Handling Criticism

• Super competence or Super incompetence, both will not be acceptable to organizations - Dr. Lawrence J Peter in the book 'Peter Principle'

• People interested in your welfare will cry inside, while criticizing you; People who are not interested in your welfare will laugh and mock, while criticizing you - (Late) Mrs. Vasantha Gopalachary quoting some very old proverb • Every grain you eat has your name etched on it by God and nobody can snatch it - Old Hindi Proverb Criticism are two types - Constructive and Destructive. Constructive criticism is required by all for self improvement. Destructive criticism is to be avoided. Any excessive criticism is an indirect praise. Destructive criticism makes people take less risks, lose creativity, drive and initiative. As a result, we lose the full potential of employees. Does it mean criticism has to be avoided? No. Constructive criticism is required, if you want improvements to take place. The secret is how you deliver it to others and accept it from others. A junior can criticize a senior and vice versa. It is not always top down. It can be bottom up too. Most of us are sensitive to criticism. We are egoistic and personal pride does not allow it. Experience shows that people who are interested in your welfare, criticize you. Parents, Teachers and Friends fall under this category. At the place of work, it is different. At workplace, people who deliver destructive criticism are generally bullies. One common characteristic of all bullies is that they are cowards. People who accept bullying day in and day out are also cowards.

The way to handle criticism is to identify the motives behind it. Generally, we can establish a pattern of behavior for most people's criticism. If it is for your self improvement, accept and act upon it. If you feel that the motive is to put you down or destructive and if it is from a senior, develop a thick skin temporarily and ignore it. It is difficult. Reacting to it will lead to conflicts and you may not be in a position to protect your interests. We have to eat the humble pie many times in our lives, even if we are right, because it is better to have a job than no job at all. In such cases, you stoop to conquer. This is part of strategy and tactics. You will get hurt when you take on people who are stronger than you. There is no point in having your nose bloodied and having other people laugh and mock at you.

You may have to react to unjust criticism or treatment vehemently, at some point of time. The impact of it should be such that it shuts up the person once and for all. He or she dare not unjustly criticize or ill treat you again. This needs judgment and timing. You should do your home work. You must have your own private book and record everything that transpired, as and when it happened. This will be very useful for your analysis and preparation. When you go to war, you must be absolutely cool, calm and collected. You must not waiver and should not be afraid of the worst consequence, which is losing your job, without an alternative in hand. You must be focused on your target. The fortune always favors the brave. You will come out unscathed, if you are right, because your boss has a boss. You should be mentally prepared for the break in relationships and the resultant consequences at a later date. After that spread the word around that you are looking for a change. However, you should not slacken. You must put in extra efforts to do even better. Most will be looking for a chance to get even. Do not worry about bad references. If you are really good, even your worst enemy will not give a bad reference. The worst thing he can say about you is that you are arrogant. The whole world will know that you are good. He or She will be too happy that you are out of his or her way. Whatever happens is for the good. Be a brave soldier and not a coward. It is better to die than to live in constant fear.

Nothing is more important in life than your self respect. You will walk 10 feet tall after that and your tormentor will look like a mouse in front of you. Your tormentor will never be able to look you in the eye. You must remember, before you do that, you have to be honest to yourself, have a clear conscience, hone your skills and have self confidence in your abilities. You must center or ground yourself and draw a circle in which you will allow no human being to trespass. Overcome the fear of another human being. No body can snatch your bread. Every grain you eat has your name etched on it by God and no one else has access to it. The most important thing is other people will soon realize the truth and your tormentor will meet his end, sooner than later. But the sad aspect of this is neither you nor your tormentor is the loser. It is the organization and its management must ensure that such instances do not occur and injustice is not done to any one. Destructive criticism is normally delivered by mediocre people. It is mediocre people who are able to bear it. It is the main reason they often prosper at workplace as compared to very competent people.

Copyright. February 27, 2008;

Handling Criticism - To learn more about this author, visit Madhavan T Gopalachary's Website.

Like this article? Share it with your friends

E-Mail | Print | More

Related Articles
Shipping and handling
	Here's a product sold by a merchant via Amazon that costs about $2.50. Except that the shipping and handling are more than $8. And the item weighs about two ounces.
Interpreting Criticism: Walking Away As A Woman Empowered
	The thought of being criticized sends most of us women shrinking back as if we’ve been seriously burned! However, there are ways to handle criticism that don’t leave you feeling blistered and burned. In fact, it’s ...
Handling Objections in Four Simple Steps (Really)
	Handling objections is the single most challenging part of a sale for most salespeople. The reason for this is two-fold. The first, and most important of these, is that most sales people have not been trained on the...
Ten Commitments to Ethics and Personal Conduct For Business Coaches – From Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach
	Business coaching remains a rapidly growing profession and one of the impacts of this rapid growth is more scrutiny of the profession. There have been some predictions that business coaching and other fo...
Tips To Deal With Unhappy Clients, From Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach
	How many of you have ever had to deal with an unhappy client or customer? What did you do? Did you feel prepared to deal with the unhappy client or customer? Yes, sooner or later, in every business there appears ...

---

Related Forum Posts
	Hiring the best people for the job
	Non Commercial Food Service Handbook
	The Work At Home Balancing Act: The professional resource gu