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Impact and Influence in Action – There’s More than One Way to Float Your Ideas
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| Guest post by: Clive Hook |
Article Overview: Influencing, persuasion and negotiation is a game of sorts. That doesn’t mean it’s not serious – think World Cup soccer and notice how much a game can exhilarate, infuriate and become the subject of national debate. As well as rules there are rituals (these are the accepted way of doing things) and one of these seems to be that we “float” our ideas to improve their acceptability rather than ask outright. Although you may value your personal style of directness, forthrightness and straight speaking this is a time, in my opinion, to play by the particular rules and rituals of the negotiation game.
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Impact and Influence in Action – There’s More than One Way to Float Your Ideas
Influencing, persuasion and negotiation is a game of
sorts. That doesn’t mean it’s not
serious – think World Cup soccer and notice how much a game can exhilarate,
infuriate and become the subject of national debate. The analogy of the game is important because
it is a reminder that there are rules that apply and expectations that players
will abide by the rules – even when they are not spoken or written. The notion of “fair play” in negotiation is
as important as the offside rule in soccer – and the subject of much debate.
All’s fair in love, war and negotiation apparently. Outright lying is not OK but failing to
mention something seems OK in many cultures I have worked in. As well as rules there are rituals (these are
the accepted way of doing things) and one of these seems to be that we “float”
our ideas to improve their acceptability rather than ask outright. Although you may value your personal style of
directness, forthrightness and straight speaking this is a time, in my opinion,
to play by the particular rules of the negotiation game.
In Richard Hale’s valuable map The Hale Circle of Influence™ the section of the map is
“Proposals” – it comes after we have established preferences and before we make
plans for future action. If you are to
manage your impact, influence and persuasion you need to remain conscious of
where you are on the map and choose when to move into this area.
There are two distinct ways to move into this section and
it’s important to make a conscious decision about your behaviour. When coaching and training leaders,
negotiators and influencers I introduce the difference between “push” and
“pull” behaviours and the importance of these two forces in gaining movement
during conversations, meeting and negotiations.
A “push” behaviour sends something out from you and a “pull” behaviour
encourages something from the other person.
In the “Proposals” section of the map, then, you can either
make proposals for the other people to consider or you can prompt them to come
up with proposals. How those look and
sound in practice are
Making Proposals
(Push) – Putting forward a suggestion or idea for consideration by others. “I
suggest we think about the following as a way forward” or “Can I propose a
possible solution here?”
Seeking Proposals
(Pull) – Encouraging others to make proposals or suggestions. This is typically with a question like “What
thoughts do you have about how to proceed?”
In some cases and cultures an even less direct approach may be called
for with wording like “I wonder what might be a way to proceed”. This allows the other side to ease into
proposing mode – very important in cultures which favour indirect ways of
operating.
The best negotiators and leaders know when it’s time to
change from pull to push when things aren’t moving and discussions are stalled. As always, you may not be able to directly
manage their behaviour – but you can always manage your own.
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About the Author: Clive Hook RSS for Clive's articles - Visit Clive's website Clive is co-founder of ClearWorth - a company specialising in the design, development and delivery of bespoke learning for senior managers, leaders and influencers. Clive lives in the UK and France and works all over the world from Ohio to Oman, Windsor to Warri and Calgary to Kuala Lumpur. He specialises in the development of persuasion, influencing and negotiation skills and has a particular interest in their use within differing cultures. Clive's interest in teams and groups and his wide knowledge of conversational skills has spurred the development of a new approach which helps teams focus on what is really important through intelligent conversations. Click here to visit Clive's website Behaviour Descriptions Conversation Control Map 1 Your Personal Potential |
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