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Behavioural Intelligence, Impact and Influence in Negotiation – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Participation and Trust

Guest post by: Clive Hook

Article Overview: The act of influencing, whether in negotiations, meetings or conversations is the process of changing someone’s mind so that they choose to act, think or feel a different way about something or someone. If your preferred style of influencing is Participation and Trust you listen actively, drawing out contributions from others and showing understanding or appreciation where contributions are forthcoming. Your tendency is to focus on the strengths and positive aspects of others and you rely on people’s good nature to do what they say they will do.

Behavioural Intelligence, Impact and Influence in Negotiation – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Participation and Trust

The act of influencing, whether in negotiations, meetings or conversations is the process of changing someone’s mind so that they choose to act, think or feel a different way about something or someone. To influence someone you need to say or do something – you need to choose and use a behaviour.

The range of behaviours you use in such influencing situations is a direct result of your motivational values system. This is your set of personal beliefs which guide your thinking and feelings (and thus your behaviour) in social interactions. These beliefs or values operate individually or in combinations to create predictable influencing styles.

If your preferred style of influencing is Participation and Trust you listen actively, drawing out contributions from others and showing understanding or appreciation where contributions are forthcoming. Your tendency is to focus on the strengths and positive aspects of others and you rely on people’s good nature to do what they say they will do.

The Good – You are willing to give others freedom and personal responsibility in work. This means they feel trusted to do a good job and empowered by you. They are likely to feel engaged and have a sense of ownership for the work and the outcomes they produce. Your style of influencing is a style which encourages others to give of their best and be self-motivated rather than relying on you to do the motivating. You build on and extend the ideas of others. By your example you try to create trust and openness in relationships so that others feel accepted for what they are and do not feel the need to compete for control.

The Bad – Your trust can be abused. Since you see the good side of people you may not notice that they are, in fact, not taking the responsibility for a particular course of action and things don’t get done – so deadlines may be missed or actions not taken and you may not know about them until this happens more than once or a customer complains. You may then be seen as careless or inefficient because you did not notice the issue before it became a problem.

The Ugly – You may develop a reputation as a “soft touch” and this in turn creates an image of weakness or an inability to take unpopular decisions or deal with resistance. Your hope that people will respond to positive affirmations of their strengths can look and sound like you are scared of confrontation. “Soft touch” can become “doormat” and people walk all over you. This will be bitterly disappointing to you and you might well withdraw your support and lines of communication to show your displeasure. Regrettably this will only add to your perceived inability to manage.

Behavioural Intelligence includes noticing when your tendencies or preferred styles are inappropriate and choosing to do something which, whilst not “the real you” achieves the objectives and delivers the required results – even if this can negatively affect the personal relationship for a time.

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Article Tags: getting buy in, influencing skills, influencing style, negotiation skills, stakeholder management, strategic influencing



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