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Behavioural Intelligence, Impact and Influence in Negotiation – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Rewards and Punishment

Guest post by: Clive Hook

Article Overview: When influencing others you seek to affect the behaviours, thinking and feelings of others through what you say or do. This is part of the process in negotiations, presentations and meetings designed to engage and build commitments. If your preferred style of influencing is Rewards and Punishment you use the carrot and stick as your primary tools. The juicy carrot reward tempts the donkey to move and the punishment stick reminds him who is in charge if he doesn’t. Of course you don’t use methods as crude as this with people but the principles are similar.

Behavioural Intelligence, Impact and Influence in Negotiation – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Rewards and Punishment

When influencing others you seek to affect the behaviours, thinking and feelings of others through what you say or do. This is part of the process in negotiations, presentations and meetings designed to engage and build commitments. In these types of interactions you are balancing the need for a result with the maintenance or development of the relationship. Too much emphasis on one at the expense of the other may mean you do not reach a wise outcome or sustainable solution.

The range of behaviours you use in these influencing situations are founded on your motivational values system – your set of personal truths, the way you see the world and how it works and the beliefs which guide your social interactions. These motivational values operate alone or in combinations to create predictable styles of behaviour.

If your preferred style of influencing is Rewards and Punishment you use the carrot and stick as your primary tools. The juicy carrot reward tempts the donkey to move and the punishment stick reminds him who is in charge if he doesn’t. Of course you don’t use methods as crude as this with people but the principles are similar.

The Good – People know where they stand with you. You are renowned for straight talking, no nonsense approaches to problems and situations. You let others know what you want, expect or require of them and what standards will be used in judging performance. If they don’t do what’s needed you make sure they understand they’ve not achieved. You freely express praise for a job well done too and show your approval in tangible rewards and recognition.

The Bad – Your reputation for action and results also coincides with a reputation for anger, impatience and outbursts if nothing seems to be actually happening. If you can see a quick resolution which gets things done this can cause you to sweep other ideas or objections aside in service of an achievement or tangible outcome. No result is a failure for you and you want to win. You do not like losing and can react angrily or withdraw if this looks like happening.

The Ugly – People may describe you as arrogant or a bully because of your anger and aggressive behaviour when people raise objections that get in the way of getting things done. Win/Win is not a concept you easily acknowledge and most negotiations can seem like a competition or battle. There is no doubt that you bear grudges – particularly if you feel you’ve lost; this can seriously affect working relationships. People may avoid involving you in discussions because of your emotional outbursts.

Behavioural Intelligence requires you to engage your brain in managing your behaviour and to interrupt or inhibit what might be a natural tendency when faced with something that creates an emotional reaction in you. The best negotiators, influencers and leaders recognise that their strengths can also be their weaknesses and they use Behavioural Intelligence to make informed, reasoned decisions about what to say or do next

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Article Tags: getting buy in, influencing skills, influencing skills training, negotiation skills, negotiation skills training, stakeholder management, strategic influencing



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