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Disagreement and Disrespect

Guest post by: Mike Friesen

Article Overview: An important concept for successful leaders is to recognize disagreement and disrespect are two completely different concepts. Confusing or combining the two concepts guarantees a dysfunctional organization.

Disagreement and Disrespect

Discovery is an amazing part of the leadership journey. The ability to discover is based on the skill of searching for and examining personal paradigms or mindsets. In the story by Hans Christian Andersen, The Emperor's New Clothes, a foolish ruler believes two con-men who say they can make invisible clothes. It appears the emperor realizes his mistake early on but ego prevents him from admitting the mistake. (Andersen, 1837)

Eventually, this ‘wise' potentate parades naked through his kingdom and we are all relieved when a child tells the truth about the emperor's pretend, new clothes. The lesson of this children's story can be applied to groups and organizations.

It is natural to like our own ideas best. Most of us do. The mistake comes, though, when a person of power likes the idea so well he equates disagreement with the idea to personal disrespect. This shuts down any hope of input from all but the bravest subordinates. This is a danger that all would-be leaders must guard against to allow the free flow of ideas from those who care about an organization.

Disagreement is not the same as disrespect.

Disagreement and disrespect are two distinctly different concepts. Combining or confusing the two guarantees a dysfunctional organization.



It is possible to disagree and do so with disrespect. It is also possible to disagree respectfully. For instance, when I had a Commander demand I make an illegal purchase with government funds, I kindly yet firmly declined.

This Commander did not give up. He gave me the order several times over a period of weeks. I continued to politely say "No sir and here is why not." The Colonel was very frustrated with my disagreement and felt I was not being a ‘team player.' You can imagine I breathed a sigh of relief when this gentleman retired.

Some people in authority see disagreement much like the emperor in the Hans Christian Andersen story above. If someone disagrees with an approach, it is personally insulting. This can lead to what is known as a boss surrounding himself with "yes-men." Gen George Marshall was once quoted as saying, "If you and I agree all the time, one of us is redundant." Well said. It is the responsibility of leaders at all levels to humbly explore input and intent of others. The organization will be much better for it.

If you firmly understand the difference between disagreement and disrespect ... you will go far as a leader!

As members of social, family, or business communities, we must be loyal to the ultimate purpose of the teams if we want to thrive as a larger group. This will cause conflict at times but this disagreement need not tear us apart. The charter of an effective leader is to be both honest and do so with respect ... at all times!

Reference

Andersen, Hans Christian. (1837). The Emporer's New Suite. Retrieved September 22, 2010, from hca.gilead.org.il/emperor.html

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Article Tags: different concepts, disagreement, disrespect, leadership, motivation, success, wisdom



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