|
|
Like this article? PLEASE +1 it! |  |
|
Are we allowing social media to ruin our real relationships?
| Guest post by: Ian Berry |
Article Overview: I estimate the total number of different people that I am connected to online is more than 3000 people. I am a minnow of course. I can’t imagine life for those with more than a million twitter followers! The key for me is that I have real relationships with about 150 people. Significantly Robin Dunbar’s number has been the constant for me pre and post social media. I believe we are allowing social media to ruin our real relationships when we are doing or not doing certain things.
 |
Free Download - Change management is an oxymoron By Ian Berry |
Are we allowing social media to ruin our real relationships?
I estimate the total number of different people that I am connected to online is more than 3000 people. I am a minnow of course. I can’t imagine life for those with more than a million twitter followers!
The key for me is that I have real relationships with about 150 people. Significantly Robin Dunbar’s number has been the constant for me pre and post social media.
The main value of having a significant social media presence for me is five-fold:
1) We do meet people online we probably wouldn’t have met otherwise who become colleagues, collaborators and friends. An example: Six out of the seven members of the Leadership Roundtable of Differencemakers Community which I founded, I first met online. Three of them I am still to meet in person.
2) We can enhance our reputation by consistent posting of high-quality content in the endless number of places to post that are available.
3) We can use technology such as skype and gotomeetings to strengthen and grow relationships and accomplish important tasks.
4) We can learn many things of value to our personal and business lives through online discussions, webinars, and other forums. Equally we can contribute much to others in the same ways.
5) Collaboration is much easier, more efficient and effective because of social media and the cloud.
My online to in-person ratio is about 5:1 i.e. 5 hours online:1 hour in-person. It was once 20:1 as I allowed myself to be almost completely consumed. Of course my real relationships suffered. I am working on getting my ratio to 3:1.
As mentioned in a blog post and slideshare recently:
“Your Network is who you like, know and trust.
Your Reputation depends on who likes, knows, and trusts you.
Your Business growth depends on who likes, knows and trusts you and who is prepared to take you to who likes, knows, and trusts them.”
I can’t speak for you of course, for me I don’t take anyone to meet someone who likes, knows, and trusts me unless I am certain of their value to such a person, and I can’t be certain of someone else’s value until I have a real relationship with them.
In my view real relationships are primarily built in person and only online when we can see people and get a true sense of who they are. Relationships can be enhanced and grown online but not usually built.
I have requests from people I have never met or seen or witnessed their work asking me for recommendations and referrals. How could I have integrity and do that? I couldn’t.
Are we allowing social media to ruin our real relationships?
My answer is yes when the following exist:
*Our ratio of online to in-person is out of harmony for us
*Our focus is on getting rather than giving
*We email or text or post when a call or visit would better enhance the relationship/s
*We say things online we wouldn’t say in person
*Our focus is on what’s happening on our so-called smart phones when we are in-person with other people
*We pay more attention to what people are saying online than we do in person
*Online work and play has become more important than in-person work and play
*We can’t switch-off our phones or leave them at home occasionally
*We post, text or email information about other people we haven’t run past them
*We are paying more attention to what people are saying about us online than they are in-person
*We notice our communication skills and ability to have meaningful conversations in-person have waned
*We have stopped or reduced saying in person Please, Thank You, I love you.
*The amount of quality in-person, without technology time we spend with family, friends and colleagues is reduced
Would you add any?
And what will you do today to ensure you stop allowing social media to ruin your real relationships?
“I've discovered a few things about the spread of ideas: first, in-person interaction really can't be beat. While digital ideas spread far and fast, there's something really powerful about being in the same room. And second, it often takes more than an hour or two to really dig in and discover not just who else is in the room with you, but what's holding you back and what's available to move you forward.”
Seth Godin
Be the difference you want to see in the world
Ian
SOCIAL MEDIA: THE NEW GOLDEN AGE OF COMMUNICATING!
Legal Marketing: Social Media and Law Firms
Social Media Principle 8 – The Behaviour is “Social”
Social Media Strategy
Serious Entrepreneurs Use Social Media To Get Leads Without Being Annoying
12 Tips for the Social Media Newbie
Who owns the new telephone at your TV Station?
Social Media is Getting Even Easier
The Secret to Successful Inbound Marketing
Personal Branding: Your Social Media Strategy
Make Social Media Marketing Work With Retail Product Sampling
Using Social Media to Help Business – Enhanced Online Marketing
“Should I or shouldn’t I”
Social Media Marketing for Accelerating Your Business
Social Media Marketing Tips for Travel Agents
Resourcing B2B social media
Social Media is NOT about Twitter, Facebook and Linkedin
Integrating Social Media Into Your Small Businesses?
Twitter goes business
How To Discover The Social Media Fit!
|
About the Author: Ian Berry RSS for Ian's articles - Visit Ian's website My specialisations are:
A sparkenation is a word I created to denote: a spark that ignites passion that leads to action that changes what’s normal. You can check out my books outline, download 3 sparkenations with my compliments, or purchase here. Click here to visit Ian's website   Every leadermanager is responsible for succession planning Not all the best things in life are free Stop trying to manage people Writing and sharing what we write is great for business Are you paying people to update their Facebook profile |
Related Forum Posts
Re: The Boom In Social Media
- [quote="WebBizIdeas.com":1tq4bauz]Good post terri,
I also feel that time management plays a large role in having a sucessful social media strategy. Why do you think 22 percent said social media was not profitable for them?
Jeff[/quote:1tq4bauz]
Thanks, Jeff.
If I had to guess, based on some questions folks are posting right here on evancarmichael.com forums, I'd say they don't see it as profitable because they aren't seeing clicks turn into sales. And I'd say they are missing the point. My ROI on Twitter and Facebook isn't the sales that I make -- it's the relationships I have built. Some of those turn into subscribers, which is an ROI of sorts. But the most important ROI is the people I've met who I've gotten to know and respect, who like and retweet what I post, who tell others about me, and vice versa. Some of those relationships eventually turn into clients, but that's not why I'm there...and that I think makes all the difference.
Re: Twitter, Social Networking: What's Your method?
- The bottom line:
You can have thousands of friends, and it takes only a second to add one, if you don't make conversation with them, it is a useless tool, like all social media sites.
I know many people who concentrate mainly on social media marketing, and they make money, but it takes time.
Personally, I rather skip social media and focus on other stuff, like article marketing, and I use social media only for fun and communicate with best friends.
Re: Approaching Social Marketing from the right angle
- Hi David,
great post on social media.
I think many lose site of the fact that it is called social for a reason.
The stage is set for you to build relationships and furthur enhance existing ones, I agree with you spamming your link to what ever is very unsavoury and not a great way to go
Re: Social Media Marketing Ignorance
- Social media is just a new way for people to communicate, just like the phone, just like email.
So you should simply just use it to communicate and build relationships with your audience. Every social media site is different and is used in different ways, so each takes some getting used to in order to see how the site works and how people interact.
Re: Real Estate via social networking?
- Now day’s people love to busy on Social media websites especially on Facebook. They are also using internet for all other usual task of their life. They are getting all things on social media sites that's why social media transfer lot traffic to website.
Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.
Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.
by: Stan Prokop, Canadian Business Financing
Build Your List with Joint Venture Giveaway Events
May 2012 Top 100 Social Media Experts to Follow on Twitter
What to measure to be phenomenally successful in business
10 mistakes of media relations
Making Money Blogging Can Be Tons Of Fun 
Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!
Four Reasons Why Entrepreneurs Should Blog
Five Ways to Show Honest Appreciation
Reverse Mentoring
Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.