Tweet

How to Click with People on the Phone

Guest post by: Rick Kirschner

Article Overview: Telephone. Tell a phone. There are times when I get the feeling I’m talking to a phone instead of over the phone. Incoming telemarketing calls don’t allow for meaningful connections. And by all reports, cold calls are another example of missed opportunities. Yet there’s no question that you can build connection with people over the phone.

How to Click with People on the Phone

Some people are better at connecting through the phone than others. When some people call, you can’t wait for the call to be done. Yet when you talk with others, time just disappears!

How do you use the phone to your advantage, and connect with people that you can’t see, and who can’t see you? You do this by matching some key vocal characteristics of the person you’re talking with. You don’t have to use all of these with everyone. Instead, a little goes a long way. In the art of persuasion, reducing differences makes the difference.

Match voice volume

Some people talk louder than others, others speak more quietly. Loud talkers may be hard of hearing, and quiet talkers may not know how hard they are to hear. But once you hear a person’s voice volume, talk at a similar volume to create that sense of common ground so necessary for a connection to take place. Remember, you don’t have to be as loud or quiet as the person you’re talking with.

My Dad is hard of hearing. During my recent time with him, I had to learn to speak at a much louder volume than I normally do, both in person, and over the phone when I called him while out running errands for him. Yet after less than a day of this, it became completely normal. Human beings are remarkably adaptable like that. The key to blending voice volume is to first notice it, then match it. In this way, the message comes through loud and clear, even when talking quietly.

Match talking speed

Some people talk faster than others, others talk slower. Fast talkers may get frustrated with slow talkers; slow talkers may feel insulted or untrusting with fast talkers. Talk at a similar pace as the person on the other end of the call, you’ll find it easier to get and maintain that positive connection! This obvious characteristic provides a powerful opportunity to reduce differences and send the signal, “I’m with you.”

Match speaking rhythm

You’ll find it easier to maintain confidence and speak with ease by hearing and matching the rhythm of the person you are talking with. Some people speak with in flowing sentences, one idea leading naturally to the next; others speak with gaps and hesitation. Flowing speech may sound arrogant and out of reach to the person who doesn’t have that way with words. Gaps and hesitation sound like a lack of confidence to the person who speaks with ease.

But what if you have no sense of rhythm? That’s the beauty of matching. The person you’re talking with is your guide. Do your best, and you’ll connect.

Match your energy

If a person has a subdued energy, dial yours down. If the person has a lot of energy, amp yours up! If the person sounds down, taking your mood down a notch or two may improve their mood. If a person sounds happy, a similar signal from you creates a better connection than dissonance and dissimilarity.

Match vocal variety

Just as variety is the spice of life, vocal variety can be a spicy mix of highs and lows that creates interest. The most interesting speakers, the most interesting people to talk with, use vocal variety to their benefit, to get and hold interest in what they’re saying.

If making a connection is your concern, use a similar variety of tones. Some people talk in a consistently high voice tone. Others in a consistently low voice tone. Others are somewhere in the middle. Some people practically sing their words. They have access to the full range of their tonal variety and use it to speak. Others speak in a monotone, or a narrow range that leaves out the highs and lows.

Match sentence length and word choices

I've observed that there are two extremes of verbal constructions: Too short, and running on. Let’s say that another way. With sentences, two extremes. Long. Short.

Short and to the point communications are great in email. They’re generally easier to track than long ones, and they allow one to get to the point and stick to it. But people who get too much to the point may find that they’ve failed to give their listener the detail they need to make sense of what they’re hearing.

Which brings me to run-on sentences where, if you are listening to someone who uses them and, if you’re waiting to find out where they are going with it and, even though it isn’t obvious you hang in there because you suspect that any moment now they will make the point and, that’s when you find yourself noticing all the connectors of fragments of thought into what sounds like an ending about to arrive then that’s when it hits you that the sentence is running on but the point has run away and you have no clue where they were going with this nor do you care anymore and, yet they keep adding in connectors as if somehow that ties it all together which, really, it does in the sense that it ties your brain up into knots and you’re not going to resolve anything by listening further…..

ARGH! YOIKS! DANG! WTF?

Yet when it comes to making and keeping connection, it helps to talk using a similar sentence length and word choices. You don’t have to go to extremes. But some people do have a little to say, and others a lot to say. Some use big words and long sentences, some use short words and short sentences. Hear it, and match it.

