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Managing Conflict

Guest post by: Eric Garner

Article Overview: Most of us fall into 3 camps when it comes to facing a conflict with others. First, there are those who withdraw. Second, there are those who can't wait to get stuck in. Third, there are those who know how to turn it into a successful outcome. Which are you?

Managing Conflict

Conflict is an ever-present feature in organisations where people work together. Conflict can arise in your job over differences of opinion; it can also arise on a personal level between people who don't get on. Often we feel that we have no choices in conflict. Like nations, if we are attacked we feel we only have the choice of attacking back or taking things lying down. But we do have choices. And those choices enable us to make the best decisions about how to respond. Here are 7 choices in conflict. 1. Avoidance Some people react to any kind of conflict by avoiding it. They blank it out, withdraw and take no part. Unfortunately, while this may be a useful move in calming things down, it also allows others to walk all over us. 2. Yield and Bend Yielding in the face of force can be a wise tactical move. It gives you the chance to wait until the dust settles and then come back to the issues at a better time. Doing this is like the water reed that bends in the storm and doesn't break, unlike the defiant oak that does. 3. Direct Aggression Aggression often feels like the only option when faced with aggression from someone else, particularly if your rights or those you care about are under threat. However, direct aggression as a response to conflict suggests you are not interested in the views of the other side and are only interested in winning the day. 4. Indirect Aggression Overt aggression is easy to spot and acknowledge but often aggression takes a less obvious guise. Indirect aggression can appear in many ways, such as putting people and their ideas down, lecturing them, offering unwanted advice, prying, and nagging. It is still a way of saying, "my ideas and what I want are more important than your ideas and what you want". 5. Accommodation Accommodators are people whose response to conflict is to find some middle ground that will solve the conflict. It may mean splitting the spoils down the middle, taking something for yourself and giving something to the other side. Of course, not all conflicts can be solved this way and this approach can leave people feeling that while something has been gained, something has also been lost. 6. Responding to Bullies Bullies love conflict. It is their way of getting what they want and asserting themselves without regard to others. Their victims are often people who are competent at their job but lacking in the skills of dealing with confrontation. There is only way to deal with bullies in or out of the workplace and that is to acquire and use the skills of assertiveness. 7. Assertiveness Assertiveness is the best way to manage conflict. The assertive principles of standing up for oneself while acknowledging the rights of others mean that both tactically and strategically the assertive person always has a win-win solution to conflict in their mind. Their solution is always about wisdom never force. It is inevitable that, whether you're a manager or team player, you will face conflict in the workplace either as part of your job role or as part of your relationships with others. The key to managing it successfully is to approach it not as a negative and destructive process but as a positive and constructive one.

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Article Tags: aggression, assertiveness, conflict



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