Tweet

Stop trying to manage people

Guest post by: Ian Berry

Article Overview: “I hate managing people” was my client’s opening comment, before we had greeted one another in our usual friendly manner. “Great. Time to stop trying.” was my reply. My client gave me an out of character blank look. “People cannot be managed.” I said. Another blank look. I meet so many people negatively stressed by their perceived inability to solve so called people problems. After many years of observing and interacting with people I am led to several conclusions.

Stop trying to manage people

© Ian Berry. All rights reserved. “I hate managing people” was my client’s opening comment, before we had greeted one another in our usual friendly manner. “Great. Time to stop trying.” was my reply. My client gave me an out of character blank look. “People cannot be managed.” I said. Another blank look.

I meet so many people negatively stressed by their perceived inability to solve so called people problems. After many years of observing and interacting with people I am led to the following conclusions

• The problem with people is that we create our own problems
• People can only solve their own problems
• We can lead people, but not manage them (I feel leadership is the art of inspiring people to bring everything they are to everything they do. In my view, management is the science of making it easy for people to bring everything they are to everything they do)
• Leadership is therefore fundamentally about people and influence. Management is therefore fundamentally about systems and processes
• People bringing everything they are to everything they do rarely have problems they can’t solve
• On the surface less than desired performance occurs through lack of skill, will, circumstances beyond our control, or a combination of all three
• The underlying reason however for unsatisfactory performance is lack of self assurance
• When we are self assured we have the will and can learn the skill.
• Self assured people never bother about circumstances beyond their control

Having said all of the above, my client says “So my real role is to be self assured and to inspire others to be the same.” “Exactly.” I said

“So what are the characteristics of self assurance?” my client asks

The following are my thoughts that I shared with my client

Self assured people

• Demonstrate confidence that rarely spills over into arrogance
• Are committed to life-long learning, even to changing wisdom that was previously precious
• Live their values
• Make decisions that are often unpopular and follow these decisions through
• Readily turn information into insight
• Share insight but rarely information
• Articulate insight with clarity and passion so much so that others are inspired
• Fulfill responsibilities
• Deliver on promises
• Accept responsibility for their own feelings, thoughts and actions
• Respond to what happens rarely reacting
• Never blame or shame others
• Never take criticism offered by others personally
• Offer critique to others without attachment to what others may do about it
• Demonstrate commitment to continuous improvement by actually continuously improving

My client and I spent a lot of time in keen conversation about the above drawing the following conclusions

• We are authentic when we say what we mean and mean what we say
• We must genuinely love ourselves (warts and all) as the one-of-a-kind being that each of us is
• We must accept that our primary quest is to be the best one-of-a-kind being we can be
• When workplace culture is one where everyone is on such a quest our workplaces will be the remarkable places they should be
• Such workplaces are free of people problems

Stop trying to manage people. Call it a strategy if you will. Instead be self-assured and co-create an environment where others can be self-assured.

Be the difference you want to see in the world

Ian

Related Articles
  MANAGERS MANAGE
  Time’s a Wasting! What are you doing with it?
  Manage Salespeople One at a Time
  Time Management in an Instant by Karen Leland and Keith Bailey
  Selfish Leadership
  Time Management is an Oxymoron
  10 Tips for your Stop Doing List
  Article # 35 Managing Your Time When You Have None
  Debt Reduction Tips Every Joe Needs
  10 Tips for Creating a Successfull Business
  How Much Time Do Sales People Waste?
  Lying as a Form of Control
  Sales Success Tip-Either You are Growing or You are Dying
  Do You Think Buying Contractor Leads is the Best Way to Get Clients?
  3 Reasons To Consider A Residual Income Opportunity
  Your Prospects Aren't in Pain
  You Can’t Manage Time!
  Listening to and Understanding Your Feelings
  The Energy of Tolerations!
  Managing your Stress

Article Tags: change, engagement, interacting with people



Related Forum Posts
Re: 4 Ways to Go From Employee to Entrepreneur - To manage your own business and be an employee at another company is not an easy task. Every minute counts and you should manage your time wisely.Most people do this because they do not trust their business, but the fact is you can still do them both. thanks for the wise advise.
Re: Kevin's Case Study #8 - How do you attract a finance expert? - [quote="Evan":1mrvorf0]Hi Kevin, Is your friend looking for someone to help manage the business or to help raise capital? They are two completely different skill sets and your friend will likely need to engage two different people / companies.[/quote:1mrvorf0] Hi Evan, I think this person is looking for someone who can manage both responsibilities, but perhaps she will need to take your advice by engaging two separate people.
Re: Teen Investors - There was another thread about people learning how to manage money and not to get so far over their head in debt. With the vast number of people we see who are in so much debt and really can't manage their money - who should or could help teens learn to become more fiscally responsible? Credit cards are almost an automatic fix for millions of people - they want something and there's no money. So, they use credit cards. Its actually shocking how many people don't understand that paying only the minimum payment will cost them a fortune. No matter how cheap you buy things, if you buy it on credit and take time to pay - it isn't a deal. It would be great to help teens (and MANY adults) learn to handle their money better and then they would be able to invest if they want. Chris
RSS readers - Hi Russell, I use PageFlakes (free) to manage my RSS feeds - it's an easy way to stay on top of all the blogs that I want to read. I check in at least once a day to see what's new. You can also use it to manage information like weather, stocks, etc.
Re: Cash up front ... or Royalties? - Terry I agree with what you say here. It is a matter of learning to manage your money whether it is a small amount or a large amount. People who can't manage wont do so either way and will always have a financial problem. MichelleJ


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Time management for DIY PR

Paint A Word Picture - Excite Your Customer

How to Conduct a B2B Marketing Content Audit

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.