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Impact and Influence in Action – Make Sure Everyone Knows Where You’re Starting From

Guest post by: Clive Hook

Article Overview: It’s important to set the scene for the discussions and make sure everyone is clear about the agenda. The danger here is that the need to get what you want or to resolve the issue means you jump straight into problem solving mode and discussions become about what needs to happen to move things to a conclusion. Just as important is clarifying what current reality is right now. It might not be where you or “they” would like to be but it is where you are in reality and thus is the starting point.

Impact and Influence in Action – Make Sure Everyone Knows Where You’re Starting From

It’s important to set the scene for the discussions and make sure everyone is clear about the agenda – and then it’s time to get down to business. The danger here is that the need to get what you want or to resolve the issue means you jump straight into problem solving mode and discussions become about what needs to happen to move things to a conclusion.

In my work with negotiators, leaders and senior managers I rarely find myself saying “you need to move quicker”. I am not suggesting that everything should become ponderous and detailed rather that we follow a structure which allows for the issues to be clearly understood before moving on to look for solutions. A dollar for every time I’d met people who found themselves working either on the wrong issue or not quite the whole issue would have amassed quite a pile by now.

You need to be clear on what your desired end results for the discussions. Just as important is clarifying what current reality is right now. It might not be where you or “they” would like to be but it is where you are in reality and thus is the starting point.

In the Hale Circle of Influence™ map, that I find so useful in coaching others in negotiating and having the right impact and influence, this point is called “Position”. You need to do something or say something to make this happen – and you need to be asking not telling. There are probably two types or categories of question that you’re engaging in.

Confirmation – Checking that what you understand to be the case is in fact correct. These are more likely to be “closed” or “semi-closed” questions. A typical question here is “So is X still the person who needs to understand what is required before resources are committed?” or “Are you still undecided about where to go next with Project Y?”

Exploratory – Here you’re looking for extra information that will help you get a richer picture of the current reality so that, before you try to influence, you are in possession of other dimensions or facets that will be useful. This type of question is more “open” and is likely to elicit more information. “Who else is involved in the decision making?” “What else is important to consider as we think about the situation?”

Notice here that the answers could change what you decide to do next – that’s why it’s so important not to have over-prepared a master plan that follows a neat A-B-C-D schedule where you hope you’ll say A they’ll say B and then you say C and D and the discussions over. My experience is they say K and it’s time to quickly back up, rethink and update current reality.

The most successful influencers, negotiators and leaders do this. It’s what thinking on your feet really is – not knee-jerk reactions but responding to new realities. Moving on without knowing what reality is – the current position – is foolhardy.

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Article Tags: influencing skills, influencing skills training, negotiation skills, negotiation skills training



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