SALESPEOPLE REALLY BE THAT DIFFERENT?
  Addressing Difficult situations at Work
  How To Deal with People Who Bring Us Down
  How to successfully deal with difficult people....part 2
  2 Ways to Deal With Difficult Staff
  Do You Control Your Email or Does Your Email Control You
  Successfully Negotiate by Thinking Ahead
  Why 44% of Today’s Leaders Are Unhappy With Their Employees’ Performance
  Dealing with Sales Objections: Competitors
  Joy of Confrontation
  Ten Tips to Deal With Difficult People
  Council on Foreign Relations Tracks 2008 Candidates on Africa Policy
  The Diary of a Mad Sales Person
  Dealing with Sales Objections: Price
  Effective Forum Marketing Strategy

Article Tags: communication, discussion, ideas, problem, solution, thinking



Related Forum Posts
Re: how many hours do you spend in here per day? - Difficult to say.... I'd say I'm here an average of 30 minutes a day.... there's only five folders that I read every day... others I only read if there's some interesting post title...
Young Entrepreneur in International trading - I just turned 21 last week, and I currently own a international trading company doing trades between China, Taiwan, Thailand, and west coast of US and starting out in Canada soon. Dealing with gift items and general merchandise. We are also trying to sell some of the stuff we import as retail and wholesale products on the internet and to retail venders as we do have a lot of extra pallets that gets left over from our buyers.
Depressed Entrepreneurs - Thank you for your feedback. It seems to be the weather, isolation and some unfavourable projects getting my clients down. I personally find myself feeling quite grey with the weather. So much so that I spend as little time in my Vancouver office as I need to - it so slow and depressing there for me. In any case, thank you. Perhaps this is an issue we should be more proactive about in our entrepreneur resources. Dealing with the emotional issues of entrepreneurship. Thanks Kevin for the articles. The one was the exact one I was looking for. Must of been having a blonde moment in my searches
Re: how many hours do you spend in here per day? - [quote="OmnivoreInk":12jww1u3]Difficult to say.... I'd say I'm here an average of 30 minutes a day.... there's only five folders that I read every day... others I only read if there's some interesting post title...[/quote:12jww1u3] Hi Barbara, So can I ask what are the five folders you follow everyday?
Simple way to avoid Cold Calling - Gary, A chiropractor I work with hates cold calling (me too!) and he uses a technique to warm people up to using his services - it's so simple! In Sales your dealing with 3 pools of people: 1. Strangers 2. Prospects 3. Returning Customers You need to move people from one pool to the next. We'll concentrate on #1 and #2 as it's most relevant to your question. My Clients does the following (you just have to tailor it to your situation - be creative). My Client (we'll call him Bob) Bob leverages his time and resources to only get people that need his offer (pain relief) to put their hand up. Dealing with Strangers can get expensive and they don't like to be told what to do as they have no trust or relationship built with him. So to get Strangers to put their hands up he writes up an offer with a free report on a particular pain relief - let's say lower back pain (note: he can simply just change lower back pain to neck pain and have a new report). and uses multiple marketing vehicles to promote the Free report - magazines, newspaper, forums, postcards, private clinics etc. The only people picking up this information are the very people Bob would like as customers as they have Lower back pain. Bob's Free report ends with him stating his services and includes a Free in-house Consultation with no obligation. You'd be surprised at how easily Bob converts Strangers into Prospects. Note: They become prospects when they ask for the Free Guide and in exchange provide their contact details. This gives Bob unlimited opportunity to contact them for the Free in-house consultation with no obligation to continue using him. At this stage Bob's ability to close the sale lies in his office providing good customer service, Bob's ability to help the prospect and provide value at the free in-house consultation. Notice, he hasn't had to pick up the phone to COLD-CALL his Stranger pool or his Prospect pool. Hope that example helps to increase your prospecting!


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Selling On Ebay The Good The Bad And The Ugly

Top 7 Tips to Real Estate Agents’ Success

9 tips to increase ROI in PPC Campaigns

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.