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Business Advisors: Which is better: beautiful lies or brutal honesty?

Written by: Andrew Neitlich

Article Overview: Why many business leaders say things that they don't mean, and do things they say they don't -- and how to deal with it with integrity and authenticity.

Business Advisors: Which is better: beautiful lies or brutal honesty?

Have you noticed that many senior executives aren’t really committed to their companies or employees? They say they are. They talk about passion, vision, mission, and commitment. They talk about how important their employees are.

But once you get to know them (or read about their actions in the business press), you see that their goals are mostly about their own success and fulfillment.

I was a bit naive when I first started out in coaching and consulting, and thought that top executives got that way through self-sacrifice and a focus on the team. Then I had lunch with renowned executive coach Marshall Goldsmith and he set me straight: “Most executives could care less,” he shared. “They are thinking about themselves first, always.”

I chewed on his assertion for a while, thought about my clients, and it hit me that he is right. In general, executives are out to get rich, get famous, or stay secure/safe.

For this reason, I put more stock now in honesty than in commitment. I’m much more interested in having honest conversations with executives about what really matters to them, and that match their actions. Then we can get some results.

Here is an example: I worked with the executive team of a national consulting team that claimed that they valued their people and wanted to create a collegial and fun place to work.

But when I interviewed the “people” in question, the findings told a different story. The consultants in the firm painted a picture of a consulting “sweat shop,” paying good but not top wages in exchange for 5 days of travel per week, long days and nights, and little loyalty in return. People felt used up and rapidly burned out. Women saw no path to having a family and rising to the top of the firm. To rise up in the firm, you had to develop business and “eat what you kill.” And partners tolerated other partners who used abusive language or didn’t develop their people. No wonder turnover exceeded turnover at average consulting firms by more than 50%!

So I gave them a choice, to either stop claiming that they valued their people and wanted to create a collegial and fun working environment, or to start matching their actions with their words.

It turns out that, when they were really honest, the weren’t committed to their people. They were committed to growing their company as quickly as possible and then selling it. They wanted to have their employees stick around long enough for a company to buy them out. And what they valued most were employees who were aggressive and could quickly develop business.

Once they were honest, we could craft a strategy to find and groom people who didn’t mind working in tough conditions, and who liked the “eat what you kill” environment. The firm targeted a different type of new hire, and focused on training people to develop business. They also adjusted their compensation system to pay people for growing the firm, and — once they found a buyer — a retention bonus just for staying around.

Honesty is much more important than one’s stated commitment. Honesty discloses one’s real commitment, even if it is politically incorrect, and let’s a person craft a strategy to achieve what really matters to them.

The above details are not necessarily romantic or noble, but they get results! Don’t force people to adopt your own views about mission, vision, passion, etc. Listen to where people are really at, and craft a strategy that supports what is true for them.

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Article Tags: abusive language, assertion, business press, coach marshall, consulting firms, consulting team, different story, executive coach, executive team, fun place, honesty, marshall goldsmith, national consulting, self sacrifice, senior executives, sweat shop, top executives, turnover, vision mission, wages



Related Forum Posts
Re: Martin Luther King - Thanks Evan, That's very thought provoking and thank you GT for your thoughts on this as well. It's a bit of a strange one this, if my friends were silent I may be concerned as to why they weren't speaking to me or advising me where I was going wrong in which case would they really be my friends ?. Maybe it is when the sometimes brutal honesty that you expect from true friends is suddenly missing and you don't know why, is that what he would remember, hmmm. One thing is for sure and that is the enduring memories of my childhood and his historic ' I have a dream’ speech which was inspirational and the power of it still jumps out of the TV every time I see it. regards, Mal.
Re: How do you earn trust with an online business? - [quote="Kevin Lee":2wddn7w1]Hi Ros, When dealing with customers directly, sure honesty is the best policy. However, do you think you should actually make it a point to list the cons on your online business? Or will that deter too many customers/leads? For example, to earn trust, would it be better to post images of a paycheck for "$20" or "$50" for newbies? I mean most online marketing businesses will try to lure in conversions by posting pictures of successful people's monthly paychecks ("$10,000" earned in a month) and then have a tiny print stating "individual results will vary". To me, that's not really being "honest" and that's just selling hype.[/quote:2wddn7w1] Whether dealing with customers directly or on the internet, either way honesty is the best policy and if you are only telling half the story e.g. the up side of the business and then after joining the customer discovers the downside, not only have you lost them but you have hurt your reputation as well. If after hearing both sides they decide not to join, at least you still have your reputation intact. In fact you have probably strengthened it as you are proving your honesty and integrity. MichelleJ
My entry - 1. The Best Business Books Ever: The 100 Most Influential Business Books You'll Never Have Time to Read - this is a fascinating book about the history of Business theory, and I'd recommend it to anybody. 2. The Big Book of Small Business: You Don't Have to Run Your Business by the Seat of Your Pants, by Tom Gegax. Ditto. 3. PADI: The Business of Diving Book Okay, so this book won't be of use to anyone who doesn't want to start a scuba store, but I did, and this book was of course invaluable to me in reaching that goal.
Re: How do you earn trust with an online business? - Be as transparent as possible. Let people know who you really are. Don't hide behind your website. Make yourself known. This builds trust. And I agree, honesty is a must. While letting people know who you are certainly helps with credibility and establishing a relationship with others, honesty really goes a long way. When I write reviews for a product or program, I provide both the pros and cons. There's always going to be cons, so there's no point in sugarcoating something. You're just going to damage your reputation by making something sound better than it really is. No one likes a liar, and in the end, you're only lying to yourself. A blog really helps because you can be more personable and "talk" to your readers on a personal level. I have a picture of myself on my website and blog, and I provide contact information with my name, so people know who I am and know how to contact me.
Re: Building an Advisory Board - Steps 5 & 6 - [quote="TheRainmaker":2iirlscv]6) Ask for Honesty. while honesty to me, should not be something you have to ask for, in some cases it pays to be really really clear about what honesty means to you and to the others in your group. you have to allow everyone to express their thoughts and ideas, openly and frankly. this is no time to take things you dont like personally. I like to ask my board members what their mistakes on a certain topic were. It helps me learn from them and not have to face it the hard way on my own. If you foster open communication and honest feedback, focussing on problem solving and resolutions (not defending the mistake etc.) you will get further ahead than you even dream possible. Remove the EGO's from the room if you can. And always remember, the board came together because they believe in you, your business and your integrity. Capitalize on it![/quote:2iirlscv] Hi Jude, How do you interpret "honesty"? By that I mean, let's say you ask your advisory board if they like or dislike your new product and someone says "yes, I like it". While that person maybe telling you the truth...how do you go about deciphering the true meaning behind the comments made in an orderly fashion? Saying "I like it" could mean multiple things like: a) That advisory board member personally likes the product and would buy it, and thinks your target market will love it too. b) That advisory board member personally dislikes the product and would not buy it, but thinks your target market will love it though. c) That advisory board member personally likes the product, but not enough to buy it, yet he/she thinks your target market will love it though. etc. There's no time to ask each advisory board member more probabing questions to get out the complete "truth". So what do you recommend?


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