For some, it’s not what they say, it’s the words they use to say it. A person using a big vocabulary will appreciate you responding in kind. A person with a limited vocabulary may have trouble understanding complex words and ideas.

Likewise, some people use technical language and jargon, others use colloquialisms. Notice this and respond in kind, and you will make better connections over the phone and in general.

Related Articles
  Spread The Word Your Word
  Ringtone Branding - Another way to spread the brand
  ACT! - Tips and Techniques
  QuickBooks 2010 - Download This Product Update (R5) for Less Intrusive Marketing
  Measure THAT
  How to link an article with a menu item into your Joomla website
  What's All This about "Pay per Click" Advertising
  Article #39 How To: Online Advertising & Pay Per Click
  Why We Still Need Good Telephone Skills
  Optimize Your Pay Per Click Advertising With These 3 PPC Tips
  How To Use The Poll Component and Poll Module Within Your Joomla Content Management System
  A Useful New Resource
  Pros And Cons of Email Marketing And Pay Per Click Advertising
  Pre-recorded phone messages do more harm than good
  How Emotional Words Play a DeadSerious Role in Google Ads Blog Post Titles
  Before starting Pay Per Click
  Restore Backup
  How To Double Resource Box Click Through Rate For Your Article Marketing
  How to Choose a Pay-Per-Click Firm That Turns Clicks into Clients
  How to Set Up Gmail to Autorespond

Article Tags: cold calls, meaningful connections, telemarketing



Related Forum Posts
How do i answer the phone? - I learned this technique from a successful businessman who earns over a million dollars a year. He just uses his name like this... Phone rings... " This is Dwayne..." It kind of throws people off who have a preplanned script and gets right into it. Phone rings... " This is Dwayne..." No Hello, no good morning/afternoon/evening Phone rings... "This is Dwayne..."
Re: Google Chrome is not faster than firefox 3.1 - Just a quick update here for Beat, To copy your bookmarks (and history, passwords etc if you want) from IE to Firefox: Open Firefox, Click File (top left of browser) Click Import Select IE Click Next follow the instructions provided, hope this helps, Carol
Re: Can you read body language and convert it into a sale? - I can definitely read their mood by how they speak on the phone. You can usually also tell by the way they respond to the things you are saying. Phone sales aren't as easy as when you see them in person, but I still believe their tone can tell a lot.
How To Add A Paypal Button To Blogger - Hi Brendan, The blog is looking good. If possible, try to post something on it every day. You can vary the length of the posts, just something short when time is tight. There are two parts to getting the Paypal code on your site. First is getting the Paypal code! Second is getting it on your site! HOW TO GET YOUR PAYPAL CODE 1. Log in to Paypal 2. Click Merchant Services 3. Find the Key Features box on the right and click Donations. 4. Donations Page 1: Fill in the fields with your Donation name and a ref no. (the latter is not necessary). Choose a "Donate" button - I suggest the one with the pic of the credit cards beneath. It is up to you whether you "encrypt" or not. As you do not have a website there is no need to go to "Donations Page 2" for "more options", so you can just click "Create Button Now". 5. On the new page, click "Select All" for the "HTML Code for Websites" box and copy and paste the code to your blog. HOW TO GET YOUR PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON ON BLOGGER 1. Go to your Blogger.com dashboard. 2. Click the "Layout" tab. 3. Click "Add A Gadget" 4. Scroll down to HTML/JavaScript and click the + sign. 5. A small screen will pop up and you can PASTE your Paypal Donation Button code there and add a title if you wish. 6. Click SAVE on the small screen. 7. Now, back on the main screen you can preview and then SAVE. If all has gone well, you should now have a Paypal Donation button on your blog. === Best wishes, David H
Re: Can you read body language and convert it into a sale? - [quote="mbrand2222":3738chdj]I can definitely read their mood by how they speak on the phone. You can usually also tell by the way they respond to the things you are saying. Phone sales aren't as easy as when you see them in person, but I still believe their tone can tell a lot.[/quote:3738chdj] Hi Mary, Would you have a specific example you could share with us on how you cab turn an unfriendly tone (from a client) into a positive one or even a sale?


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Why Small Businesses Don't Survive

Adjusting Your World

Marketing & Sales tools – going back to basics

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.